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kesuke uchiha

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 2:17 am
I think I mentioned this before...but there is a girl I know....and I really really like her...and she is crazy for God....holds my same morals......and I really want to go with this...I will not defy my morals...though I wish to be with this woman.....but....she is so scared of being hurt. though just recently she has decided to give it a try....she wants to see if God means for me and her to be together...this was my aim all along...though I dont want it to go too fast.....we both know what we want...we want marriage...though we only just met each other like...a month ago....its going too fast.....I dont want her to press herself....and I dont want her to think I am just playing her....I really want this to happen...I love this woman....I just need some guidence as to the steps I should take  
PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 1:23 pm
First of all you need to make sure you sit down and discuss how far and fast your going to take things sexually.
You need to make sure your on the same path as far as what you both think is acceptable before marriage. i.e. She may think hand-holding is as far as she wants to go while you think it's okay to kiss.
You don't want to touch her or do anything to make her think your taking advantage of her.

Sit down and pray together. Pray for the Lord to direct you both on where to take this relationship.

Make sure she understands that you don't want to hurt her by jumping into something and that you think it best if you both date for at least 5 months, a year ect.

But most importantly be her friend <3
 

jesusgirl115

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Hathor The Mad

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 2:32 pm
I have been with my husband for ten years now and I can tell you as long as you take your time and get to be friends first you will build a strong bond. My spouse is not only the man I love but my best friend. Not saying you always get along but you come together with time.
Might I suggest taking to your pastor/minister about this. There are plenty of people who come to them with these kinds of questions.  
PostPosted: Tue Feb 28, 2012 3:41 pm
This somewhat reminds me of when me and my husband met (before we were married of course). We both went to a college group (we didn't attend the same church, but ended up at that college group at this one church) and one night, after the Bible study, someone was going to have a surprise birthday party. I didn't want to go since I didn't buy a gift and didn't know the girl much anyway, but everyone was invited. My friends were like, "C'mon, Kaylen! We should go! It'll be fun!" So I went and I met a guy there whose friend also encouraged him to go. It was a lot of fun and was a chill evening. I met my husband playing Scrabble. I was watching, not playing, but walked up and stood, looking down at the board and no one made room for me to sit and he did. Then we talked about all sorts of things and were able to laugh and joke around. I added him on Facebook and talked to him a lot and that led to texting.

We wanted to date after knowing each other for 3 days. The urge to date was so strong because we felt we knew each other and got along great! We agreed to be friends because we didn't want to move too fast and were "friends" for a month and then we decided to date and then a month later he proposed to me. I accepted and was excited. His family knew, but I stalled on telling my parents because I knew that my Mom hated the interracial marriage thing and she would probably freak out since she kept telling me I was too young to get married and when we told them 2 months later, they freaked out. My Mom tried to scare my husband out of it by saying I get sick all the time and I stay up all night and that I'm mean and wouldn't appreciate him. I mean, even these days she tells me my husband only tells me I'm pretty because he has to and it's his obligation, which I don't like. My Dad was kind of, "Whatever, it's your decision." and just put in a few words of advice. About 3-4 months later, my husband and I had our wedding and were married.

Now, to most people they always say, "You're married?! You two look so young!" and, "You moved too fast and got married way too soon!" But the thing was, it's not always how fast the relationship grows, it's if you make sure your relationship is alright with God first. We both prayed before getting married and before we were engaged we knew both of us took our relationship seriously and talked about our beliefs, our likes and dislikes as far as foods, pet peeves, movies, etc. After we were engaged, we got more in depth about these things and talked about how we felt about certain sexual issues, if we both wanted kids, what we were for or against in the bedroom just so we knew what to expect when we have sex after marriage. We've been married for almost 2 years and annoy a few people because we still act like we did when we were engaged, but from time to time do have our own stresses in life and challenges that come before us, but nothing is impossible with God!

Don't freak out if your relationship blooms rapidly, just make sure you save sex until after marriage, everything is clicking right with you and the one you love, and make sure to pray together about it before you dive into marriage. Praying about it is important and continuing to seek God is also important. Without God, a relationship can be hard to maintain, but even with God you will have relationship challenges. I believe that some people date longer than others because that's how they feel about their relationship. Just don't make a mistake by saying that God isn't first. God always comes first!

Keep in mind that once you get to know someone and consider them as a partner for life that they will not only be your wife, they will also be your girlfriend, your lover, and most importantly - your best friend! My husband once told me, "I think the problem in relationships is that people only love each other and they stop liking each other." and he has a valid point. Meaning that if you're just stuck in the "love" mode, you're not going to "like" them as a best friend and you need to be able to like AND love each other smile

Most of all, make sure boundaries are present. These are important and can keep both people from making the mistake of having premarital sex. Discuss what is appropriate. For some guys, even long hugs cause them to be turned on so it makes it harder for them to think with the head on their shoulders sometimes. Don't be afraid to discuss your boundaries! If you feel that you shouldn't have super long hugs or have your girl lay her head on your lap then please, say it! This will be your partner for a while and if they are also going to be your spouse - do not be afraid to talk about what is on your mind!

I wish you the best in your relationship and God's will will be done.  

Aquatic_blue

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