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 Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 1:13 pm
Breathless,Eternal,
thy world is mine own.
I await thee in the night
when thy heart doth beat
for me alone.
Only for thee
do my arms open
drawing thy soul to mine.
Part, sweet lips,
that I might breathe with thee
taste of thee
surrender to thee.
Shadows alone
do clothe thee,
no mortal touch to conceal
thy sweet frame.
breathless, Eternal,
I await thee.
'My kiss is the dark touch of midnight
I hold the moon in my hands.
the chill thrill of death
the hot pulse of breath
I glisten in Luna's wan light.
The deep ebon whisper of velvet
that cradles each glimmer star
Begining and end,
again and again
My kiss is death's first sweet bite.'
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Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 2:55 pm
I really like it. It's romantic, but dark at the same time.
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Posted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 4:11 pm
My English is not nearly good enough to be able to understand it all. So, I won't rate. It reminds me of Shakespeare.
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Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 8:24 am
It is amazing, keep up the good work.
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Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 8:39 pm
It's pretty good. I'm glad people still know how to use that language properly.
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Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 3:14 pm
That is so romantic,and the darkness adds to the coolness.You should write some more!
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Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 9:35 am
I thought it had a wonderful use of older-world terms. I loved how you used descriptive imagery to give the reader a setting.
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Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 9:19 pm
*Claps* I liked it. The actual language made me think of Shakespeare so I think that really worked for it. Points for you! I can't write poetry worth anything. stare
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Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 9:11 am
Awesome imagery....beautiful
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Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 5:17 pm
It's really good. I agree that it's romantic and it does use the older style of language well. I really enjoyed it, so keep up the good work.
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Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 10:19 am
I think this was copywritten with a song or it was copied from a show like Twilight.
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