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Tags: funny, random, silly, stupid, hilarious 

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La Bijou
Vice Captain

Swashbuckling Wench

PostPosted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 2:58 pm


1. You answer the door before people knock.
2. Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
3. You ski uphill.
4. You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
5. You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
6. You lick your coffeepot clean.
7. You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
8. Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
9. You chew on other people's fingernails.
10. Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."
11. You can type sixty words per minute ... with your feet.
12. You can jump-start your car without cables.
13. Cocaine is a downer.
14. You don't need a hammer to pound nails.
15. Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
16. You don't sweat, you percolate.
17. You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel.
18. You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
19. You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
20. You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
21. You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
22. Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
23. You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
24. People get dizzy just watching you.
25. You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
26. The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
27. Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
28. Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
29. Instant coffee takes too long.
30. When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."
31. You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
32. Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
33. You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
34. You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
35. You can thread a sewing machine, while it's running.
36. You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
37. You short out motion detectors.
38. You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
39. Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
40. You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
41. You don't tan, you roast.
42. You can't even remember your second cup.
43. You help your dog chase its tail.
PostPosted: Sat Feb 28, 2009 2:23 am


I haven't drunk coffee since the milk crudded to the bottom of my cup. It looked like vomit and tasted pretty bad too. *shivers*

Zetsurin sensei

Sparkly Lunatic


Shi-koi

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 5:11 am




There is no life without coffee, it's a dirty evil lie.

There can never be too much coffee. It's impossible to be addicted to coffee, just like it's impossible to be addicted to air...you simply need them both to stay alive. --nods--

PostPosted: Sat Jul 18, 2009 11:42 am


Half of that sounds like me. And the thing is I don't even drink coffee. I just drink a lot of Coke. That's funny. rofl
La Bijou
1. You answer the door before people knock.
2. Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
3. You ski uphill.
4. You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
5. You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
6. You lick your coffeepot clean.
7. You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
8. Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
9. You chew on other people's fingernails.
10. Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."
11. You can type sixty words per minute ... with your feet.
12. You can jump-start your car without cables.
13. Cocaine is a downer.
14. You don't need a hammer to pound nails.
15. Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
16. You don't sweat, you percolate.
17. You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel.
18. You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
19. You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
20. You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
21. You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
22. Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
23. You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
24. People get dizzy just watching you.
25. You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
26. The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
27. Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
28. Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
29. Instant coffee takes too long.
30. When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."
31. You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
32. Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
33. You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
34. You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
35. You can thread a sewing machine, while it's running.
36. You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
37. You short out motion detectors.
38. You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
39. Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
40. You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
41. You don't tan, you roast.
42. You can't even remember your second cup.
43. You help your dog chase its tail.

SchizoSpazz

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Pink Marshmallow 132

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 23, 2009 2:30 am


I don't drink coffee... xd
PostPosted: Thu Jul 23, 2009 5:03 pm


lol i love that! blaugh

Kagura667


Sukinuri_911

PostPosted: Fri Jul 24, 2009 2:12 pm


I drink coffee only once a week(mondays) and i still act like that
PostPosted: Fri Sep 04, 2009 9:58 pm


SchizoSpazz
Half of that sounds like me. And the thing is I don't even drink coffee. I just drink a lot of Coke. That's funny. rofl
La Bijou
1. You answer the door before people knock.
2. Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
3. You ski uphill.
4. You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
5. You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
6. You lick your coffeepot clean.
7. You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
8. Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
9. You chew on other people's fingernails.
10. Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."
11. You can type sixty words per minute ... with your feet.
12. You can jump-start your car without cables.
13. Cocaine is a downer.
14. You don't need a hammer to pound nails.
15. Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
16. You don't sweat, you percolate.
17. You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel.
18. You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
19. You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
20. You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
21. You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
22. Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
23. You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
24. People get dizzy just watching you.
25. You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
26. The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
27. Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
28. Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
29. Instant coffee takes too long.
30. When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."
31. You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
32. Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
33. You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
34. You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
35. You can thread a sewing machine, while it's running.
36. You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
37. You short out motion detectors.
38. You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
39. Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
40. You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
41. You don't tan, you roast.
42. You can't even remember your second cup.
43. You help your dog chase its tail.

haha same here

Hot smileyface

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