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Warning, this is going to be long and sort of sullen. If you don't watch Supernatural, you probably won't get it. If you do watch Supernatural but you haven't been keeping up with season 6, spoilers will be in this thread. I just want it off my chest.
I have loved Sam from the pilot. With floppy hair, big eyes, killer smile and such a sweet personality, he won me over. I love Dean too, but in a different way, the obvious second favourite. But what drew me in most, was the close bond these brothers had, which the first 3 seasons put so much focus on. These two were a team. And then we got season 4.
A lot of the season really jarred me. I felt physically uncomfortable at times, wondering if I was watching the same characters. But, I would be given glimpses of hope and he spurred me on. I continued watching. Until Levee. Levee just about broke me heart. Time has healed it, and I can look at the episode with a more detached eye, but for me, it's still a sore episode. I was nervous about season 5, but I clung to bare hope.
I watched a few episodes before I fled. I felt sick at the shattering of brotherly bonds, of that close relationship. I knew it would be leading to an overall point, but that didn't help. I felt they were violating the main reasons I watched the show in the first place - Sam and the bonds of brotherhood.
But, I did mellow over time. I didn't watch episodes as they aired, but I did keep up with the happenings. A few weeks after the season ended, I played catch-up. I still found some episodes hard to stomach, but since I had kept up, I knew what to expect. I found Swan Song to be fairly satisying. Not perfect, but it gave me true glimpses of the brothers I once loved.
This season, it feels like season 5 all over again, yet somehow worse. This episode was such a punch in the stomach. I can't yet tell which is worse for me, this Live Free of Twi-Hard, or Levee. They've stripped away the protective, caring, big brother Dean and the adult, but still adoring Sammy, and replaced them with strangers.
I'm all for character evolution. Sam probably would depend less on Dean, after a year without him, and Dean actually had a son to place some pent up protective issues on. But you can never abandon who you are completely. Yet this episode showed that at the very least, Sam has. Sam is once again, the fall for a series.
Now, I've read some very promising ideas as too why, all of them revolving around it not actually being Sam. But the thing is, it's too late. It doesn't matter what the ultimate goal of this season is, thats its a noir, or anything. People will now hate Sam and see all possible chance and true reconciliation between the brothers as dead.
2 seasons of it drained people. Even if its early days and we were meant to be building to something, this was the wrong thing to start with. People still felt too shaky. Viewings have been low this season. I don't think people can bare to watch more episodes like this.
I never expected anything instant. I knew Sam had been in hell, no matter how brief it was. He was bound to be closed up. I could have dealt with uncertain Sam and worried Dean. I can't deal with cold Sam, the only a hunter Sam, and the victim Dean, not again.
For now, my fix will be from fanfiction, as I will not be watching any further episodes this season. Perhaps time will mellow me again, but for now, I feel too raw.
Sorry if this was all too backround orientated for this thread. I felt I needed to explain where the rollarcoaster has left me
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