What really ticks you off?

[JapanCandys]

things that piss me off

people who wear normal clothing, but like lolita, and they THINK they are lolita just cause they LIKE IT

bleck

people who are lolita and rub it in someones face

so in other words, i hate posers!

idk just bleck...people gonk  

[JapanCandys]

Minoma Tears

I hate it when people look down on you because you like lolita.
I mean when I told my mom she was like :
"THAT'S what YOU want you WEAR? I don't think ANYONE can pull of the look."
That's not fair! It's better than wallking around in those shorts that don't cover anything!
Oops, I'm venting again.

~ heart ~

my mom hates my style soooo much she makes my friends cry whenever she nags me about how little lolita hats are not excepted in society

i love lolita, visual kei, and steampunk, but i cant ever leave the house with out her making me take off something "out of the norm!!!" i hate her to death sad

she obviously doesnt get the fact that im OUT OF THE NORM AND LOVING IT!!!

she wants me to grow up and look like her!
well im not going to be a fat, plain, ugly, horrible mother like she is!

pppff!!! emo  

[LittleWitchBitch]

JapanCandys

things that piss me off

people who wear normal clothing, but like lolita, and they THINK they are lolita just cause they LIKE IT

bleck

people who are lolita and rub it in someones face

so in other words, i hate posers!

idk just bleck...people gonk

No offense, but I honestly don't see why girls calling themselves lolita is a problem, even if they don't own it.
Maybe they can't afford it.
Maybe they're working on it.
Maybe they just can't bring themselves to wear it out in public.
If in their head, they are a lolita, and they love the frills and would wear it if [insert reason here] it's safe to say they are a lolita, even if it's just the mindset.

At least in my opinion.  

[spuntino]

Human-Clad Monster

No offense, but I honestly don't see why girls calling themselves lolita is a problem, even if they don't own it.
Maybe they can't afford it.
Maybe they're working on it.
Maybe they just can't bring themselves to wear it out in public.
If in their head, they are a lolita, and they love the frills and would wear it if [insert reason here] it's safe to say they are a lolita, even if it's just the mindset.

At least in my opinion.

I actually agree with JapanCandys on that point, though not because I think they're "poseurs" or anything of the like. It's just not how the style works. I've seen a lot of people go through the "I feel like a lolita, thus I am a lolita!" routine over the years. A lot of people get bent out of shape when they're told that they're not a lolita unless they wear lolita, but it's just ... well. Common sense.

Lolita is a fashion, not a mindset. There is no cohesive "way of lolita" that everyone into the style adheres to. Some lolitas live a lifestyle, but almost every single one of them has a different take on what that lifestyle should be. The unifying feature, the key to that line is that they wear the clothes as a part of that lifestyle. Otherwise, you're just living your life as you would have always done. And if you've changed your lifestyle to be "more lolita", then you probably need to see a shrink and work out some self-esteem issues.

There is no single doctrine, manifesto or creed for being a lolita beyond the definition that we wear a Japanese street fashion. Even in Japan there is no real unifying factor beyond the clothes; if anything, they're even more shallow about it than we are.

Lolita isn't a true subculture by definition, because we have no political or social cause, no unifying body of literature recognized beyond our sphere or even a true classification of music that we can call "ours" (because lolita-wearing musicians are either classified in other genres or are only using the fashion as a gimmick to draw a following). We have so much variety in background and tastes when it comes to all things unrelated to the clothes that it's impossible to call lolita a cohesive movement beyond the style of the outfits we wear.

But that's good. It really is.

One of the great things about the fashion is that every lolita lives differently, according to her (or his) own tastes. Every lolita has a different reason for wearing the clothing, has a different "feel" that they are going for. We don't have to shoehorn ourselves into a stereotype. However, this makes saying "I'm a lolita because I feel like one!" incredibly silly and shallow. So you feel like a girl wearing a frilly dress, even though you're in jeans and a t-shirt? How do you know what a lolita feels like if you've never put on her clothes? Do you see what I mean?

I have the same bias against people who say they were "born in the wrong era" and wish they had been a Victorian woman. How do you know unless you've experienced it? You can read about it all you want, and fantasize, but that doesn't make it real.

In the end, lolita's clothing.

It's not a magical transformation or spiritual enlightenment. If you're not wearing it, saying you're a lolita just doesn't work. It's like saying you're a cosplayer, even though you've never put on a costume. Or saying you're a goth "because you feel dark and brooding". There's more to it than just a "mood" or "feeling". I know that a lot of people who are new to the fashion or fans of it get really upset about this point, but it's just how it works. It's not a matter of elitism, brandwhoring or snobbery like a lot of people think, either. It's just common sense.

TL; DR: You can't be something without actually participating in its key defining feature: and with lolita, that key defining feature is the clothing, whether handmade, offbrand or otherwise. If you have never worn it, for any reason at all, you simply are a fan of the fashion.
 

[LittleWitchBitch]

spuntino

Human-Clad Monster

No offense, but I honestly don't see why girls calling themselves lolita is a problem, even if they don't own it.
Maybe they can't afford it.
Maybe they're working on it.
Maybe they just can't bring themselves to wear it out in public.
If in their head, they are a lolita, and they love the frills and would wear it if [insert reason here] it's safe to say they are a lolita, even if it's just the mindset.

At least in my opinion.

I actually agree with JapanCandys on that point, though not because I think they're "poseurs" or anything of the like. It's just not how the style works. I've seen a lot of people go through the "I feel like a lolita, thus I am a lolita!" routine over the years. A lot of people get bent out of shape when they're told that they're not a lolita unless they wear lolita, but it's just ... well. Common sense.

Lolita is a fashion, not a mindset. There is no cohesive "way of lolita" that everyone into the style adheres to. Some lolitas live a lifestyle, but almost every single one of them has a different take on what that lifestyle should be. The unifying feature, the key to that line is that they wear the clothes as a part of that lifestyle. Otherwise, you're just living your life as you would have always done. And if you've changed your lifestyle to be "more lolita", then you probably need to see a shrink and work out some self-esteem issues.

There is no single doctrine, manifesto or creed for being a lolita beyond the definition that we wear a Japanese street fashion. Even in Japan there is no real unifying factor beyond the clothes; if anything, they're even more shallow about it than we are.

Lolita isn't a true subculture by definition, because we have no political or social cause, no unifying body of literature recognized beyond our sphere or even a true classification of music that we can call "ours" (because lolita-wearing musicians are either classified in other genres or are only using the fashion as a gimmick to draw a following). We have so much variety in background and tastes when it comes to all things unrelated to the clothes that it's impossible to call lolita a cohesive movement beyond the style of the outfits we wear.

But that's good. It really is.

One of the great things about the fashion is that every lolita lives differently, according to her (or his) own tastes. Every lolita has a different reason for wearing the clothing, has a different "feel" that they are going for. We don't have to shoehorn ourselves into a stereotype. However, this makes saying "I'm a lolita because I feel like one!" incredibly silly and shallow. So you feel like a girl wearing a frilly dress, even though you're in jeans and a t-shirt? How do you know what a lolita feels like if you've never put on her clothes? Do you see what I mean?

I have the same bias against people who say they were "born in the wrong era" and wish they had been a Victorian woman. How do you know unless you've experienced it? You can read about it all you want, and fantasize, but that doesn't make it real.

In the end, lolita's clothing.

It's not a magical transformation or spiritual enlightenment. If you're not wearing it, saying you're a lolita just doesn't work. It's like saying you're a cosplayer, even though you've never put on a costume. Or saying you're a goth "because you feel dark and brooding". There's more to it than just a "mood" or "feeling". I know that a lot of people who are new to the fashion or fans of it get really upset about this point, but it's just how it works. It's not a matter of elitism, brandwhoring or snobbery like a lot of people think, either. It's just common sense.

TL; DR: You can't be something without actually participating in its key defining feature: and with lolita, that key defining feature is the clothing, whether handmade, offbrand or otherwise. If you have never worn it, for any reason at all, you simply are a fan of the fashion.

Damn, you make sense crying
When you think of it that way, I agree with you. I suppose I get defensive because at one point I was so convinced I would be a well dressed lolita and was so wrapped up in it that I called myself a lolita, even if I hadn't really started wearing the clothes, so it takes me back to then, seeing girls wanting to call themselves lolita for the sake of. . . I guess putting themselves a step closer, if that makes sense.

I guess the way she worded it just ticked me off, honestly. I hate that sort of "omg everyone is trying to be like me, POSERRRSSSSS /hand wave" snobbery.  

[spuntino]

Human-Clad Monster

Damn, you make sense crying
When you think of it that way, I agree with you. I suppose I get defensive because at one point I was so convinced I would be a well dressed lolita and was so wrapped up in it that I called myself a lolita, even if I hadn't really started wearing the clothes, so it takes me back to then, seeing girls wanting to call themselves lolita for the sake of. . . I guess putting themselves a step closer, if that makes sense.

I guess the way she worded it just ticked me off, honestly. I hate that sort of "omg everyone is trying to be like me, POSERRRSSSSS /hand wave" snobbery.

I do try to do that. Make sense, I mean. ^^;

And I understand, which is why I clarified a different point of view on the matter. Not all of us get up in arms over these sorts of things. I never personally went through the stage of wanting-to-be and saying-I-was without the clothing (I did go through a phase of wanting-to-be, and making-things-that-so-totally-were-not), but I know a lot of people do. Like I said, it's a sore spot for many, and an unfortunate one because how those people are treated often colors their experiences with other lolitas, and can breed that "anti-elitist" mindset.
 

[spuntino]

Kittywitch

On the subject of phasing into lolita, and liking lolita but not owning much of it yet; is there a word for that stage? It's not the same thing as a poser, unless of course they say that they are hardcore lolita, or hardcore goth; unless of course they are one. I think I've been watching too much Flying Circus and it's effecting my speech patterns; forgive me if I ramble.

In any case, I'm coming to suspect I'm not lolita at all, but neo-Victorian.

Not really a specific term, no. You're just new to the style and like it. Does it really need a label? heh

I also want to re-emphasize: there is nothing wrong with that. Liking the fashion, but not being able to wear it (for whatever reason) is not something to be ashamed of, or try to hide. This guild is for people who enjoy lolita, not just people who live and breathe the fashion on a daily basis.

I mean. Everybody has to start somewhere.
 

[JapanCandys]

Just know-it-alls. I'm kinda dealing with one right now cat_scream

I know this one girl right now who is in school for fashion design, and shes a regular in the lolita forums/blogs, so she thinks she can talk down to me about lolita stuff.

I am an amuture designer still finishing high school and I've been sewing for more than 4 years. She calls my dresses "lace monsters" and yet she can't sew or draw for poop cat_lol

Infact she hired me to design and sew her some lolita stuff.

All shes really doing right now is smoking large amounts of pot with her new boyfriend

...but still....

know-it-alls really piss me off

 

[JapanCandys]

spuntino

Human-Clad Monster

No offense, but I honestly don't see why girls calling themselves lolita is a problem, even if they don't own it.
Maybe they can't afford it.
Maybe they're working on it.
Maybe they just can't bring themselves to wear it out in public.
If in their head, they are a lolita, and they love the frills and would wear it if [insert reason here] it's safe to say they are a lolita, even if it's just the mindset.

At least in my opinion.

I actually agree with JapanCandys on that point, though not because I think they're "poseurs" or anything of the like. It's just not how the style works. I've seen a lot of people go through the "I feel like a lolita, thus I am a lolita!" routine over the years. A lot of people get bent out of shape when they're told that they're not a lolita unless they wear lolita, but it's just ... well. Common sense.

Lolita is a fashion, not a mindset. There is no cohesive "way of lolita" that everyone into the style adheres to. Some lolitas live a lifestyle, but almost every single one of them has a different take on what that lifestyle should be. The unifying feature, the key to that line is that they wear the clothes as a part of that lifestyle. Otherwise, you're just living your life as you would have always done. And if you've changed your lifestyle to be "more lolita", then you probably need to see a shrink and work out some self-esteem issues.

There is no single doctrine, manifesto or creed for being a lolita beyond the definition that we wear a Japanese street fashion. Even in Japan there is no real unifying factor beyond the clothes; if anything, they're even more shallow about it than we are.

Lolita isn't a true subculture by definition, because we have no political or social cause, no unifying body of literature recognized beyond our sphere or even a true classification of music that we can call "ours" (because lolita-wearing musicians are either classified in other genres or are only using the fashion as a gimmick to draw a following). We have so much variety in background and tastes when it comes to all things unrelated to the clothes that it's impossible to call lolita a cohesive movement beyond the style of the outfits we wear.

But that's good. It really is.

One of the great things about the fashion is that every lolita lives differently, according to her (or his) own tastes. Every lolita has a different reason for wearing the clothing, has a different "feel" that they are going for. We don't have to shoehorn ourselves into a stereotype. However, this makes saying "I'm a lolita because I feel like one!" incredibly silly and shallow. So you feel like a girl wearing a frilly dress, even though you're in jeans and a t-shirt? How do you know what a lolita feels like if you've never put on her clothes? Do you see what I mean?

I have the same bias against people who say they were "born in the wrong era" and wish they had been a Victorian woman. How do you know unless you've experienced it? You can read about it all you want, and fantasize, but that doesn't make it real.

In the end, lolita's clothing.

It's not a magical transformation or spiritual enlightenment. If you're not wearing it, saying you're a lolita just doesn't work. It's like saying you're a cosplayer, even though you've never put on a costume. Or saying you're a goth "because you feel dark and brooding". There's more to it than just a "mood" or "feeling". I know that a lot of people who are new to the fashion or fans of it get really upset about this point, but it's just how it works. It's not a matter of elitism, brandwhoring or snobbery like a lot of people think, either. It's just common sense.

TL; DR: You can't be something without actually participating in its key defining feature: and with lolita, that key defining feature is the clothing, whether handmade, offbrand or otherwise. If you have never worn it, for any reason at all, you simply are a fan of the fashion.

aww i guess you must hate me cause I always say things like "i think i was born in the wrong era, im really a victorian woman" cause i also make corsets

i have worn corsets like they did. It hurts, but i like it lol

but yeah i do say that a lot sweatdrop

i just have an unhealthy love for corsets in general. I think if i was born in that time, i would be a corset designer

heh

 

[Sakura Latte]

Out of curiosity, if a person's getting into lolita and all they have so far are the shoes (or other lolita accessories) and they're still saving up money for the dresses, can they call themselves a lolita since they own a lolita item? Or would they have to own more than 2 lolita items before they can even officially call themselves lolita?  

[Lady Cecilie]

I have two new pet peeves. Most my old ones don't bother me anymore.

My first is the phrase, "Why spend so much money on a dress your going to wear to conventions only?"

The other is when cosplayers begin thinking Lolita is cute and decide that they are going to make a their character wear Lolita but they are just wearing a strapless semi formal. It would be really nice if they would ask their Lolita friends about it or at least do a little bit of research.