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Reply Horror...um, Art Shelf! – Original Work by Elves
Sorting Hat's song

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Minerva the Bookwyrm
Captain

PostPosted: Sun Jan 25, 2009 8:08 am


If you've never read Harry Potter (Yes, read it, not watched it) then this won't make much sense. I designed my own song that the Sorting Hat might've sung since the lyrics are different every school term, and this is what I came up with:

"A thousand years ago,

Hogwarts was wrought,

And many different types of students,

To the magic school were brought.

Slytherin preferred the ones,

Who had great ambition.

Ravenclaw accepted those,

With wit worth recognition.

Hufflepuff valued most,

Hard workers and fidelity,

And Gryffindor taught those,

Of courage and chivalry.

Gryffindor took me off his head,

And gave me a mind,

So that when the founders were gone,

I could help pupils find their kind!"
PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 4:12 am


I like it, especially the rhyming of wrought-brought and ambition-recognition. biggrin

Elf on a Bookshelf
Vice Captain


SuzelovesJamesPotter

PostPosted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 5:57 am


As I said in the RP guild, I think the Hat would really sing this. It's quite excellent!
PostPosted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 7:11 am


Rockin song and tht could be a really rock star song! And I say its a hit!! blaugh

Mistress_of_Kitty_Cats


Alutian

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 12, 2009 11:15 am


Short, but rather well-done.
I hope you like constructive criticism?

There are a few lines that could definitely stand a couple extra beats for better rhythm...also, remember that you needn't end every line with a comma.
Example:
"And Gryffindor taught those,
Of courage and chivalry."

The comma confuses things. If you wrote it as a sentence, it'd look more like this: "And Gryffindor taught those of courage and chivalry."
Don't worry - the break in the line should be enought to tell us to pause there briefly. wink

About the beat, here's one line that might benefit from an extra word:
"And gave me a mind" -> "And gave to me a mind."

Read aloud and listen:
gryfFINdor TOOK me OFF his HEAD
and GAVE to ME a MIND.

As opposed to:
gryfFINdor TOOK me OFF his HEAD
and GAVE me A mind // and GAVE ME a MIND.

Just an example.
Read the entire poem aloud to yourself. Poetry is a medium meant to be almost chanted or sung, especially this sort of poetry. If it doesn't flow from your mouth in a natural manner, see where it sticks and fix that.

The rhyming was quite nice. I'm glad you didn't try to match a mulitple-syllable word with a single-syllable...that might've gotten messy.
Great job!
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Horror...um, Art Shelf! – Original Work by Elves

 
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