Memoirs of None (Reglare Excile) Part 1 | Page 1 | Writing: Prose | Guild Forums

Reglare Excile

Friendly Warlord

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Posted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 11:32 pm

"Years have passed then. . . years have passed since that day I was first needed in a war that told me truths. . . I was a coward then, even with my position as an elite. It was that war that got me to see things right. It was that gave me reason to move on and make this world right."

"Captain, the Erezians have breached the fourth wall! The 5th infantry has also fallen down!" a tower guard reported as their city and their castle of walls was now falling down. It was the time that the city of Unsail, and other cities fell in a single night as a treacherous nation attacked. Dead bodies littered the street as fire consumed the city.

He was running, running as he knew as well what the Erezian hands could do to him. He was not alone then, other cowards were running as well as their defense fell and the city was almost devoured by silence. He continued to run then, but then he got to notice someone by an alley. It was a sight he didn't actually expect but then it was there as he then stood still.
(to be continued)

Posted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 8:11 am

Are you just updating this on a semi daily basis when ever inspiration hits you?

Isn't pass supposed to be spelt passed in the first sentence?

Quote:

It was what that gave me reason to move on and make this world right.

Unless I'm delirious on no sleep (completely possible whee ) I don't think that the what and the that work together in that sentence.

love the name Erezians blaugh

Question - Is Unsail the city that he is currently fighting in or was it a more important city like the capital thousands of miles away?

Kasi Karra
Crew

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Reglare Excile

Friendly Warlord

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Posted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 7:40 pm

Kasi Karra

Are you just updating this on a semi daily basis when ever inspiration hits you?

Isn't pass supposed to be spelt passed in the first sentence?

Quote:

It was what that gave me reason to move on and make this world right.

Unless I'm delirious on no sleep (completely possible whee ) I don't think that the what and the that work together in that sentence.

love the name Erezians blaugh

Question - Is Unsail the city that he is currently fighting in or was it a more important city like the capital thousands of miles away?

I update it when I remember. x3
The other guilds keep on making it farther. @_@

Darn, wrong grammar struck again. x3

Unsail is the city he is in, it is the city he fights for. :3

Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2010 11:51 am

lol, so is this all based off some rp that's being attempted in another guild else where?

lol, gotta love the grammar issues :3

Quote:

He was running, running as he knew as well what the Erezian hands could do to him

there were a few too many words after the second running

on the next sentence I would put a comma after as well, or something cause the first time I read it I read other cowards and their defense were running as suddenly their defense fell instead of ran *dizzy*
After that I would leave the word almost out. Giving the city a defeaning silence except for the sound of burning wood or some other quiet ominous sound will give a little more weight to the situation.

You say that he continued to run, but did he ever stop running before that?

He had the privilege of noticing someone in the alley? Or he just happened to notice someone?

Kasi Karra
Crew

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Reglare Excile

Friendly Warlord

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Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2010 3:51 pm

Kasi Karra

lol, so is this all based off some rp that's being attempted in another guild else where?

lol, gotta love the grammar issues :3

Quote:

He was running, running as he knew as well what the Erezian hands could do to him

there were a few too many words after the second running

on the next sentence I would put a comma after as well, or something cause the first time I read it I read other cowards and their defense were running as suddenly their defense fell instead of ran *dizzy*
After that I would leave the word almost out. Giving the city a defeaning silence except for the sound of burning wood or some other quiet ominous sound will give a little more weight to the situation.

You say that he continued to run, but did he ever stop running before that?

He had the privilege of noticing someone in the alley? Or he just happened to notice someone?

Nah, it's based on a thought that keeps on going around my head. x3

I'll try getting through that. :3

Posted: Mon Aug 16, 2010 5:30 pm

Darn, forgot about it. @_@
Also, writing a short story for a mini-magazine some students want to publish so I got hooked to that other story.

Reglare Excile

Friendly Warlord

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Kasi Karra
Crew

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Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2010 7:59 pm

lol, np I know how busy writers can be :3

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