Divorced/Separated Parents with children

[faithful quenga]

I am a sinner... "1 John 1:8"

As most of you know I am currently going through a separation with my husband. What I'm asking for today is feedback from other people who maybe have gone through a divorce or separation and have children. Or from anyone with experience in those area's from when they were kids.

Here's the situation:

Since my husband left and things settled after a few days with our daughter I have noticed her changing... a lot. Her personality is brighter and stronger. She is much more fearless and when she falls or gets hurt she is quick to jump up and get back to what she was doing. She has never been that kind of kid before. She is playing with her words more and her tone of voice. The best way to describe it is like a flower in bloom. Though she was always a happy kid with minimal melt downs and behaved like the best 4year old I've ever seen she is just blossoming.

I don't know much about child development and at which age they start to come into themselves more. I know her whole life thus far has been like that, constant growth and absorption of the world around her. But since my husband left it's been much faster coming and very noticeable.

I've talked about this with a couple people and they all seem to think that she is changing because David is gone and she doesn't have to be so careful about things. And she won't get yelled at or talked to like she is despised (which is how he would talk to her at times when she got in trouble.)

So I'm asking here for feedback and opinions about this. I know I enjoy very much the new little person my daughter is becoming and I don't want it to stop.

...Saved by God's grace "Acts 15:11"

 

[Hathor The Mad]

As a parent I know that can happen with children sometimes. If she is doing well then continue to encourage her and sounds like you are doing just fine by the way. Is he the father and will she have to have visits? If this is the case you may want to bring up concerns with custody court if it ever came to that. And if something happens if he has visitation don't hesitate to report it to CPS. They may not do anything but however they can document it for future issues. But if this is not the case and he dose not have visitation rights then just dont worry about it and she will adjust fine. Im just speaking from past experience with friends of mine who have gone through divorce. It can be hard on children sometimes but as long as they have the emotional support needed they do fine.
I too came from a divorced family.  

[faithful quenga]

Yes he is the Father of her and I filed for sole legal/physical custody of my daughter and I have a court day of march 6th. Where he is living is far from a healthy environment for anyone let alone a child who can't protect herself or stick up for herself really yet. I want her to be able to have visitations but supervised at first because I believe he may have gone back into old patterns of self destruction. Though at this point he is 200miles away and has made no attempt to see her except demand that I let him have her for a few days without me present and that's just not going to happen without a judge saying it can.

We were involved with CPS when Riley was 9months old because David (her dad/my husband). When I filed all the paper work to open the case I wrote all of that in there and made sure I didn't hide anything. I also contacted David's old therapist who was the original person to first report David to CPS and he helped me with somethings. This isn't easy but with all prayers of those I've asked to pray for us, its not so overwhelming and I know it will be better on the other side.

He was calling to talk to her every night before her bed time but he said some pretty nasty things to me over the phone and his sponsor suggested he not call for a couple weeks so that hopefully he will get a clearer level minded head. I only know that is why he isn't calling because I go to a bible study every Monday night and his Sponsor is part of it.