The Government of my Story

[aimike3]

Since my story is taking place in an entire planet ruled by lots of different people, I thought I should post it here and see what you people thought.

Arcanor-A country founded on magic and arcane principles. The best magicians live here, practicing their arcane arts in preparation for war against the Mechillian, a country founded on weaponry that has outlawed magic. Arcanor is ruled by a council of venerable wizards and sorcerers, clerics and druids, all sorts of magical persons. They were chosen during the time that Mechillian was the most powerful country in the world, and after Arcanor established a strong central government, they have slowly expanded North, taking land that once belonged to small warring tribes. People who live under this government live poorly, but have what they need to live.

Mechillian-A country founded on the principles of war. This country has an elite army trained in the use of every weapon known to mankind, and more recently have acquired magic-resisting armor. Their government consists of one king, who fights with a special blade, called a Vorpal Blade, that can cut through a magical Wall of Force, which magicians often use to keep enemies at bay. He has also entrusted a few of his men with copies of his Vorpal Blade. The people who live in this country live poorly as well, and occasionally revolt, but these rare revolts are taken care of easily.

Tenchu-A major tribe far away from Arcanor and Mechillian, the Tenchu have lived in peace, and have so much doubt that they will be attacked, that most of them have decided to stop training for war and instead have become bards. They are led by a wizard, who has enchanted them all with a spell so that they do his bidding. Little does anybody in Tenchu know that Arcanor is slowly getting closer and that soon Tenchu will be taken by the wizards. The people here barely get one meal a day, but because of the enchantment don't mind at all.

That's all I have so far. Any ideas?  

[poet_dice07]

It needs depth. Why should I care that any of this is happening? It looks more like a setup than a real story, as if I'm supposed to be drawn in by Wizards vs. Warriors alone. It seems like too much is arranged for convenience, like the entire nation falling under on wizard's spell. Why can't the wizards of Arcanor do the same thing to the Mechillians?

Also, the entire Vorpal Blade premise seems like a handwave so that the Mechillians don't lose by default. Basically, the king himself or one of his highest, and presumably strongest, officers would have to move to the front line and slice open the Wall of Force just to get a crack at the wizards...who can STILL hurl fireballs and such at them before they get close enough to effectively counterattack.

Change the names. Please. Arcanor for the arcane, Mechillia for the industrial, and Tenchu for the third-world tagalong don't sound like much originality or thought was put into the process.