i seem to be having yet another one of those nights where my brain will not allow me to simply shut my eyes leave my body go to another place and go the ******** to sleep. I havent had one of these night in over 9 months. Irronically i am watching a movie entitled Fight Club. Why is this irronic you ask. Well if you have watched this movie, and understood it, you will know that much of the premise of this movie is the prolonged effects of insomnia, also known "irronically" as an insomniatic coma where your boy does things that your brain is not telling it to do because it has seaced to work on controlling your body. But enough of that. For those of you who know me, not a single one of you does at least not enough to know this, know that when i cannot sleep i tend to write or type or draw or do anything that people tend to call "creativity". In my case its less of in a creative fashion and more in a demented sociopathing ******** up kind of way. Fortunatelly for all of you who read this...there will be none of that here. I am simply ranting on waiting for the moment when my brain decides "******** IT" and basically shuts down, much like the computer that you are currently using. I am ranting because there has been one question running through my head like a little white ******** mouse on a metal spinning wheel throughout my entire pathetic consumption of air and valued chemicals known simply...as life. AM...I...REALLY...WHO...IM...TOLD...I...AM? All my life ive had dreams and nightmares about things that i myself have never experienced, and all those times i have never been myself. I have had these feelings while im awake and doing any number of things that this is not my body this is not my home...this is not my life...




Am i right, wrong, crazy, stupid, paranoid, or just simply...not...real...

could this life like many others in all types of media be simply an artists rendering of what could be?




If so i ask him or her or whatever created me this...get a life.