Majordownload
Garland-Green


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The problem with the "tough love" approach is that it tends to make even reasonable, open-minded people back away and go on the defensive, because they feel they're being attacked. And once that happens, you've pretty much lost them for sure.

Let's say, hypothetically, that I'm a non-believer and you're trying to bring me to Christ. Now, I'm a reasonable, open-minded fellow and for the sake of this scenario let's say that I'm a sort of hopeful agnostic, and I'm willing to listen to what you have to say. If you come at me guns blazing telling me to repent my evil sinful ways or suffer for eternity in the flames of damnation, I'm probably going to feel that you're attacking and threatening me, and thus am probably going to dismiss you and walk away. It doesn't matter how good your intentions are, as a non-believer, all I experienced was someone telling me that I was evil and sinful and going to burn in hell....a hell, I might add, that I don't even believe in.

However, if you approached me and, say, told me with a smile all the ways that having God in your life has benefited you and how you wanted to share that love and joy with the world, I might go home that day and actually think seriously about what you said and take a long hard look at my life and beliefs.

It sounds like you do have the best intentions and genuinely want to help save people, but as Garland Green said, non-believers don't believe in hell, so it doesn't scare them. The best way to witness to those people is to try to live by example, and stress the joy and love bits instead of the fire and brimstone.


Regarding the OP: I've honestly only ever seen porn by accident (yes I'm male and yes I know that's unusual) so I don't really have any first-hand advice for you. Does you internet have parental control settings? If so, maybe you could get a friend to block at least some porn sites (I don't really know how internet parental controls work, just that some people have them) to try to lessen your temptation. Or if you can't do that, perhaps just make a list of sites that you want/need to visit regularly and are "safe for work," and try to ONLY go to those sites.

You're not alone. If you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me. I haven't personally struggled with pornography, but I have dealt with a lot of other sexual sins. So if you ever need a sympathetic, non-judgmental ear (er...eyes, as the case may be), I'm happy to help however I can. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Hang in there, stay strong, and God bless!