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if a band member is dumb enough to not move when you're spinning your flag, they deserve to get hit. scream

When u have poorly made silks and you have turf in them......cut it out and dont complain if it is ripped...sow it up. Its common sense right?

My golden rules:
ALWAYS CHECK YOUR EQUIPMENT BEFORE SHOWTIME. I once had a flag that was poorly taped (freshman), and the stopper and the weight came off in the last eight sets of our show. I had to just hold my flag and not toss. THIS IS THE NUMBER ONE RULE OF MARKUS.

GET YER OWN DAMN TAPE, YOU RUFFIGANS. Do not always depend on the guard masters or the captains and upperclassmen to bring you tape.

Speaking of tape, LEARN HOW TO TAPE A FRIGGIN' FLAG. If you have not learned how to tape in the first WEEK of band/camp, you need to pull a captain or an upperclassman to the side and say "Hey, I still need to learn how to tape." We are not your maids or tailors. Guard is a team, but you need to pull your own weight.

Safety pins are your friends when it comes to long jazz pants.

If you need new jazz shoes, DON'T GO TO THE GUARD MASTER(S) FOR THEM. Go into town and get some new ones, or order them online. In the meantime, pin/sew up your shoes until you get your newbs.

HIDE YER TAPE FROM THE DRUMLAHN. Ours stole three rolls of white tape and a roll of black last year.

IF YOU RUN OUT OF MAKEUP OR SOMEONE STEALS IT, GET NEW MAKEUP ASAP. I for one do not allow anyone to use my makeup unless it is my besties Amanda and Cece. Reason? They warn me of whether they have a cold/cough/etc or not, and I do the same.

If a captain or fellow Guardie gives you a tip or reminds you of the work, how your body should be positioned, or anything else, YOU'D BETTER DAMN WELL MAKE SURE YOU FIX YOUR ACTIONS OR POSITION. We are all here to help. If you don't at least try to fix yourself, we WILL notice. And if you keep it up, we WILL go to the guard master(s).

While a band member should also be paying attention to the guard's whereabouts, BE MINDFUL OF YOUR POSITION ON THE FIELD. This is very helpful to avoid bruises, damages to instruments, and flares of anger in the band.

If a band member says that guard is stupid and is never in sync, IGNORE THEM. Just because they don't know how difficult being in guard is does NOT mean you have to defend your team. The instruments are stoopid. Ignore the stoopid instruments.

For god's sakes, DON'T ******** WHINE DURING BAND CAMP. If you are on my team, I will take you to the side and tell you right away "If you do not stop complaining, we are going to make these two weeks a living hell for you. Do you understand?" BAND CAMP SUCKS. We all know that. YOU DON'T HAVE TO CONFIRM THAT FOR US.

If your fellow Guardie girls tell you about an instrument player who is a Guardie Freshman whore, BELIEVE THEM. A boy named Kurt Ziebis has been VERY successful in wooing Freshmen Guardies since he was a Sophomore.

DON'T BELIEVE THE RULE THAT GUARDIES CAN'T DATE DRUMLINE. Who's going to stop you?

NO ONE IS ALWAYS RIGHT. EXCEPT THE DIRECTOR. ALL HAIL RAPTOR DIRECTOR.

If you're a Freshman, and you try to steal another band member's boyfriend/girlfriend, YOU WILL DIE. Get your own damn boyfriend, you dirty Jew-whore.

Don't cuddle up to the Seniors if you're a Freshie. They don't want you, get over it. Go after the Guardie Whore.

If you don't want to get dressed/undressed in the trailer, WEAR A LEOTARD OR LEGGINGS UNDER YOUR CLOTHES. No one wants to see your underwear or thong.

DO NOT EVER QUIT. WE WILL HATE YOU TIL YOU DIE.