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 Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 7:36 am
My mother is starting to threaten to drop off the face of the earth if her and my dad get a divorce, while in the car yesterday she said she would rayther disappear and die than go through that. She also claims I would take my dad's side every time. I live here with her to help her and take care of her, it has gotten to the point I maybe sleep 4 hours if I am lucky. any advice.
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Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 7:45 am
I wish I had some advice, but the only thing I can say is you need to take care of yourself. If you're only sleeping for 4 hours a day due to helping your mom out, then let her know that. Let her know you're there for her, that she doesn't need to do anything drastic, but also that you need some peace in your life as well.
I've never been in this situation so I don't know if this will help. And out of curiosity, are you old enough to move out or are you staying with her by law?
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Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 7:52 am
Soulless Muffinz I wish I had some advice, but the only thing I can say is you need to take care of yourself. If you're only sleeping for 4 hours a day due to helping your mom out, then let her know that. Let her know you're there for her, that she doesn't need to do anything drastic, but also that you need some peace in your life as well. I've never been in this situation so I don't know if this will help. And out of curiosity, are you old enough to move out or are you staying with her by law? I am old enough to move out, but I do not have a job except for a few writing commissions which aren't really getting enough, and if I tried to tell her what is happening, she would say I only care about myself, and that I am a ungrateful child. She would think drastic is the only way to go because she thinks everything should go her way. She has even tried to put me out on the street because I look like my dad
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Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 8:01 am
In All Reality Soulless Muffinz I wish I had some advice, but the only thing I can say is you need to take care of yourself. If you're only sleeping for 4 hours a day due to helping your mom out, then let her know that. Let her know you're there for her, that she doesn't need to do anything drastic, but also that you need some peace in your life as well. I've never been in this situation so I don't know if this will help. And out of curiosity, are you old enough to move out or are you staying with her by law? I am old enough to move out, but I do not have a job except for a few writing commissions which aren't really getting enough, and if I tried to tell her what is happening, she would say I only care about myself, and that I am a ungrateful child. She would think drastic is the only way to go because she thinks everything should go her way. She has even tried to put me out on the street because I look like my dad Oh wow. I'm sorry but she sounds like she really doesn't deserve your help. But I can see why you would want to, with her being your mom. But I know what it feels like for a parent to think you only care about yourself and say you're always ungrateful and all that. My mom does the same thing. She wouldn't try to kick me out though, so I don't really know what advice to give. Because, if you drop her than she might do some pretty horrible things but if you keep helping her, then your own health is at stake. I don't know what will be best to do in this situation..sorry I couldn't be more help.
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Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 8:06 am
it is alright, sometimes just talking about ti helps, it makes the pain go away a little more. And don't worry you have helped, just having someone to talk to about it all helps
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Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 8:38 am
In All Reality it is alright, sometimes just talking about ti helps, it makes the pain go away a little more. And don't worry you have helped, just having someone to talk to about it all helps Oh! Well, I'm glad to have been some help (8
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Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 11:50 am
Maybe you can talk to your other family members who care about you and her, maybe devise a way to get her to go to counseling. Then maybe the counselor could help her break her dependence from you, and obsession with your father. Maybe help her breakthrough to the underlying cause that sent your father packing....
Although I don't know much about your situation, I wouldn't be surprised if your mother is the type that would be offended at the mention of therapy, but she probably is comfortable in her miserable state, and gets a subconscious satisfaction from her power to make others feel as bad or worse than herself. She needs professional help, but probably doesn't really want help...
I would be careful that you don't let her bring you down beyond your tolerance, because that would be bad for the both of you.
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Posted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 1:39 pm
Well with her personality type you have to probably tip toe around alot of certain subjects with her. So you're going to have to apply a little psychology to her. Examine her behavior closely and you'd be surprised what you will notice when you look closer.
It sounds silly, but rewards always help train people. Just like training a pet you can do it with humans as well. Rewarding for a job well done or trying to change a person's behavior to be more pleasant with it can be achieved.
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