Coming out. (Share your stories?)

[LeonJLoire]

My dad envies my freedom. Probably because he enjoys being around women while he also enjoys being married. My mom tried to lay a guilt trip about how it's wrong and how we are being unfaithful to each other. I passed it off as something she would never grasp and left it at that. My male friends think I live the dream. My co-workers think I'm weird or a freak (yay army), except for the doc who actually understand and asks questions out of genuine interest. I don't think her friends know but a few of them will when I get back from deployment. My female friends grasp the concept and are curious about it. And I don't think her family know about it, actually I know they don't.

I've reached the point in my life that while I respect other opinions and feelings, I don't care about how they effect my life. The obvious exception is with my wife and friends. Family I don't give two shits about. My thought it that now that I have moved out, my life is none of their concern. I'll tell them about if if they ask, but their thoughts on it mean nothing to me. They are from a different time period with way different mentalities. But being that I am and always have been the black sheep of the family, I am used to that. We have an understanding now that my life is mine and all they can do is watch.

Her family doesn't know and probably won't. She too is the black sheep from a very old school southern family with very old southern values. I won't tell them because it's it's not for me to tell. They are her family, and my obligation to them is strictly to make their relative happy and healthy. If my wife wants them to know then thats on her, otherwise it's none of my concern. I think it's fair to keep her family and friend life as her responsibility. After all, in that line of things, I did come in second. If she needs help or opinions on her family and friends then I will offer what I can. But she is in command of that vessel.

Thats pretty much it. I don't have much of a social life so my "coming out" wasn't too special.  

[fizznomore]

Our friends have all been wonderfully supportive. I've been so surprised--I thought a few, at least, might be confused or concerned. My live-in partner's sister worries for him and his best friend doesn't really "get it," but our mutual friends and housemates are all great. My non-live-in boyfriend's friends have all been just as supportive. At some stage, I'll tell my mum, but it's not urgent. And those are really the only people who need to know!  

[Elros Namasi]

I came out to my family (mom, dad, brother) concerning my bisexuality several years ago and got 3 different reactions.
Brother: Essentially "lololololololol She's greedy. xD"
Dad: "Uh, why are you telling me? It's none of my business; whatever makes you happy, kiddo."
Mom: "So, you're telling me you're a lesbian!?! I'll never have grandchildren! Dx"

All my friends know because I don't hide it and/or they figured it out for themselves.

My polyamorous relationship with my fiance and our long-time best friends is a fairly recent development. As far as my family goes, only my dad knows. And he didn't even bat an eyelash. He essentially repeated the same thing he said when I told him I was unconcerned with gender. *shrugs* I don't want to tell my mom because I'm not sure how she would react. Then there's the risk of her posting something about it on facebook and it getting back to the families of my loves. ><;;;

We've only told three mutual friends of ours about this unconventional arrangement. I'm pretty positive there are at least a couple other friends who suspect something's going on. The rest have no idea and, in a few cases, all four of us would prefer it if it stayed that way. sweatdrop  

[Sincerely Malicious]

Hi everyone, this is my first time here and I suppose this is the best place to start! heart

My family
None of my family knows. I have broached the subject with my mother, in an indirect way, and she more than let me know how she felt about it (sin against god, unnatural, a man's way of justifying infidelity, blah, blah, blah) and my dad..well, he would assume that it is my boyfriend who 'forced' me into it. Needless to say, that is not the case..regardless, I seriously doubt I will ever come out to my parents. It's not that I am ashamed, it's just that I don't think their fragile conservative minds could really wrap around my partner and I sharing a lover (we are polyfidelous).

My Friends
Everyone knows. I'm not shy about telling people at all, just as long as it doesn't interfere with my boyfriends work (that has a story behind it, just ask and I shall tell biggrin ). Most of our friends think my boyfriend is extremely lucky. biggrin

Everyone Else
Depends on who you mean by 'everyone else'. I don't go around bragging about it, but before we broke up with our girlfriend we had no problems with both of us being openly affectionate with her, and she with us. So yeah, I'd have to say we are out and proud to the general populace.

Thanks for listening! <3  

[SilentSaturn91]

In my case, It turns out Polyamory is genetic in my family OO;

Back in high school I went through so many boyfriends it wasn't funny. I'd be with one guy, fall head over heels for another, still love the first guy but in the end I always had to pick and someone ALWAYS got hurt. I didn't discover i was poly till I reconnected with my biological father (i was adopted) and found out it runs in the family. It started with my grandpa who's 70 years old, doesn't look his age, sails around the globe on the tall ship bounty and has a few girlfriends in different ports around the world xD

Only 3 people in my adoptive family know I'm poly and I intend to keep it that way. I'd be disowned if both families on that side found out. As for friends, They don't care weather I'm poly, bi, or a zebra they love me anyways emotion_awesome  

[Blackrose_Knight]

SilentSaturn91

It started with my grandpa who's 70 years old, doesn't look his age, sails around the globe on the tall ship bounty and has a few girlfriends in different ports around the world xD

The Bounty is a beautiful ship. I can dare say I am envious of your grandpa. Ah, a lass in every port - yup - pirate  

[Salmenella]

I'm not out. I just got into a poly relationship anyways.
Coming out as gay was hard enough. One of these days I'll have to come out as not just poly, but also as a sex worker. Terrified of both.
My girlfriend and her husband aren't out either so it makes things a bit difficult. We can't even be facebook friends because it would confuse people! My friends know, they understood once we explained it. If they agreed or not, they kept to themselves at least.  

[Oxyria]

I've gotten mixed reactions.

Some people can't pry themselves from their own perspective, so they always think, "Oh, but you're going to love someone less." Some of the more douchely guys I work with tell me I'm a slut or a player (if I could pick, I prefer slut).

A lot of my closer friends are poly, but I have a lot of friends by circumstance too, some of whom I've gotten close to. I find there are a lot of people who I've explained it to, who I'll always need to explain it to again.
My mom doesn't really say much about it, and neither does my brother. Not really any judgments, but my mom definitely has her own views on it, saying monogamy is what's, "natural." Not a religious type, just some ingrained cultural beliefs there.

There are a lot of people who I never care to mention it to, but I find myself having some difficulty speaking generally if I have to hide it. It's hard to talk about my life without talking about my partners.

@Salmenella,
You said you're a sex worker? I'd be really interested in talking to you about that if you're up to it. I've been pretty seriously considering getting into that kind of work. I'm also queer (pretty gay) and I'm curious as to how that part works for you. I don't mean to pry, just wondering if you're into sharing.  

[Salmenella]

Oxyria

I've gotten mixed reactions.

Some people can't pry themselves from their own perspective, so they always think, "Oh, but you're going to love someone less." Some of the more douchely guys I work with tell me I'm a slut or a player (if I could pick, I prefer slut).

A lot of my closer friends are poly, but I have a lot of friends by circumstance too, some of whom I've gotten close to. I find there are a lot of people who I've explained it to, who I'll always need to explain it to again.
My mom doesn't really say much about it, and neither does my brother. Not really any judgments, but my mom definitely has her own views on it, saying monogamy is what's, "natural." Not a religious type, just some ingrained cultural beliefs there.

There are a lot of people who I never care to mention it to, but I find myself having some difficulty speaking generally if I have to hide it. It's hard to talk about my life without talking about my partners.

@Salmenella,
You said you're a sex worker? I'd be really interested in talking to you about that if you're up to it. I've been pretty seriously considering getting into that kind of work. I'm also queer (pretty gay) and I'm curious as to how that part works for you. I don't mean to pry, just wondering if you're into sharing.

I actually ended up changing someones view today. They were rigid "monogamy is the only thing that works and anyone who says "do what makes you happy" is stupid because what if murder makes you happy"
After I got done, they apologized. +1 for becoming a sex educator and sexologist!

And I'm an open book. I love talking about my job because it makes it less taboo to other people or at least gives them an insight that we're not all damaged goods and that we don't need saving from other people. SW can save ourselves.

What were you thinking about getting into?
And being queer is a huge part of my career cause I want to educate other sex workers but mainly queer sex workers. It's acting basically. I make them believe they have a chance when they really don't, but at the same time I let them know "I'm queer, you really have no chance"  

[Oxyria]

Salmenella

I actually ended up changing someones view today. They were rigid "monogamy is the only thing that works and anyone who says "do what makes you happy" is stupid because what if murder makes you happy"
After I got done, they apologized. +1 for becoming a sex educator and sexologist!

And I'm an open book. I love talking about my job because it makes it less taboo to other people or at least gives them an insight that we're not all damaged goods and that we don't need saving from other people. SW can save ourselves.

What were you thinking about getting into?
And being queer is a huge part of my career cause I want to educate other sex workers but mainly queer sex workers. It's acting basically. I make them believe they have a chance when they really don't, but at the same time I let them know "I'm queer, you really have no chance"

That's very cool. It's nice to be at a point to be able to just explain it without being confrontational. I find it's easy to feel judged and come at it combatively but it's much nicer to just have an exchange of views and perspectives.

And that's awesome. It's definitely a necessary thing for people to be educated on.

I've had a lot of different thoughts. Considered prostitution, just selling sex. I think I could be comfortable with that depending on how I approach it, but I honestly have pretty much no sexual experience with men so I feel like it could be awkward initially. I'm not really put off by it though. Cisgender men don't really do anything for me and it definitely would be an act. Intellectually I have no problem with any of it though.
On the other hand I've considered films, but not seriously as I'd rather have some discretion and I don't want my image all over the place.
I think it could be interesting to be a domme also, forgoing the whole sex thing altogether. Could be fun, too.
Another idea in a different direction is to start making leather kink gear and harnesses for various clients, which I'm definitely hoping to start doing in the near future.

Considered everything a lot, haven't really jumped into anything yet.
Can I ask what you do? And do you think, being queer, it sometimes makes it more of a challenge to establish those boundaries with clients?  

[Salmenella]

Oxyria

That's very cool. It's nice to be at a point to be able to just explain it without being confrontational. I find it's easy to feel judged and come at it combatively but it's much nicer to just have an exchange of views and perspectives.

And that's awesome. It's definitely a necessary thing for people to be educated on.

I've had a lot of different thoughts. Considered prostitution, just selling sex. I think I could be comfortable with that depending on how I approach it, but I honestly have pretty much no sexual experience with men so I feel like it could be awkward initially. I'm not really put off by it though. Cisgender men don't really do anything for me and it definitely would be an act. Intellectually I have no problem with any of it though.
On the other hand I've considered films, but not seriously as I'd rather have some discretion and I don't want my image all over the place.
I think it could be interesting to be a domme also, forgoing the whole sex thing altogether. Could be fun, too.
Another idea in a different direction is to start making leather kink gear and harnesses for various clients, which I'm definitely hoping to start doing in the near future.

Considered everything a lot, haven't really jumped into anything yet.
Can I ask what you do? And do you think, being queer, it sometimes makes it more of a challenge to establish those boundaries with clients?

I can see being combative at first when talking to people about being poly. But I have gone my entire life being monogamous so I do understand their side of it. Plus, I know that everyone has different desires and wants with their love life and sex life. I even had a friend come out to me saying he liked to watch beastiality porn. I don't condone it, but I understand it on a sexologist aspect. Everyone has different fetishes but what makes it ok to act upon is if it is between consenting adults. Animals can't consent which makes it harder for people who are into that type of fetish to find release.

But that's besides the point.

I am a web cam model. I am going to also be doing some films and when I move back to town I will start being an escort, I also might get into dominatrix stuff since my friends roommate holds a body positive space for people who are getting into it. My girlfriend does not want me to have sex with men because it is easier to contract something and we also have to think of her husbands safety so I'm ok with this. I don't exactly want to have sex with men anyways!
So far I haven't had any issues with me being queer. Usually the guys are interested or think it's a challenge. I let them think that.  

[Oxyria]

Salmenella

Oxyria

That's very cool. It's nice to be at a point to be able to just explain it without being confrontational. I find it's easy to feel judged and come at it combatively but it's much nicer to just have an exchange of views and perspectives.

And that's awesome. It's definitely a necessary thing for people to be educated on.

I've had a lot of different thoughts. Considered prostitution, just selling sex. I think I could be comfortable with that depending on how I approach it, but I honestly have pretty much no sexual experience with men so I feel like it could be awkward initially. I'm not really put off by it though. Cisgender men don't really do anything for me and it definitely would be an act. Intellectually I have no problem with any of it though.
On the other hand I've considered films, but not seriously as I'd rather have some discretion and I don't want my image all over the place.
I think it could be interesting to be a domme also, forgoing the whole sex thing altogether. Could be fun, too.
Another idea in a different direction is to start making leather kink gear and harnesses for various clients, which I'm definitely hoping to start doing in the near future.

Considered everything a lot, haven't really jumped into anything yet.
Can I ask what you do? And do you think, being queer, it sometimes makes it more of a challenge to establish those boundaries with clients?

I can see being combative at first when talking to people about being poly. But I have gone my entire life being monogamous so I do understand their side of it. Plus, I know that everyone has different desires and wants with their love life and sex life. I even had a friend come out to me saying he liked to watch beastiality porn. I don't condone it, but I understand it on a sexologist aspect. Everyone has different fetishes but what makes it ok to act upon is if it is between consenting adults. Animals can't consent which makes it harder for people who are into that type of fetish to find release.

But that's besides the point.

I am a web cam model. I am going to also be doing some films and when I move back to town I will start being an escort, I also might get into dominatrix stuff since my friends roommate holds a body positive space for people who are getting into it. My girlfriend does not want me to have sex with men because it is easier to contract something and we also have to think of her husbands safety so I'm ok with this. I don't exactly want to have sex with men anyways!
So far I haven't had any issues with me being queer. Usually the guys are interested or think it's a challenge. I let them think that.

I have few judgments when it comes to others' lifestyles and kinks, and I tend to approach most things with quite a lot of empathy. That said I find it easy to feel judged. I've gotten to a point where I can easily converse with people about stuff like this, but also to a point where I've learned when to just not bother.

That's really cool. I never live anywhere near urban centers so there's rarely any kind of cohesive kink community or space to explore that near where I am, which kinda sucks. But I think being a Domme could be cool for sure. Do you like being a cam model? I'd never really seriously considered it.

And that's a valid concern. In all honesty I'll probably never actually be a prostitute, STIs being a big concern for me as well. But on the surface I have no real problem with it, and I've considered it mostly because I've found people suggesting it fairly frequently. A slightly masochistic part of me wants to try it just to see though.