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Real life problems. I need help from band nerds :[

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Auntie Crackhead

PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 3:37 pm


Two of my best friends in the world are Ashley and Brandon. I've been friends with them for a long time now, and while we've had our fights, we've always been pretty close.

Brandon has liked Ashley for as long as I can remember. They've gone out and broken up around 3 times now, and she's liked him on and off. At the moment she says she doesn't like him, but they always flirt sooo much... I just don't know whether or not to believe her. Maybe its not intentional?

Aaanyway. So, on to the problem I'm having now. Ashley and Brandon are super close, more than best friends, but not lovers. Brandon likes her, and feels the need to remind me of it daily. [Seriously, every time he calls me, it's to talk about her and what he can do to impress her.] They're CONSTANTLY hanging out with each other. In fact, they always talk about stuff they've done/are going to do in front of me without inviting me at all.

I'm trying not to hold it against any of them, really, since I know they mean no harm by it. But I don't think they know how much all this really hurts me. None of this would bother me if they were dating or something, because that's completely different... but right now, they're at the 'just friends' stage. I'm tired of being left out. Brandon seems to like to make a point to talk about how Ashley is his best friend in the entire world and no one can replace her, and how amazing and beautiful she is, and blah blah blah. I can honestly say I don't like Brandon as more than a friend, which may be hard to believe from hearing all that, but it's true. I'm just sick of hearing how much better Ashley is at everything than me.... I guess that's a big part of it. I'm insecure enough as it is, I don't need to hear how amazing my best friend is on a daily basis. gonk

I guess what I'm trying to ask is, am I overreacting with all of this? It's been going on for such a long time, and I just need to let it out.... but I don't know what to do. I definitely am not interesting in ending any friendships, but I want this to stop. It really hurts me emotionally and kills the few shreds of self confidence I have. :[
PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 3:41 pm


i dont think your over reacting at all thats the same thing thats going on with me but its with some one who isnt exactly friends with me right now
its obvious theyre not gong to stop so you can just scip the waiting and seeing part, i think the best thing would be to talk to ashley and tell her that your feeling like that, its the only way theyre going to know

icarus_angel06

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Melnoli

PostPosted: Wed Jan 30, 2008 9:32 pm


I don't think you're overreacting, and I've been there. Are you close enough to them that you can say something about how you feel so left out? If they're good friends they should try to rectify the problem, and if they don't or tell you you're overreacting you know they've got different ideas to you to how close you are, and you'd be best to cut them loose to an extent, for your own sake
PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 3:01 pm


Your not overeacting, this happens to everyone sooner or later, but life goes on. You can always try telling them how you feel 3nodding If they are real freinds, they won't get mad at you for it.

Xx--BroKenForEver--xX


Glaneib

PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 3:16 pm


when that happens to me i walk away ^_^ then the relise what they were doing (after a loonnggg time) and said sry
PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 3:35 pm


I'd recommend talking to them about it, at least a little. And you are definitely not overreacting.

WickedSong


Goldghoti

Genius

PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 7:36 pm


awwwwww... that's so sad... *pats*
i think the best thing you can do is to just tell them. it might seem akward or embarassing at first, but they are your best friends and they will understand! you'll work it out!
PostPosted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 7:50 pm


I feel sympathy for you, hun. :I
I've gone through that maybe once or twice, but it wasn't as intense as this.
Even if you say you don't like Brandon more as a friend, you're jealous of how they're always together. &due to the fact that both BrandonandAshly are your best friends, and are leaving you out of the hangouts/activities/etc. etc. obviously you do feel left out.
I don't think they're doing it on purpose.. although, I can't help but think that they're aware of your situation but don't know what to do about it.
I suggest talking to Brandon about it first.. or if you'd like talk to Ashly first.
As their best friend, you have the right to let them know that you're hurting inside because they're making you feel like a "third wheel" - or worse.
&as you mentioned, this has been going on for a while now.. and I believe I understand how much you have to endure and keep your emotions about the situation a secret. I don't think you should endure the pain for so long, because it could cause a bit of a mental problem - not literally, but I think you have a feeling as to what I mean by it.

Just do what you think is right.. but don't forget to think things through.
I totally understand how it feels to be left out while everyone else seems to be so comfortable about their position and everything they do. The feeling is very distressing.. &unwanted.

:I

x_Satomi


yomi-san92

PostPosted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 8:13 pm


No, you're not overreacting. You're just human like everyone else here (no offense to those who aren't human). Maybe you could try dropping little hints to him like "Well I'm pretty good at that too," or you could just not respond at all when he starts praising her. OR you could do what I do storm away dramatically whenever you feel insulted or left out.

Oh yeah, talk to them- It helps. Then maybe you could work with them to find a solution.

If they keep on doing this to you then you need to find other peeps to hang out with.

(btw- I hear it's not always the best thing to hang out in groups of three. One person ends up feeling left out. So maybe just do some one on one time?)
PostPosted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 1:33 pm


Yeah, I don't think you are overreacting,, Just don't let it build up, or you're going to vent at a really bad time,, try to let them know at a good time- the sooner the better.

-j e l i j e l i-

Assimilated Lunatic


Glaneib

PostPosted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 1:29 pm


But yea i would have to agree with them for the most part..talk to the one your closer with about how you feel with the whole thing

(and TromboneGrrl like your sig about low brass XD)
PostPosted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 5:02 pm


youre not ovverreacting, i have a very similar problem. heres my advice: stay friends with them of course, but go out and maybe try to make some other friends that you can go out and do stuff with while theyre away doing whatever theyre doing, and that will make you feel better about yourself. and maybe hint to them a bit about how you feel... maybe try to sound a bit sad or something when brandon goes on a rant about ashley... that way they wont be totally freaked out by you having a meltdown or something, or think youre being immature (youre not, but some people might not understand and think that you are when theyre getting everything they want and cant relate) but maybe theyll get the hint and try to tone it down a bit

ghost_notes

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