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2008 ELECTION LIVE COVERAGE ** (what about INDIANA??) Goto Page: [] [<] 1 2 3 ... 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 [>] [»|]

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Let's keep the political debate and any nastiness
46%
 46%  [ 13 ]
out of this thread, however.
53%
 53%  [ 15 ]
Total Votes : 28


The Real Stephen Colbert

PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 5:37 pm


Psst! I got here five minutes early so I could report all the latest news before Jon, since he hogged it all last time!
PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 5:38 pm


Let me just consult my notebook here... Ah hah! Sources have called confidently called Kentucky, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Oklahoma for John McCain! Also, I have been told that McCain is now leading in Indiana! So HAH, Barack Obama! That shows you!

The Real Stephen Colbert


The Real Jon Stewart

PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 5:41 pm


Stephen? Are you here already? We weren't supposed to start yet.
PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 5:42 pm


I'm making up my own rules, Jon! You've become obsolete! Outdated! Viewers only want to see me! Exit polls say so!

The Real Stephen Colbert


The Real Jon Stewart

PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 5:43 pm


Wh-- wait, what? Exit polls say that?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 5:44 pm


I'm talking about the ones in here, Jon! *taps chest* You've got to listen to the voice that counts!

The Real Stephen Colbert


The Real Jon Stewart

PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 5:45 pm


... Alright. Whatever you say. Who have you already announced?
PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 5:47 pm


The report's all done, Jon! You missed it! I did it all without you!

The Real Stephen Colbert


The Real Jon Stewart

PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 5:51 pm


No, Stephen, I'm looking at it right now. You've only reported a couple of the states. Sources say that in addition to the states announced for McCain, Vermont has already been called for Obama, and the following states have been confidently projected for Obama: Pennsylvania, Illinois, New Jersey, Massachusetts, the District of Columbia, and Maryland.

North Carolina, Cenneticut, New Hampshire, Maine, and Delaware have also been only slightly less confidently projected for Obama.
PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 5:52 pm


You don't really believe those states matter, do you, Jon?

The Real Stephen Colbert


The Real Jon Stewart

PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 5:53 pm


Uhhh... it's true that none of the eleven crucial swing states have been projected, but all the states matter, Stephen.
PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 5:54 pm


Hah! Yes! Obama has yet to carry a single swing state! Things are looking good for the good guys!

The Real Stephen Colbert


The Real Jon Stewart

PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 5:56 pm


Stephen, polls haven't even closed yet in most of them! And it takes longer than that to count votes!

Also, there are some issues with absentee ballots in Florida, but to unclear directions. Officials are still deciding whether or not to count them.
PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 5:57 pm


Hey, if they're not patriotic to be in America during the election, and they can't even correctly fill out a form, they shouldn't get a vote!

The Real Stephen Colbert

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