I think I have Depression, HELP!!

[Arkangelstar1]

I think I have depression. This is caused by my father NOT being a christian believer sweatdrop , so he doesn`t give me fatherly love, like JESUS would, (but lately he`s kinda been trying sweatdrop to, THANK GOD 4laugh , because God has been working with him slowly, due to the many prayers of friends and family ) and because ever since I was a little girl I have been rejected by people sad , In school I was bullied, not physically, but emotionally, by some of my classmates. emo I have also been rejected by boys that I have liked, A LOT. I was mocked in school sad . I feel extremely lonely sometimes. In other words I wasn`t one of the most popular girls in school, elementary school, that slowly changed when I reached high school, in high school, people accepted me more. It is like the story of the ugly duckling that becomes a swam. That kinda happened to me sweatdrop when I reached puberty, high school or College. In elementary school I was the nerd of the class or the ugly duckling. crying : The popular girls always got picked as girlfriends by boys, I imagine that I would be the last one to be chosen sad emo , and if all other girls on planet earth ceased to exist or dissappeared, then they might chose me as a possible match. And I know that I am NOT an ugly girl, I am just an extremely shy person. ( If I wasn`t a christian, of if I didn`t have JESUS 3nodding in my heart heart , who knows maybe I might have done it by now. You know what I mean by done it, right? = xp It has crossed my mind a lot, on many occasions to dissappear from existance, but something always stops me, like Angels, JESUS, God, the thought that my family might suffer if I am gone, and the thought that if I cause my own death, my soul will go eternally to Hell or i`ll become a ghost and other evil ghosts or spirits will attack me. I just can`t seem to find a soulmate, the closest that I have come is internet dating sites, internet dating websites or internet relationships. A few months ago, ever since the death of Michael Jackson, I became fanatic, obsessed with him or with his figure. For a while hearing his music videos, songs, etc.. filled my heart with happiness or joy. But then, I started either seeing his ghost in my house, or his families spirits inside my house. I assume that they sometimes are demons that take their shape or form to confuse me or make me feel scared. I started getting scared, since I had written in a lot of MJ forums advice and stuff like that, and I identified myself. I got scared since i am NOT sure what religion his family belongs to, and I don`t know if my messages offended him (if he were alive) or his family. I even pictured myself being redface the daughter of MICHAEL JACKSON in my mind, or pretending mentally to be her, to make myself feel better, to make myself feel better, about myself sweatdrop ( Since she was treated like a little Princess at the memorial service), and I know her father loved her a lot. So since this started happening to me, I stopped listening to his music. Maybe what affected me was that since I have never had a real official boyfriend before, I pretended mentally to believe that MJ and I were soulmates and that in the 1984 grammys, It was supposed to be Mj and me, NOT MJ and Brooke shields, whom sometimes I also envy, other than MJ`s kids. I felt like and sometimes still feel like if my life is in danger, since I started hearing voices inside my own house, apparently of MJs family, who either mocked me, criticized me for being childish etc,.... I really really hope, that most of those voices that I heard, or spirits that I saw were demons. I say this because some people say that witches and people that work with the occult, can sometimes travel in spirit with deep meditation, it is called astral proyection I think. I don`t like going to physchologists because I don`t have a medical plan that can afford such treatment. I saw in Tv what happened to Michael Jackson for trusting a doctor, that`s why I don`t trust phsychologists to give me any type of medication. The only doctor I trust comepletely is JESUSCHRIST of Nazareth. If I have no choice and have to go to the Hospital when I am really sick, i go, because I have No other choice, but if I can get cured naturally, I try that first, to avoid getting some strange medication, since all medications have secondary effects. I try natural remedies first always. I just take natural pills or supplements, that help against depression naturally. In my mind I don`t know why I have been rejected so many times, because I am a good person. I don`t have many friends, only 1 best friend, and the rest are just people I know, or people I add to facebook or friends of my family or my close family. I try reading the Bible, I try going to church, I try christian music, and les Mj music. I also try thinking that there are people on planet earth that have worse problems than me, to make myself feel better. I also try to think like cases of Princess Diana, who didn`t live a fairytale life, even after she married her prince charming, also to make myself feel better. But I can`t help it, any way i put it I feel lonely, even though I know that JESUS Christ is always with me and the Angels, but since I can`t always see them or feel their presences near me, thats why I tend to feel alone. I can`t find a job, this also stresses me out, since my dad thinks I am NOT trying, but I am trying, I just can`t find any job at all sad . Ill try getting a hobbie or exercising, to see if it helps. Most people at my age are already married by now, I must be the exception to the rule, although I knows that God knows why things happen or don`t, that God has a plan. PLEASE HELP ME! PLEASE PRAY FOR ME !

Something strange happened since i got obsessed with MJ, just go here and find out >>

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efaOo-see00&feature=channel_video_title

I am happy that this happened, because it gives me hope of him being alive heart somehow, somewhere smile , or that in a way, he cared for me, as a friend who cares for his fans smile for me writing such nice messages or advice to him in forums smile 3nodding

I know that Thriller (one of my favorite songs and music videos of Michael smile ) seems scary and evil in a way, but since Michael put that message before the music video, that he doesn`t want to have to do anything with the occult, that confuses me confused Some songs are to give hope and other songs are just scary, I just want to know you`r opinion.

I say this, because I heard a rumor that Michaels money was going away, since he belonged to a strange religion or sect that affected him, or that took financial control over his estate. His family says that he feared getting murdered, and that same fear that he had, sometimes I have felt it also, even though all I wanted was to meet Mj in person when he was alive, or to help him with his skin condition by giving him natural advice or some natural supplements that i know that have cured people 3nodding , but his father scares me ninja , since he was mean to them when they were little. I believed in Michaels innocence in the other trial, the child molestation charges, since he loves little people, and since he likes donating to charities.

Another thing that I would like to ask is if do you believe in Aliens mrgreen ninja , since i have seen some UFO`s in strange places in my country eek sweatdrop , what do you think they are and why? DEMONS IN disguise? according to the Bible, what does the BIBLE say about them ? confused I saw Men in Black, and sometimes I wonder if there are aliens living among us, pretending to be normal people, aliens in disguise. confused confused


P.S. I kinda picture myself as being a heart Princess of Angels or Angel Princess 3nodding , in the books that I wrote mrgreen , in my mind and in Gaia rolleyes , LOL, as you will see in my profile and in my avatar arena gallery rolleyes , to make myself feel better, and as you will see in the book I wrote called: Angel Princess Star. 3nodding  

[WoodSorrelWitch]

I seriously doubt that your depression is solely caused by your father being a non-believer. It may be a part of it though. Depression is often a chemical imbalance in your brain. I speak from experience because I have depression. I can give you some more information or point you in a direction if you would like more information.

Rejection is a normal part of life. I can't tell you how many times that I have been rejected as well. That includes friends, family and random strangers. Jesus promised us that because we follow Him, we will face rejection. He told us in advance that we can expect that.

As for being accepted more as you got older, that is to be expected also. You are dealing with people who are more mature and like you, they are looking to be accepted as well.

Thinking about committing suicide can also be a normal part of life. Life is scary and often times, everyone has a hard time adjusting to their different stages of life, to life's events, to just life in general. Not only is your body changing physically and mentally but life is changing all around you. It's a war zone sometimes. But remember "the Lord will fight for you. You need only be still." Confide in Jesus to how you are feeling - ask for His help. He wants you to come to him with things that are bothering you.

As to finding a soulmate, be patient. How many people are in the world? Over 6 billion (or something like that?) You may not be at a point in life to have met your soulmate yet. Though, keep in mind that having a relationship online can be very impersonal and unreal. Some people can handle that kind of relationship and others cannot.

Be careful about obsessions - in the end, they are false idols. "Have no other God before me". God is a jealous God. He wants all of you, not some of you. If you are scared that these spirits you see might be demons, call upon Jesus. Remember, demons trembled before Him and fled at His command. Ask God if the things you see are from Him and if they are not, ask God for His protection. Why, under any circumstances, do you wish that the spirits you see are demons? They are trying to take you away from Jesus. i would recommend reading the book of Ephesians. It talks about spiritual warfare and putting on the armor of God.

Like anything, doctors can be good or bad. Did you know that Luke, one of Jesus' apostles, was a doctor? I've had some bad doctors but I've also had some very good, kind and caring doctors. God gave us the knowledge for people to become doctors if they wanted to. You don't have to take medicine from a psychologist. You don't have to take any mediation if you don't want to. However, I myself see a therapist. She is a licensed family therapist who has been very kind, patient and helpful in my healing of life trauma. Do you go to school? In high school and college there are school counselors available to help you with things that are bothering you.
Yes, medicine can have negative affects too but often times, when prescribed and taken correctly, they do much more good then bad. I caution you about taking things labeled as "natural". Just because someone says that a certain medication is natural, does not always mean that it is good.

You are a good person by who's standards? Your standards or God's standards? By God's standards, we are all sinners and fall short of His expectations. But there is hope! He sent His son, Jesus to die for us so that we may have eternal life through Him.
We don't have to read our Bibles or go to church for Jesus to love us or for us to be saved. They help us in that God can use those things to speak to us but they are not required. I believe that God wants spiritual progression from us, not perfection. The only perfect one is Jesus.

You don't have to compare your problems and feelings to that of others. Your feelings and struggles are just as valid as the next person's. I encourage you to bring them to God, to let go of them and let God take over.

I hope that some of what I said makes sense and I will pray for you^^  

[jesusgirl115]

I totally agree with everything PawPrint said.

I'm glad you have found something that makes you happy in your times of trouble but just make sure you are not putting it before your relationship with God.

I will be praying for you... please message me if there is something you want/need to talk about and pray, or just want to talk. I would be happy to do it.
After all. We are sisters in Christ <3 : )

 

[Arcosi Knight]

Christ is a powerful healer. However, God helps those who help themselves, right? He'll help you summon the will and courage to better yourself, but you need to do your part.

Yes, you'll probably want some medicines to help you. I don't see the problem with MJ music. Personally, I don't like it myself, but it's just a matter of taste. You were right in curbing it from an obsessive level though.

First of all, I can empathize with your shyness. I'm probably ten times more socially reserved than you are. It's more of a lifestyle choice for me than anything. If your so worried about finding a bf who won't want to 'go at it', then tell me, is there anyone who goes to your school who goes to your church as well? I'm not saying ask them out at church, but if they hold strong to faith and Christ's word, then that is the place to find out. Not only do you not have to be as worried about committing certain sins, but a strong love of Christ would surely counts as something you and that special someone would have in common, right?  

[starry night-163]

Hmm... You know I don't believe in ghosts I think they're just demons. Now as for your obsession all I can say is repent of it and run to your savior! the Messiah! The king of kings and Lord of Lords and do not hesitate. As for the rest of your post, your depression can always be fixed but you need to seek the savior and fast and pray about it.

Matthew 7:7-11
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man is there among you who, when his son asks for a loaf, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!

http://illbehonest.com/Shocking-Youth-Message-Paul-Washer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GF7w-fNz2g

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8X8dYCfKk_g

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1GgGyV8ZQc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1GgGyV8ZQc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvkqmUygsCU

As for your voice mail message, I don't think it was Michael Jackson, it must have been the demons that are haunting you. I don't really know what else to say other than I'll be praying for you n you need to fast and pray and seek our savior is all.  

[Arkangelstar1]

Thank you all for the advice smile , I am slowly sweatdrop getting over the MJ obsession, but sometimes I still hear their voices talking about me (sometimes good things, sometimes bad things, sometimes mocking me, ( his kid or family ), mostly the voices of his family. Christian music has helped a LOT. I don`t only blame my father, since I think other "DEMONS" disguised as ghosts that look like rich and famous family of hollywood celebrities, came to torment my fathers demons cry , especially since i listened a LOT to his music and concerts, so that might be why my father started acting a little rude sometimes, since other DEMONS put him in a bad mood, or made him act that way. My fathers demons were trying to protect me, that`s why he got angry when I put Mj music or concert over and over again, maybe DEMONS know each other and they know how mean other demons can be, or how controlling of other peoples children. It is just a theory that I have sweatdrop , I know it sounds crazy redface , since I don`t always understand the spiritual world surrounding me. I didn`t mean to put any celebrity in the position that God needs to have in my life, it was just something that happened without me having any control over it, since I was feeling lonely, since I don`t have many real true friends or boyfriend, hope you all understand, God Bless !! please keep praying 4 me, I want to be a normal happy human being, without any obsessions whatsoever, so my mind can me stable always, and so I can be in a happy mood always !! I live sometimes in fear that rich famous people might hurt me (like what happened to Michael when he was a boy) , please pray so it never happens !! sweatdrop

P.S,: AND THEY ALSO TORMENTED ME, AND MY MIND, TRYING TO CONTROL MY MIND, MAKING ME BELIEVE THAT I WAS IN 2 OR 3 PLACES AT ONCE, AND EVER SINCE THAT I ACTUALLY STARTED BELIEVING IT, THAT I COULD ACTUALLY BE IN MORE THAN 1 PLACE AT A TIME, AND I STARTED GETTING MORE AND MORE CONFUSED ABOUT WHERE I WAS, SO I STARTED LOOSING CONSCIOUSNESS ABOUT WHERE I WAS, LIKE WHAT HAPPENS TO PEOPLE THAT HAVE ADD. Like if the demons or evil spirits, or bad ghosts or "brujos", or bad presences, or phantoms had put a mental spell on me. By the way, I don`t have ADD, but the demons made me believe that I did have ADD sad , or that I was crazy ! cry (which is NOT true )



I got soo obsessed gonk that I even started writing messages in forums to him ninja , fan mail, crazy, right ? sweatdrop

arrow > http://messagestomichaeljackson.wordpress.com/2009/11/08/hello-my-friends/

I guess i pittied him, and I tried to help him with the cure 4 cancer if he were still alive, so i recommended a few natural supplements that might have helped him, but instead I got wrapped up in a spiritual problem or battle for trying to help someone! sweatdrop I received bad in return for good or for my kindness toward others., I guess good samaritans are NOT as common as I though they were sweatdrop , so I got spiritually attacked by God knows who, or what confused , although I got a pretty good idea or suspicion of the whom they were ! ninja (if i would have known that, I would have never written any messages in any forums at all ) sad TOO LATE, I tried to delete, but SOME MESSAGES CAN`T BE DELETED ! sad gonk I should have never told them who I really was gonk , I should have used a surname or a fictional name or username when writing those messages in 2 different forums in internet (which by the way, the other forum, mysteriously disappeared eek from internet ninja or was closed ninja )