Moving

[kekadu]

I wanted to ask some advice of you all, since you may have had similar experiences. I just graduated in June from college and now I'm in the stage of deciding what to do with my life. My parents live in a small town of about 3000 people in the middle of nowhere, and I went to school in a town of 50000 in coastal central California. Now the more I think about it, the more the thought of moving back in with my parents in two months makes me really unhappy. I really want to move to San Francisco (I live in CA already). I've been looking for jobs, but not housing because I don't want to move somewhere without having a job first.

Have you all had experiences moving like this? Any advice? Thanks!  

[Levina-jade]

I moved back home after being away at college for some time, and it was the biggest mistake ever, if you can try and stay out on your own.

trying to come back and live back under your partents rules after doing as you please is hard... i still havent gotten use to having to keep my room clean or the midnight curfew.  

[damnatio memoriae]

I decided to up and move to Atlanta from a small town in FL when I was 21. I am soooo happy that I followed through with one of the most gutsy things I've ever done. You're young, get out and explore while you can. You could always move back in with the parents while you search for a job? While I was saving up to move I got a second job with a retail store which let me transfer to a location where I was moving. It may not have been the greatest job, but it sure helped me get settled. I looked for another job on the side and eventually was able to quit the retail job. I've been here for almost six years now and I love it! I always knew deep down what I wanted to do. A lot of times I felt lost because of the changes my life was taking, but I could see the potential that this change had and that helped me through. Sounds like you already know what you want and you should go for it! If you don't try, you'll never know what could have been! Good-Luck! biggrin  

[[[[ bunny ]]]]

i'm gonna finish my masters in a year, and i plan on doing something similar.. looking for a job in the island or in the states, and when i find what i'm looking for, moving out to wherever that job might be. my parents are pretty strict and i want to live out on my own and be my own person already, regardless of how hard it might be. i think i'm pretty grown thus far and more than ready for the challenge xd good luck, and let us know how it goes, i'm super curious to find out! heart  

[Bakura Amane]

I say it depends on your family and how you relate to them. I moved back in with my family, aganist a lot of my classmates and roomate's advice, merely because we've always gotten along for the most part and since I came home every weekend anyway, everyone got used to the fact I was/am an adult now and could still live my own life even if I live(d) at home. I was only told to simply find a job so that I could buy the little things that I wanted or needed (room and food was provided per se). I was not to just mooch off of them for whatever came up and I needed money for.

If you are in a similar situation to mine then go home; just know you will have boundaries to set and things to talk about with them so they don't invade your space. Personally, I'm glad I came home so I could help out where needed to help with housework for Mom because of her severe osteoprosis (spelling?!), emotionally supporting the family during Daddy's treatments and thereafter, and being a wonderful friend and support for Steven. I actually feel I did the right thing! I doubt I'll be leaving any time soon, unless this new degree makes me move or something else comes up.

If you don't get along well with your family or are the total opposite as me then perhaps you don't want to go home. Maybe you are better off living on your own. I mean if you've gotten so used to living on your own (which I never did), maybe it is time for you to move out completely.

Just some helpful advice (I hope). Good luck with whatever you decide to do! heart  

[chibihotachan]

I've always ;ived in the same area so I'm afraid I can't help ya but I wish you luck smile  

[AntoniaMerEnfant]

I almost want to advise the risk. I am going through something similar. Going to SLU for grad work I accrued a disgusting amount of debt which defeated the purpose of saving money by moving back home while doing my masters. I decided I couldn't stand going another year not working full time.

So when I looked into a different grad track I had to choose staying in the area or moving out. I decided the grad program I wanted was 200 miles away and that I wanted to get a masters in 2 years and be able to work full time. Job hunting 200 miles away is very very tricky (I do best when I can stop by in person and establish rapport).

I think it depends on the type of person you are. For me I feel guilty not being able to support myself on my income alone. I'd spent four years living on a tiny, tiny budget (15$ a week) but with a sense of control over my life. I like being independent as much as I love my family. In my case too, I have an alcoholic and mildly autistic brother who can sometimes be difficult to live with.

If you think your degree might have a better shot in a big city the risk could pay off. Have you thought about finding a friend with a similar goal and being roommates? Roommates can have its own host of problems, but it can also allow for a more flexible budget and much needed moral support.

p.s. I'm actually moving two weeks from now- so I'll let you know about the process!  

[Sablara]

I moved from Perth to Brisbane just after I finished uni (I think I was 21?). It was the best thing I ever did - both personally and career wise.
My best advice is to get a job before you move. Often (depending on which field you work in) the company might help financially in moving you.

Unfortunately for me, the office I was working in (in Brisbane) closed, so I came back to Perth. crying
My next big move will be overseas. I hope to do that before I'm 35...mostly likely to the US or asia somewhere.

Good luck! I hope all goes well with job hunting and moving.  

[Dafthank]

It all depends on the relationship that you have with your parents. If your parents are cool and don't try to micromanage your life and treat you like you're still 12, then moving in for a short time to establish yourself may be a pretty good idea.

If they're like most parents, however, I'd say visit for a bit, but spend the whole time there trying to establish yourself somewhere else as fast as you can so you can get out.  

[kekadu]

Sablara

My best advice is to get a job before you move. Often (depending on which field you work in) the company might help financially in moving you.

Yeah, I'm not moving there unless I have a job lined up. Unfortunately, since I'm entry level, I don't think anyone wants to help pay my relocation costs. sad

My parents don't really try to micromanage my life much, they're just parents...we get along fine, but better when I don't live there. Hehe The main thing, I think, is not that I am despising moving back in with my parents but rather moving back home where I have no friends anymore, everything is really far apart (and rural), and there is so little economic opportunity.  

[Sheboygan Milad]

I would almost move to San Francisco just for the fog and the sourdough.

Almost.

Anyway, I can make my own sourdough.

No help, right?