Anne's long-winded speeches about how her life isn't perfect

[Anneechin23]

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[Anneechin23]

******** the world, Really. Just end it.

Let me tell you a little about myself, My name is Anne Serenity Miller. I've always been the annoyingly cheerful kid with blonde hair and brown eyes. I'm the math/science geek who hides behind her her books, with a stick so far up her a** you'd think she couldn't walk. I'm a prude, I dress like a dowd. I like video games and "I have too much time on my hands." I have a (had) have a job at Food Basics and I'm always ten minutes early.

So I'm the basic stock character the happy teenacger with the perfect family and good in school. I'm tha "Happy-go-lucky" girl in my group of semi-lesbanaic straight girlfriends. We're all so close you'd think we were in love with each other...

The last year and a half of my life of no troubles reached it's capacity and people I loved were dropping like flies. Chris, my beloved cousin, Dennis, my father's twin brother, and now I risk losing my father. He is suffering from Hepitisis C. Affecting the liver, it slows down the purification process, making it more difficult for the to take in toxins. It killed Dennis and it is Killing Heather's Dad. I'll speak more about that later. Death is hard to deal with and me, never having dealt with it this close to mebefore, it hurts. It still does and I miss Chris, and sometimes Dennis.

To pay for the Medication my father will need, we've had to sell our house. The place that I grew up in. of course I don't want to leave it, but at the same time, I can't wait to experience a new city, a new lifestyle.

My mom has sued the city we live in because of the sewage backup 3times in 4 years. It was a problem that should've been fixed in 1963, when they first discovered it.

We've sold the house, we just haven't found a place to move to yet. My Parents (aka mom) wants to move back home to the Rideau Valley(near Ottawa). There she says she'll be able to to get a job.

If there's anything to know about my mother, it wouldhave to be the guilt trips. If you say something negative, She will pound you with a guilt trip so hard, your reslove will break. I'd like to say that I've inherited this, but not to that degree, yet.

My Parents are also a cause for a lot of my stress lately. They are potheads. They smoke up everyday, my mom also smokes cigarettes. Being the "perfect" girl that I am, I'd like not to smell of weed. I keep attracting guys I really don't like.

School's tough. I mean the course themselves are easy, but school, going everyday to do the smae things over and over again... It bores me...

(It's raining.. To be Continued. )  

[WildWildWindWhisperer]

Anneechin23

Midnight Moon

As I look up at the heavens,
I see the beauty covered by the blanket of day.
The stars alight like jewels.

I see the horrible clouds of poison
the Pollution of the earth.
Although it's distruction is grotesque,
It's mysticized the moon, in all it's glory.

I always thought a life short lived,
was a one with out freedom, and serenity.
but to these moments, I feel most free from earthly bonds.

Staring into the abyss of the moon,
the fog making it's mysteries all the more hidden,
The land a dark corner,
I find myself Writing....

Without the seas of sleep to guide me,
These mysteries show me tranquility.
My Sanctuary, Only seen on Sleepless Nights.

****
Hi! smile

Very enlightened.
Tremendously sweet & moving.
Like it.

Thank you for sharing.
........WindWhisperer wink  

[Anneechin23]

Thank you! ^.^  

[Anneechin23]

MIndless, in a dream
wondering the real and untrue
a maze of letters, number and scents
children laugh, and I fall again..

Innocence to be cherished,
Innocence to be coveted.
Ignorance to be shamed
Ignorance to be Amended

Difference? Contained? Changed?  

[Anneechin23]

I feel a little tired, but other than that all is right in the world sorta... Heh, I'm at my friends house, and it's a new day, open to anything...  

[Anneechin23]

We, as teenagers, spend a lot of time defining who we are. We are followed by it, in Stereotypes, Cliques, and in the way we go about our day. Everything must be This One way, or Any way but that one to be you.The Mass Ideal is that we are defined by our friends, who we spend time with and influence, or are influenced by. But in the end, we grow up, go to University, Get Jobs, and get so busy it means nothing to us anymore. So all that time Defining ourselves, is the most clear picture you can have of yourself. You aren't just one thing, but It helps people as a whole to not try to get to know you. You're this, and you fit there. The truth is, we'll never be that defined, ever again.  

[WildWildWindWhisperer]

Anneechin23

We, as teenagers, spend a lot of time defining who we are. We are followed by it, in Stereotypes, Cliques, and in the way we go about our day. Everything must be This One way, or Any way but that one to be you.The Mass Ideal is that we are defined by our friends, who we spend time with and influence, or are influenced by. But in the end, we grow up, go to University, Get Jobs, and get so busy it means nothing to us anymore. So all that time Defining ourselves, is the most clear picture you can have of yourself. You aren't just one thing, but It helps people as a whole to not try to get to know you. You're this, and you fit there. The truth is, we'll never be that defined, ever again.

I adore this!
Such a tremendous amount of enlightened thought.
The words and feelings behind this are very real and true. Have thought such many times in my life.
Am looking forward to reading more of your writings.

...............WildWildWindWhisperer wink ( Vice-Captian)  

[Anneechin23]

To wear ones emotions on their sleeves is like to have open heart surgery in the middle of a war zone. It's likely to be deadly. How can one person be all that it takes to crumple your little existence. I can easily succum to paranoia, when all that happened was a little disagreement with one person. "She'll change all of their opinions, not just hers... I'm be a loser. Alone again." and that terrifies me. But Luckily for me, people love me enough to get over things I've done. I've made mistakes and so far they haven't killed me yet. so Here's to new things. New Changes and hopeful a new start.

Happy 2008.  

[Pup in Fluff]

Anneechin23

To wear ones emotions on their sleeves is like to have open heart surgery in the middle of a war zone. It's likely to be deadly. How can one person be all that it takes to crumple your little existence. I can easily succum to paranoia, when all that happened was a little disagreement with one person. "She'll change all of their opinions, not just hers... I'm be a loser. Alone again." and that terrifies me. But Luckily for me, people love me enough to get over things I've done. I've made mistakes and so far they haven't killed me yet. so Here's to new things. New Changes and hopeful a new start.

Happy 2008.

Amen!  

[Anneechin23]

Love. (so plain, but so hard to describe.)

This feeling, crushing beneath my chest.
This longing, so powerful to make me stop.
It's so vague and scary. The Devotion I'm feeling.
I hope, somewhere, inside that this makes sense.
I dream of fufilment that seems a long way off.
Why now, why you? why her?
Is this a play set up by you?
Would you do something like that to me?
Maybe, there for would that resentment go...
How far down the rabbit hole would you have me fall?
would you catch me? or leave me to pick up the pieces?

Do you see me for who I am? Or am I being someone else? Do you make me a different person?  

[Anneechin23]

(this is a love letter. I wrote it. Cheese and all. for certain peoples protect I've decided not to name names.... This is the rough draft, more of a personal journal, than an actual letter the real one is much better, but he won't give it back xD)

**** so and so, you had better be careful with my heart. It's not really good for anything, but you could use it to jack up your cd collection.

I said no then because I wanted too much to get it right. You noticed that I don't try to act like other girls in pictures cause I don't know how to, Not that I need to...

So this other girl. Do you really like her? Is she all that I can't and won't be? I want you to be happy. That is my first concern.

On the topic of sex, I'd like to announce that I'm not a prude. I'm a coward. ^.^ Sex doesn't scare me. Doing it badly does. As I have said Many times, I love you. I'm not stupid. I do want to. but I'm not a slut. Certain negotiations must be made, points reached, and understanding gained before this is even open to suggestion. Sorry so and sos Junior. This Paragraph is probably unnecessary, as I don't have a chance in hell anyways.

And finally. I'm not mad anymore but I was. If this was a ploy to get me to react it worked. If this was nothing you still know everything, and therefore I can have closure. I can get over this. This mixed up mess of emotions and hope for the better.

Here on a platter sits a Heart. Uncracked as of yet, but that power is completely yours.

Love Anne.  

[Anneechin23]

I've never been more happy. Stressed. Busy. but VERY happy. It's so weird, and so great, and so completely unpredictable. It's a completely new thing for us, the right time. I hope. I still have doubts. It all just happened so quickly. did we jump into this? Did we not think it out? only three weeks, and we've moved past "I love you"s to how will our house hypothetically look like.

But we've been friends, and more long before now. It only makes sense that we wouldn't have to go back to square one. But even still. How can one person feel so devoted to another human being... my head can't get around what's already going on in my heart.


xD this isn't a rambling about how my life isn't perfect. cause right now it kinda feels like it is.  

[Anneechin23]

Wow, I was so cute... XD Times are crap again. Perfection cracked under scrutiny of course. Lol. But I have a new entry.

The Drama in my Life - A found Poem.

don't know how much this is going to help
the one who linked their arm around mine once
isn't me trying to make you feel guilty
I'll accept it.
while I may be moving away from where my innocence flourished.
betrayed, and taken advantage of, and for that is what that one phrase comfirmed, and then I was done.
pretty sick and I'm really tired
he probably would have talked to her about it
unlike you, he KNEW
screwed yourself over
don't care if you're mad at me
have the right to do it
of my own accord
contrary to what you want to believe
would let you cry on their shoulder
your own advice that you told me
Hoping someone might have fun if I did
don't really confide in them like I did with you
can't say I wouldn't do it again
unlike a supposed best friend of mine
pretty ******** low for you
doesn't appreciate the little things somedays...
We grow apart
should be a world apart
how they feel about you
Preying on my deepest Fears.
you feel victimized by me
what you thought was right
even more of a jerk by doing this
your other friends about it too
ever affected someone's decisions, right?
you ASSUMED I knew
belong in people's lives
and then she went crazy...
don't want someone LIKE you in my life
How did I wound you so?
your involved, why not my-"
Confused, tired and Alone.  

[Anneechin23]

Pathetically enough, those are words that either I have written or she has in turn replied to me in the course of our friendship.