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Call Me Apple Vice Captain
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 Posted: Sat Nov 21, 2009 12:19 am
This topic is about helping the brothers and sisters who WANT to be pious Muslims but are struggling. Those who are going to mixed gender clubs, drinking, gambling and dressing VERY immodestly (like mini skirts and tank tops)  What are some ways we can help them get back on the halal path without "getting on the soapbox"?
Have you had experience with helping others enrich their life with Allah (swt)?
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Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 6:48 pm
Personally, I find the best way is to set a good example, and then explain my reasons for doing so. For example, if they tell you about a great club they are going to, say "I don't go to clubs because I feel being provocative and flirting around the opposite sex conflicts with Islam". Or go on a casual shopping day with a friend that is wearing mini-skirts etc, and when they show you something that you feel is immodest, say "I couldn't wear that- it's not very modest, you know?".
That way, you're pointing out what is and is not acceptable, and giving reasons based in Islam, but by talking about your own practices and not theirs, you avoid making them feel attacked.
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Call Me Apple Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 10:20 pm
Majnooni Personally, I find the best way is to set a good example, and then explain my reasons for doing so. For example, if they tell you about a great club they are going to, say "I don't go to clubs because I feel being provocative and flirting around the opposite sex conflicts with Islam". Or go on a casual shopping day with a friend that is wearing mini-skirts etc, and when they show you something that you feel is immodest, say "I couldn't wear that- it's not very modest, you know?". That way, you're pointing out what is and is not acceptable, and giving reasons based in Islam, but by talking about your own practices and not theirs, you avoid making them feel attacked. Yeah, i think I feel I "attack" them >< But I have good intentions, i just feel as if i'm on a soapbox and that is NOT how I want it to seem. I'm so bad at being subtle -.- I need to work on it.
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Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 12:33 am
I do feel it's better to be gentle, but don't worry too much. Just as you have a responsibility to be understanding toward people struggling to be better Muslims, they have a responsibility to be understanding toward you and try to take guidance in the spirit it is meant.
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Posted: Wed Dec 02, 2009 10:18 am
Assalamualaykum,
Well knowing how the current population is today, it's very common for me to deal with such people. Because unfortunately most people don't pray these days, among Muslims. I know that as a fact just by seeing the young people in my university, that has a population of 6000+ and they are busy doing something else, which many a times is haram like dating in a wrong way and flirting around. No you can't always go with all of them or even most of them on a shopping trip, and also what if it's the opposite gender. So no that is not practical most of the times.
I personally would just address them PRIVATELY in a gentle and polite manner Insha'Allah, so that they don't feel I'm trying to insult them. You have to show your concern for them, that you only want their benefit. Normally it depends on the person, to what level they have strayed. If you ask me, I'd say the best approach is to focus on the most important and key aspects, and not start on every details of where they are going wrong, and gradually build up to other lesser important issues. Like if a person does not pray, I call him/her to start praying instead of just telling you shouldn't wear revealing clothes like that. If they ask I'd answer, but I'd focus on what's more important so that it does not seem difficult to them. I believe if Insha'Allah someone starts performing Salaah regularly with the proper intentions and sincerity, they are automatically Guided by Allah (swt) to refrain from other evil, we can just offer them a helping hand when they need it Insha'Allah. smile
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Posted: Thu Dec 03, 2009 4:27 pm
Even some of the Muslims at school dress immodestly...Like they wear mini skirts and tanks...which makes me wonder if the parents even care or even mind some of the rules
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