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 Posted: Fri Aug 22, 2008 6:44 am
Okay, I want more cats. In fact, I want two more very specific cats - there's two disabled cats at our humane society that I want to bring home.
Now, if I ask the hubby for more cats he'll probably say no (he might say yes, but I think it would take a lot of convincing.) But if just show up with new cats he'll probably be upset but will get over it and will grow to love them.
So I'm debating the relative merits of just showing up with more cats unannounced, or involving him in the discussion/decision to get more cats.
I think discussing it with him would be the responsible thing to do, but I'm not convinced it will actually work. On the other hand I'm sure he will grow to love the new cats if I just bring them home and won't be too upset.
They have a bit working against them. They're both females, which is good, They're also both orange, long haired and disabled, which is bad (he doesn't like orange cats or longhaired cats. One has only one eye, the other appears to have brain damage that affects her motor coordination but is otherwise fine.)
So, do I ask permission and risk being told no, or do I just bring these cats home and then ask forgiveness? A major consideration for me is that no one else is going to adopt these cats, especially together, and they really should stay together.
We also did this a lot with my father - we'd just show up at home with strays we'd found, and while he was never a cat lover, he never got too upset about it either.
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Posted: Sat Aug 23, 2008 1:44 am
If he's your hubby, then it's not about asking for permission. It's about showing him that's something you really want and talking about it and slowly convincing him (and never giving up in the process).
Maybe take him to that humane society to see the cats?
Either way, you really should decide it together. The cats deserve to have a decent and happy life, but your partner deserves some consideration and respect from you too.
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Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 11:00 am
Well only coming from my side...
...when my fiance wanted to get a us a second kitty a few weeks ago but I didn't think our old one was ready yet, he mentioned he could just go to the humane society and get one (or two @_@) and just bring them home. I told him I'd kill him >O
...he threatened to do this with puppies too
...our 8 year old neighbor told him to do the same thing to me. WTH! conspiracies!!!
Personally I wouldn't like this done to me at all, even though I know that yes I would eventually forgive him and love the new pets.
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Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 3:34 pm
My best friend Laura tried to do the same thing with a puppy. Her husband was very upset because she went behind his back. He never made up to the pup; in fact he resented it so much they finally took it back to keep peace in the house. Honesty is always the best thing;esp. in a marriage. The cats do need a home, but your partner needs respect too.
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Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 12:12 am
I think it's best to talk with him and explain your intentions. I prefer honesty from my other half. If anything, the one thing running through his mind would be "expenses". Other than that, he'll probably be okay with the whole thing.
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