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 Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2012 12:35 pm
Alice is awesome. Pure and simple. Cute, smart, sexy, responsible as she can be, affectionate... Just everything I've wanted in a partner. The only dread I'm feeling is the sense that maybe I'm overperfecting or overdoing things, but I seriously am starting to think I've found a wonderful, wonderful person.
And I'm going to get to see her in-person this summer.
Sure, I'm going to be missing out on a furcon (I can only financially afford one trip this summer, not to mention I don't want to take TOO much time off now that I have a confirmed job), but choosing between meeting someone with whom I'm very emotionally close or going to a convention where I know little to none of the people, and a convention I've been to before at that... I think the choice is kinda obvious.
Mom's even on-board (probably because she'd rather send me to Juarez with its drug cartels than a furcon) and is going to help with some of the financial stuff. I'll be flying up to North Carolina from Dallas early June, then the next day, we're driving to Gatlinburg Tennessee. Beautiful scenery, Ripley's Believe it or Not museums, aquariums, local sights, and promises of pillow and blanket fort cuddlefests are shaping this up to be amazing.
Things seem to just be getting better and better. Hakuna Matata. I haven't been this happy in awhile.
Cheers,
Matt
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 12:07 pm
So this job opportunity is going to be a lot bigger than I thought.
With no training as an intern, I'm getting hired at $12/hr. This summer, I'll be able to go to Phoenix to take some additional courses. With these courses, and 3 projects I've done for the company I'm working for, I can become a Crestron Certified Programmer.
What does this mean?
First, the Phoenix trip means I get to see Reya. I get to see BOTH of my partners over the summer for a week on end? Yes. Please.
Also, certification promises a raise to $21/hr, most likely, and the ability to consistently work from home on weekends for job-based pay.
And finally, because I will need to drive to work this summer, my parents are going to help me get a car. Something that gets better than 8 miles to the gallon.
I'm not so worried now if my scholarship doesn't pull through, I think I can make up for it by other means. Life is looking good.
Cheers,
Matt
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Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 6:32 am
LupineLeif So this job opportunity is going to be a lot bigger than I thought. (snip) Wow! I'm happy for you! emotion_brofist
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Posted: Sat May 26, 2012 4:32 pm
Alice and I aren't going to be taking things seriously anymore. Her graveyard shift has left her with neither the time nor the energy to maintain a relationship.
The Crestron job fell through. The company that was going to hire me isn't getting enough to work to merit hiring me.
College has kicked me right in the a**. My scholarship got downgraded and I'm questioning if technology is even right for me. I don't want to be that guy that changes majors every semester, but I don't know what the hell to do with myself.
I'm running low on money, I don't know if this trip to see Alice is going to be within my comfort zone in light of recent events, I'm tired, I'm experiencing multiple symptoms of depression...
I don't know what to do anymore.
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Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 2:31 pm
Trip went better than expected. Physical contact allowed for a slight rekindling of the relationship, but I don't know if it's going to last with Alice going back on her work schedule.
I'm a little drained and tired, don't feel like doing a whole lot. Depression isn't as bad as before, but still...
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Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 2:39 am
Why is there no tip button in guilds bleg. I can understand the work schedule and nerfing personal time. One of my partner's and I have totally opposite work schedules- even though I live in the same house with them I rarely see them.
Have you been treating your depression? Some of the non medication stuff I do for mine is eat leafy greens (kale, spinach, broccoli, collard greens) as they help supply the base chemicals needed to make serotonin. Also walking in the sun and physical activity seem to help me as well.
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Posted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 8:00 pm
Blackrose_Knight Have you been treating your depression? Some of the non medication stuff I do for mine is eat leafy greens (kale, spinach, broccoli, collard greens) as they help supply the base chemicals needed to make serotonin. Also walking in the sun and physical activity seem to help me as well. I did not know about the leafy greens, I will make sure to request a spinach salad next time Mom goes shopping. I'm currently living at home over the summer, and as much hell as I'm putting my parents through between my financial and academic misgivings, I certainly don't want to drop potential depression on them. I doubt they would even take it seriously, and confirmation of this little nagging idea is the last thing I need. I'm getting more than my fair share of physical activity in recent yard work. I wouldn't say it makes me feel better, more that it makes me too tired to feel much else. Alice and I have been keeping in better touch, albeit brief touch. I hope this keeps up... even just two minutes of catching up and affection can help me feel better for a whole evening. Recent events: stepbrother is living with us once again. He just graduated from high school, he'll be working for my stepdad over the summer. I will not be working this summer... getting screwed out of Crestron has made finding places with openings nigh-impossible. Hopefully I can get some rest despite the yardwork like this, and hopefully when my brother starts work, I can get some privacy.
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Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 12:20 am
Blackrose_Knight Why is there no tip button in guilds bleg. I can understand the work schedule and nerfing personal time. One of my partner's and I have totally opposite work schedules- even though I live in the same house with them I rarely see them. Have you been treating your depression? Some of the non medication stuff I do for mine is eat leafy greens (kale, spinach, broccoli, collard greens) as they help supply the base chemicals needed to make serotonin. Also walking in the sun and physical activity seem to help me as well. I've also been wishing for a tip-post button in guilds. I think it's time we start bugging the Gaia team anbout it in feedback. xd also, is that a gay pride mood bubble? I so need one of those now... and I also didn't know about the greens helping with seratonin. o.o explains alot. anywho, I wish I had advice to help with your situation, Leif. all I can realy do is be supportive. still, I hope that helps. ^_^ good luck, and here's hoping for more improvement. long distance can realy have it's ups and downs.
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Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 6:01 pm
Chieftain Twilight anywho, I wish I had advice to help with your situation, Leif. all I can realy do is be supportive. still, I hope that helps. ^_^ good luck, and here's hoping for more improvement. long distance can realy have it's ups and downs. Don't I know it... Wiped out, blisters all over my hands, and my Dad just has more work lined up for me tomorrow. Two to three weeks, and I should finally be able to treat summer break like a break again.
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Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 7:40 pm
LupineLeif Chieftain Twilight anywho, I wish I had advice to help with your situation, Leif. all I can realy do is be supportive. still, I hope that helps. ^_^ good luck, and here's hoping for more improvement. long distance can realy have it's ups and downs. Don't I know it... Wiped out, blisters all over my hands, and my Dad just has more work lined up for me tomorrow. Two to three weeks, and I should finally be able to treat summer break like a break again. I never did like summer break... or weekends. I'm a working kinda guy, and hate not having something to do.
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Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 12:35 am
Chieftain Twilight I've also been wishing for a tip-post button in guilds. I think it's time we start bugging the Gaia team anbout it in feedback. xd also, is that a gay pride mood bubble? I so need one of those now... and I also didn't know about the greens helping with serotonin. o.o explains alot. Think of brain chemicals as legos. You need a certain combo of smaller lego bricks to build the bigger lego form serotonin is. If you don't have the smaller bricks you cannot complete the form - thus no serotonin - thus no happy chemical for the brain. Darker greens contain glutathione which is a precurser (a smaller lego brick) to serotonin. There are several little lego bricks that build the bigger form serotonin. Foods that help with serotonin production/upkeep Sorry to blab on this was a college project lol.
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Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 4:40 pm
Blackrose_Knight Chieftain Twilight I've also been wishing for a tip-post button in guilds. I think it's time we start bugging the Gaia team anbout it in feedback. xd also, is that a gay pride mood bubble? I so need one of those now... and I also didn't know about the greens helping with serotonin. o.o explains alot. Think of brain chemicals as legos. You need a certain combo of smaller lego bricks to build the bigger lego form serotonin is. If you don't have the smaller bricks you cannot complete the form - thus no serotonin - thus no happy chemical for the brain. Darker greens contain glutathione which is a precurser (a smaller lego brick) to serotonin. There are several little lego bricks that build the bigger form serotonin. Foods that help with serotonin production/upkeep Sorry to blab on this was a college project lol. nah, it's all good; I love this stuff! biggrin I'm gonna be taking a Microbiology class later in my college career just for the fun of it! xd I realy dig Biochemistry. ^_^
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Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2012 9:09 pm
Thanks for all the biology input, guys smile
My aunt is going to be visiting for a couple of weeks. She's one of my favorite relatives, so assuming my Mom and Dad don't nag me or overwork me, respectively, into a bad mood, I should be in for some relief for a little while.
Tomorrow I'm donating blood. Reason enough to keep from working me, and it will make me feel like I'm worth something, which is something that I have a hard time with.
Time to listen to music and try to let off some steam so I don't have a heart attack or an aneurysm or something.
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Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2012 1:10 am
Two weeks later...
Money just feels like it's getting tighter and tighter, courtesy of not having a job. Doesn't help that my scholarship got downgraded, so I'll have less to spend once I'm out of the house at college too. I feel like student loans are going to bite me in the a** hard and there's noting I can really do about it.
Starting to loathe the nagging and inconsistency at home. Can't tell whether I should try to be happy or try to apply myself, having a hard time enjoying myself when I do attempt to be personally productive. Just drained. Also can't say I enjoy not knowing where the hell I'm going to be at the end of the year, what I'm going to be doing with myself, etc.
Tempted to call all of my relationships quits until I can get my s**t in a pile but worried I'll fall to pieces entirely if I don't get some relief from my loved ones. Hopefully this just turns out to be tired rambling, though I'm worried it isn't.
Good night, for now.
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