bad nostalgia

[jason the evil sunflower]

im bored, its 3:30am, its whine-time.

Does anyone ever get that sort of like, weird kind-of happiness sort of emotion when you remember something from a while ago, but there are so many bad memories attached to it that you can't really feel happy thinking about it?

I don't know, I'm going through a strange kind of time in my life right now. I feel like I only realized yesterday that I am literally 20 years old but I am officially going NOWHERE in terms of life. I have no education, I'm planning to go to college and get some qualification in something, but I feel like by this age I should already know what I want to do with my life in terms of a career.

Thinking about when I was young and stuff its just weird. They are nice memories, sure, but in hindsight I am seriously sickened by how little I cared, lol. Like srsly. I ******** my whole life up just for the sake of having some 'fun' and its like wahmbulance

Ps sorry if this is a downer, just felt like venting a bit. The fact theres a vague chance someone might read it makes a little more comforting, haha. emo  

[The_Meow_Machine]

I sometimes get that feeling too.
I don't really know how I can comfort you. But I don't think even at 30 you have to know what your career is gonna be. I'd just explore things that I might enjoy having a job at. There's plenty of time to get your life "going somewhere".
Sometimes circumstances around people shape their behavior and actions. It's ok to have fun, especially if you're dealing with a lot of hard things in your life, and trying to get away from them.
The way I think about it is that you still are getting life experience from having fun and going wild. So in a way, you are moving farther in your life.  

[Gordums]

You need to live in order to know what you want to be.
There's no harm in not knowing what you want, especially at such a young age as 20.

 

[Rainbow Bracelets II]

The past is the past. All that matters is you're doing something now.

Ten years from now it's not going to matter really if you started when you were 16 or 20. Either way your life will be straightened out by then and you'll be successful and happy. (And rich& famous of course).