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 Posted: Mon Apr 05, 2010 3:23 pm
Just so you know, I'm currently not in a polyamorous relationship. It's a very open one though and neither of us emotionally relate to jealousy. My lover and I are thinking of having a threesome and it's likely going to be a one-time thing. My question is this:
Beyond health issues and precautions (e.g. condoms), are there any specific things I should look out for in a threesome?
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Posted: Mon Apr 05, 2010 4:37 pm
Well, work out what is and isn't okay beforehand, what your limits are and what you're willing to do. While it may seem to detract from things at the start, it's better than someone trying something in the heat of the moment and killing things half-way through (and possibly offending or upsetting someone).
Otherwise, just realize that depending how things go someone may feel left out at one point or another and the others may not necessarily notice. Everyone also should be at least a little conscious of what's going on and try not to leave anyone out, but realize it happens sometimes. In these cases really it is up to the person feeling left out to join in on their own.
Personally I would recommend getting tested for STIs first, but that's just personal preference and because I'm a bit skiddish and like to take lots and lots of precautions when it comes to that sort of thing.
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Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 9:33 am
I'm quite sure we'll go over limitations and health issues beforehand since that's pretty much my regular habit with new sex partners.
As for feeling left out, that's a good point and I'll try to keep that in mind. Is this likely to happen in a threesome with two males and one female, though? I was thinking it might not be a huge issue since the female has uhh.... multiple female "ends".
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Posted: Tue Apr 06, 2010 12:50 pm
It happens sometimes no matter the configuration. It depends on the various positions and whatnot (don't want to go into details, still Gaia and all >.<), but there have been instances where people can feel left out. It may not happen, and if not, awesome biggrin But it is something to at least keep in mind.
You may want to consider too what happens when one of you 'finishes' before the other two (especially in the case of one person finishing *long* before the other two), how will things continue from there and little things like that.
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Posted: Thu Apr 08, 2010 10:46 pm
Hmmm... will do. As for one guy finishing much faster than the other, what would you recommend? eek I'm a bit wary about teasing after finishing because it can get a bit sensitive.
You're bringing in questions I never even thought of, which is great.
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Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 12:02 pm
It's really up to you what happens. Some people prefer if the person who finished leaves the room (because some people aren't comfortable with a voyeur who isn't going to participate). Some people don't mind if the person who finished just sits and watches the rest of it. Others don't mind the person being in the room but would prefer if that person does something else to occupy his- or herself (such as going on the computer, reading a book) so as not to be a voyeur directly. So you really should just talk to one another and figure out what you would be most comfortable with.
There was something else but I've forgotten >.< Sorry, I'll probably think of it later on.
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Posted: Wed Apr 14, 2010 7:54 pm
Well, if it's a voyeur issue, I don't think my lover or I will have a problem with it. I was more concerned with leaving whoever finishes faster out once he's done.
Oh, and do you think that the fact that I'm more of a sub during sex would cause any problems?
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Posted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 9:40 am
Then really just discuss how everyone would feel if they were the one to finish first, ask what everyone would be most comfortable with.
As for your subness.... not really. But I suppose it might depending on the tendencies of the other two you're with. Again, just talk about it and work it out.
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