What do you do when...?

[Obasa Reisan]

...Alright. The kids at my school aren't very...accepting. Niether, really, are MOST of the teachers. There's always some issue or another with somebody, and no one's letting me and my girlfriend alone. We're either being harrassed, prodded, or pitied. It was easy enough to ignore everything and everyone in the beginning, but I'm starting to snap and I don't think I'll be able to last much longer before I completely lose my temper. I need some advice. A lot of it.

What do you do when:

1) Your mother, who loves you and wants you to be happy, is trying to convince you to just "be friends" with the person you've just celebrated your anniversary with a day ago? Who happens to make you the happiest living being on the planet?

2) Your father has no idea of your sexuality or your relationship, and you want to tell him badly but are afraid to because he's a pretty controversal Republican?

3) You were already socially awkward except for a few close friends, and now people are steering clear of you more often than before? (This would not bother me too much, except none of my friends take any of my classes with me--even lunch. I'm always surrounded by those who'd just rather walk away.)

4) A new girl you've met only 4 days before is preaching to you, telling you that God created a man and a woman, and that God made you a woman (in my case), and that I shouldn't let science or the media influence me in any way, and that God will forgive me for my sin? (This was an annoying and sad experience. I thought she might understand.)

5) You burst out crying in front of your girlfriend, who wants to help you but doesn't know how, and you, not wanting to worry her, try to stay away?

6) Your teachers harshly jugde you when they watch you hug excesivley in the hallway?

7) Your younger brother, whom you have been best friends with since you were in diapers, is pulling you away from your partner and saying awful, mean things about her, both to her and in front of you?

Seems the logical thing would be to stand up for myself, isn't it? ...I'm not very good at that. *sigh* Seems everyone's very opinionated about this subject...

I think I may also post this in the thread. What do you think?  

[faint old rhyme]

1) Sit her down when you both have some time and you're both in a good mood, and explain that you really love her and you can't be "just friends", the same way she can't simple be "just friends" with your first. Also, show her this link: http://www.bidstrup.com/parents.htm

2) It would be unwise to tell him until you are no longer living in his house. Yes, you may want to tell him very badly, but if worse comes to worst, he could kick you out, try to 'reform' you, disown you (either emotionally or for real), etc. It's safer to keep it hidden until you can be independent from him so he can't have an effect on you.

3) Let em. You can't force someone to like you, unfortunately. If they're gonna judge you for having a girlfriend, then they're not worth being your friend anyway. You can do better.

4) Tell her that you respect her opinion, but to please stop saying it to you - since you respect hers, you expect her to respect your own. If she continues to harass you, report her to the dean/some authoritative figure.

5) Don't try to stay away. She's obviously already concerned. You two are a team - lean on her shoulder, and later on if she's ever feeling upset or needs help, she'll be able to lean on yours. I know it's difficult, but you two gotta work through this together.

6) Let them. I'm assuming your PDA is just hugging - because tbh, I (and most people) dislike PDA with any genders if it's kissing etc.

7) Same advice for your mom - sit him down and talk to him seriously. Say that it's your choice to be with this girl and you don't appreciate his comments. Say that you really value him as a brother, but how he is acting is very rude and he should have respect for you (and in turn, you'll have respect for him). If he STILL persists and you can't do anything about it, try to just ignore him.

Sure, post this in the thread too - someone else may be able to respond then. These problems are ones that many LGBTQ people have to deal with daily, and it sucks, but you (and everyone else) will be able to work through it (: