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Riddle is going to be the death of me.

I've been avoiding the guild and posting this thread, because thinking about this sucks and I just haven't wanted to. I know you've all probably been wondering what's going on with Riddle's elbow after I hijacked Gaby's thread about Cowboy, and honestly we still don't know.

The quote for scoping her elbow is $3,000. No, I did not mistype a zero. I just want to bang my head on a wall. With x-rays failing us, the scope is the only way to know what exactly is happening in there. The extra crappy part is that if its something like a bone chip, they can fix it while they're scoping- but if its elbow dysplasia, there's nothing they can do and I'll have dropped 3k for nothing.

I don't want to be one of those "it costs too much I can't" owners, but DAMN. I'm still paying off her knee surgery! I can't afford 3k. I want to throw myself off a cliff for not being able to just say, "Yes let's do this I have the money!" I feel like I'm failing her. Because I am.

I talked to her PT on Wednesday. She thinks that the amount Riddle is limping isn't enough to justify spending the money on the scoping. She thinks that with therapy she can manage. So we're doing even more exercises, stretches, etc. We also spent some of the money we were saving on a 10 pack of underwater treadmill sessions. She's losing muscle mass and that will help. We're also trying 5 minutes off leash time daily. If she does okay with that, we'll bump it to 10 minutes next week.

I'm just... so bummed. The PT said that even if the limping worsens and we have to do the arthroscopy, Riddle will have to be limited in off leash time for the rest of her life. sad There's already arthritis in the elbow, and the way she acts like a nutjob off leash means that she'll never get 100% free roam ever again. She's not even six and we're already looking at limited exercise for life. She's already had to quit so many things she loves, and now she can't even run when she wants. What kind of life is that?

As the icing on the cake, I found a lump just a couple inches from where her mast cell tumor was removed in February. I'm trying not to freak out too much about it, and wait to see if it goes away, but I'm pretty much failing.

Combined with the fact that Puck needs a blood draw to check kidney function, Melon has a weird lump in his mouth that won't disappear, and Monstee really needs her teeth cleaned, and its no wonder I'm getting acid reflux again. Sigh.

Sometimes you have to set a financial limit on things in life, including pets.
You also have to take quality of life into account. It sounds like even if it is just a chip and they are able to "fix it", she'll still be limited in what she's allowed/able to do, and have to suffer with arthritis. Is it fair to her? Do you want her to live the next potentially 10 years in pain?

No matter what you choose and what happens, though, you have to remember that none of this is your fault; sometimes s**t happens in life and there's not a whole hell of a lot you can do about the past.

sometimes we honestly just cant afford it anymore. i had to stop taking my rats to the vet after a while because it was getting so expensive since it seemed like all my boys were getting old and sick around the same time.

you have done so much more for riddle than most other people would do. you have been through alot these past few years and you have done a great job with your human and animal family so dont you ever think you have failed riddle just because you cant afford surgery because your still paying off her medical bills

Savage, you've done so much for her already, don't ever feel like you're failing Riddle. We're the most HxC pets group out there, and we've all seen what you've done for her over the years. My pets are my life, and even then, I can't say that I'd be able to do the same as you have.

*HUGS* Is it selfish to say I know how you feel? I had nightmares last night about Cowboy, because I started doing a bit of frisbee with him and after the latest session of maybe 5-10mins he held up his leg. He doesn't seem to be noticeably limping, but he definitely was showing soreness. And at 6yrs old I wanted to cry that I couldn't play frisbee for 10 whole minutes with him. That I had to tell him NO and put all the frisbees away when he was dying to keep going despite the pain.

Sorry, now I'm high jacking YOUR thread.

I think, your PT is probably right. 3k is A LOT when there is no way of knowing if it will help her or not. It's still a huge amount of money even if you knew it would help. I think, the majority of pet owners, would just sentence the dog to leash walks or let them run figuring they'll stop if they're really in pain, they know when to stop. OR euthanasia. It's hard to lecture people about responsibilities as a pet owner and then get slapped in the face with such a huge vet bill. I mean, my friends often say I'm crazy for being so invested in my pets, and for me, blood tests, urine tests, good diets, that's like, minimum care. Then I spend 200 bucks for 5ml of adequan and I'm like, hmm, maybe I am crazy? Maybe being this in love with my pets ISN"T healthy. confused

I think I would fail as a vet cause I would want to give everyone services at cost. I wish I could do Puck's blood tests for you, or aspirate those lumps, or clean Monstee's teeth. Do you have an animal health school nearby? They operate like real clinic's but non-profit so everything is pretty much at cost. A dental here is 140-300 depending on if blood work is needed and/or extractions. I could also run a 12 panel for Puck at 25-50 bucks.

I can't wait till my probation at work is over and I get the services we don't have at school at cost. Like Cowboy's drugs, and the water treadmill. I'm really sick of working myself miserable to pay for my 4 pets.

Anyway, to get back on track a bit. You are not failing her. You are doing the best you can with what you have. Which is waayy better care than even people who CAN afford it would offer. Although I'm thinking for both of us when I say, maybe pet insurance is a good idea after all. When you're one of those people who never wants to say no to vet care, it can certainly add up. It's a piece of mind anyway.

Edit: As mentioned, you do need to think about yourself as well you know. I've been trying magnesium teas, they seem to work, though I've only sampled two so far. They work as muscle relaxants. I also do a lavender roobois tea. And I try try try, to get exercise because that seems to be the best stress reliever for me. I just, mostly don't have time, and it's a vicious cycle of I'm too tired to workout, but I'm tired cause I haven't done any physical activities.