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 Posted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 4:31 pm
I'm in need of advice. So, my sister and brother live in NYC while I'm in Mass with my parents. They're both out of college and in the working world (my siblings). I haven't been down to the city to visit my sister like ever. Been 2 years and i haven't gotten a chance. I hate traveling with my mom. Hate it. So, the deal was I could go alone if I brought a friend and my best friend Lauren was really happy to accept. We've been planning this weekend for weeks. I work a full time job at a day care during the summer with infants and toddlers for 40 hours a week. I appreciate my breaks.
Here comes the problem. My brother just moved down there. He just got an apartment and a lot of his stuff is still up here in Mass. My parents are now trying to plan a time to go down there and guess what? they want to go on my weekend. At first they were talking going up Sunday morning and just hanging with my brother and moving him in then leaving that night with Lauren and I. Now because of the problem of how they're getting stuff there (they couldn't rent a van for that weekend) they're thinking of a Pod. In addition, now they're talking coming down with us Friday and STAYING AT MY SISTER'S APARTMENT WITH LAUREN AND I then going back Saturday after they move my brother in.
Am i overreacting? My parents are telling me I'm being selfish. I just think it's rotten and I'm mad. It's not fair. They know this thing has been planned for weeks. So frustrated and iI've just had it. Please help ATG. God knows I need it.
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Posted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 6:51 pm
Just tell them that they're smothering you, and that your brother can wait for his stuff.
There was a reason he and your sister moved away...
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Posted: Thu Jul 01, 2010 3:00 pm
I agree with Arc, and if that doesn't get them to back off than try to make some kind of compromise, but make sure you stand your ground while making this compromise. 3nodding
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Posted: Fri Jul 02, 2010 12:44 pm
Just say you need your time away from them.
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Posted: Fri Jul 02, 2010 12:52 pm
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Posted: Fri Jul 02, 2010 10:36 pm
You're not mad, you're angry. >_>
From what I know, the best method for persuasion is to be calm when speaking your thoughts and not raising your voice or shouting.
I don't think you're being selfish, but life can really just change up on you. I'm not sure I understand why they can't take care of the moving of things on another weekend. Did they have a good reason?
In the end, you'll probably just have to go along with whatever your parents decide on the matter. Just roll with it, after you make/made your persuasion attempts, and prepare for future opportunities to visit your sister. I'm sure they'll be other opportunities, right?
I hope you make the best of the time you'll have other there.
I'm still confused over why they'd need to go on the weekend you planned if they had a lot of notice beforehand. What's the reasoning? Does it save money, or something?
Hrm...
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Jafthasleftthebuilding Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 8:11 am
The reasoning was so that my brother doesn't have to wait for his stuff because they can't go up this weekend because of 4th of July.
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Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2010 1:33 pm
I actually don't understand what you just typed. >_>
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Jafthasleftthebuilding Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Jul 05, 2010 3:29 pm
Jaft I actually don't understand what you just typed. >_>
in other words, her parents couldn't travel with her brothers belongings because of the holiday weekend.
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Posted: Mon Jul 05, 2010 4:23 pm
Tell them you just want some time to yourself, and that you'd really appreciate having a little time away with people your own age. Ask them if they could find somewhere else to stay or at least let you have one day by yourself as a compromise.
-Formerly La Belle Isolde-
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Posted: Tue Aug 10, 2010 3:39 pm
They are making it into a family affair in a bit. I agree you need to communicate how you feel and all to them. Maybe they can go down the next weekend.
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Posted: Tue Aug 10, 2010 8:45 pm
If your parents are going to visit your brother and make a weekend of it you SHOULD hold true and firm with your ground that you DON'T want them to spend the time with you. They are grown up and they can rent a hotel in the worst case scenario. As for the brother's stuff, I'm sure he can get by with the bare essentials, move what's mandatory first and shuttle the excess things at a later date if they need to. Making you pull up the slack on the weekend you set aside it just wrong.
I agree with Jaft that you have to remain calm and level while talking to the folks with this. State your point and tell them EXACTLY what you won't do, then tell them the things that are flexible. If they don't yield, or at the very least compromise they are just trying to smother.
Good luck with your weekend and I hope that everything works out of you, your brother and sister, and Lauren. *Hugs*
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