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We Knew (Please Tell Me What You Think)

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Nykina

PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 4:56 pm


We Knew
By: Nykina Everlynn


Broken angel,
How can you fly?
With wings so broken,
And tears in your eyes.

Fallen angel,
How do you sing?
Don’t you know,
You’ve lost everything.

Little girl,
How can you smile?
Your love is gone,
But heart still wild.

When will the pain,
Become to much?
When it hurts,
Just to be touched?
We’re all waiting,
For the flood to began.
We know,
We knew,
You can’t hold it all in.

Little wolf,
Why do you howl?
We hear your sorrow,
It reaches the clouds.

Enchanting witch,
How do you dance?
The magick is gone,
Your life left to chance?

Little girl,
We see it all.
Your not the strong,
You can’t hold on.

When will the pain,
Become to much?
When it hurts,
Just to be touched?
We’re all waiting,
For the flood to began.
We know,
We knew,
You can’t hold it all in.

[Tell me what you think please, even f it’s bad.]
PostPosted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 10:17 pm


Wow, that was really good! A very lovely poem, with a good flow and excellent choice of wording. There were some spelling errors that I saw though...
"magick" should be "magic"
"Your not the stong" I think you mean "You're not that strong"
Remember your is possessive, you're is you are. Though you may already know that and just had a small mishap. Anyways, good job!

Lunar-Eclipse82


Nykina

PostPosted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 4:09 pm


Thank you.
I fixed the strong, and thanks for pointing that out.
But actually that's they way I spell magic, with a k.
I don’t know if you've heard of Wicca, but that's what a practice, and that's the way Magick is spelled for us.
But thank you again.
PostPosted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 4:55 pm


User Image
Excuse me! Ah-Ree-Ahn-Uhh has something to say!

I like how dark it is and how suspenseful it is. Makes me wonder what this "flood" is. I like it biggrin

Thank you. That is all.

Cold Oktober


ColetteCatastrophe

PostPosted: Sat Jun 06, 2009 10:52 am


I love it it's so deep dark and magickal. It's much better than what i write for sure so keep writing!
PostPosted: Sat Jun 06, 2009 6:43 pm


Nykina
Thank you.
I fixed the strong, and thanks for pointing that out.
But actually that's they way I spell magic, with a k.
I don’t know if you've heard of Wicca, but that's what a practice, and that's the way Magick is spelled for us.
But thank you again.

You're very welcome.
Oh, I see. My neighbor used to practice Wicca, so I do know a little bit about it. The magic being magick was obviously not one of the things I knew though. sweatdrop

Lunar-Eclipse82

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