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 Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 8:39 pm
No, not "lesbians". wink Love.
I just recently entered my first poly relationship from my mono relationship with my fiance. No worries I and my partner have his blessing of course.
While my brain has mostly made the paradigm shift my verbal cortex seems to have missed the memo. stressed When my new partner says "I love you", I find it hard to respond back with an "I love you too". I do love them. Warm, squishy, new relationship energy, shitting rainbows, sparkly eyed, twitterpated love. I just seem to stumble on the words when the time comes for them.
Some strange social/verbal tongue twister is tying my poor tongue in a knot.
That bugs me. I feel like I am not effectively expressing my affection for my new love. sweatdrop
Suggestions on how to untie my confused brain/tongue would be helpful. heart
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Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 8:04 am
! The other L word!
Hm. Well it could be you just need more time to get used to the concept. It could be in time you will grow more accustomed to it and be able to use the word more.
Since your relationship with her is still relatively new and it's been ingrained into most of us that saying I love you to someone else is like an ultimate betrayal to a partner there could still be a bit of that social programing to get around before you're fully comfortable with it.
It could simply be too soon for you to tell her you love her. While you may believe it's true, saying it out loud tends to feel more concrete and that keeps a lot of people from saying it despite actually feeling it.
Other than giving it time and giving yourself a change to grow more used to it, there is the option of forcing yourself to say it. However I can see that going one of two ways, if it's forced it could seem more of a chore and something that is expected rather than something from the heart or it could just get you more comfortable with habitual use. *shrugs*
Either way I would say to talk to your partners about it, particularly your girlfriend. Explain that you do care for her a great deal you're just having trouble verbalizing that right now.
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Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 8:24 am
ninja Quote: Love. I just recently entered my first poly relationship from my mono relationship with my fiance. No worries I and my partner have his blessing of course. While my brain has mostly made the paradigm shift my verbal cortex seems to have missed the memo. stressed When my new partner says "I love you", I find it hard to respond back with an "I love you too". I do love them. Warm, squishy, new relationship energy, shitting rainbows, sparkly eyed, twitterpated love. I just seem to stumble on the words when the time comes for them. Some strange social/verbal tongue twister is tying my poor tongue in a knot. That bugs me. I feel like I am not effectively expressing my affection for my new love. sweatdrop Suggestions on how to untie my confused brain/tongue would be helpful. heart This kind of stuff usually works itself out in the long run. I can understand why it's disconcerting to not be able to express yourself like you want to- but I'd bet 100000000000 gold that they understand and aren't worried about it on their end.
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Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 11:57 am
Esiris This kind of stuff usually works itself out in the long run. I can understand why it's disconcerting to not be able to express yourself like you want to- but I'd bet 100000000000 gold that they understand and aren't worried about it on their end. Thank you Riri but I am not taking that bet, you have insider trading knowledge. rolleyes @ Mameoyashi: Thank you. I think it will work out on its own, it its own time.
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Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 8:35 pm
Blackrose_Knight Thank you Riri but I am not taking that bet, you have insider trading knowledge. rolleyes @ Mameoyashi: Thank you. I think it will work out on its own, it its own time. Most likely, yeah. Haha. But I thought I'd give options anyway. They're nice to have at least.
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Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2011 7:32 am
Yeah, Rosie, these two ladies are full of all sorts of wonderful advice smile
I am kinda tempted to try mailing them both some cookies sometimes heart
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Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2011 9:00 am
Saew Yeah, Rosie, these two ladies are full of all sorts of wonderful advice smile I am kinda tempted to try mailing them both some cookies sometimes heart *is not a lady* sweatdrop
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Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 10:05 am
Esiris Saew Yeah, Rosie, these two ladies are full of all sorts of wonderful advice smile I am kinda tempted to try mailing them both some cookies sometimes heart *is not a lady* sweatdrop I'm sorry Riri, habit from my upbringing. And a little bit of my ignorance still working on being corrected when I'm not at work. (Still sorting out the non-binary thing) To me feminine presentation (in this case, female avatar) means lady until proven otherwise. In either case, you are quite noble and I'm proud to call you friend smile
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Posted: Tue Mar 15, 2011 10:13 am
Saew I'm sorry Riri, habit from my upbringing. And a little bit of my ignorance still working on being corrected when I'm not at work. (Still sorting out the non-binary thing) To me feminine presentation (in this case, female avatar) means lady until proven otherwise. In either case, you are quite noble and I'm proud to call you friend smile No problem Sweets.
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Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 11:18 pm
Esiris Saew Yeah, Rosie, these two ladies are full of all sorts of wonderful advice smile I am kinda tempted to try mailing them both some cookies sometimes heart *is not a lady* sweatdrop No but you are a super amazing awesome loverly person. heart
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