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 Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 9:24 pm
Super Buick well, i was going though tektek and came up with this. it's simple, yet it means a lot to me. this is exactly how i looked 10 years ago on january 9th, 1998. black suit, red tie, sunglasses, and a single red rose. it was probably the saddest day of my life. let me take you back a short time before that. my girlfriend at the time and i had an arguement on december 19,1997. i caused the arguement, trying to make myself out to be an a*****e. i had to break up with her. her brother didn't want a white guy dating his sister. yes, she was black. anyway, he threatened to kill me if i didn't end things with her. so i did what i felt i had to do. i knew i was going away for a week to visit my family here. so, hours before i left, i started an arguement with her.it ended horribly. i said many things i'll admittedly regret the rest of my life. as i left her, unknowingly, for the last time i told her that i never really loved her. then i came home for the holiday season. while i was away, she wrote me a letter saying "this isn't your fault" and mailed it to the house i was staying at while i was going to school. on december 20, 1997, she took a bottle of sleeping pills, and followed it with half a bottle of vodka. while i was home on christmas break, i decided that i was willing to face whatever her brother would throw at me. i decided that i would rather die having her than live without her.when i came back on january 9th, 1998, i went to her mom's house in my black suit and a single red rose to apologize for my stupidity. her mom cried when she saw me and told me the news. my heart sank as the words "she's gone" came out of her mouth. she took me to the burial spot, where i laid the single red rose on her headstone and said that i was sorry. and now, nearing on the 10th year anniversary, i still hold a good deal of the blame on my shoulders. i don't think that's something i will ever truly forgive myself for. i'm not looking for sympathy, nor am i gonna rain on anyone's parade of holiday joy. i just thought i'd explain why this avi is very sentimental. when the 10th year anniversary of my goodbye to her is over, i'll change it again. sorry about the wall of text. Thank you for sharing that with us, that must have been a truly awful thing to go through. I know you must have heard it before, but it really wasn't your fault...
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Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 1:41 am
Doressa Thank you for sharing that with us, that must have been a truly awful thing to go through. I know you must have heard it before, but it really wasn't your fault... deep down, i know i can't really blame myself for her actions. but there's a part of me that asks "what if?" what if i didn't end things the way i did? those things are what bothers me more than anything else.
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Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 9:17 am
Super Buick Doressa Thank you for sharing that with us, that must have been a truly awful thing to go through. I know you must have heard it before, but it really wasn't your fault... deep down, i know i can't really blame myself for her actions. but there's a part of me that asks "what if?" what if i didn't end things the way i did? those things are what bothers me more than anything else. I know you must, it would be strange if you didn't, but the fact remains that people break up every day, and it is always sad, but it is a part of life that we have all had to deal with. It's just sad that she didn't feel able to lean on friends and family while she was feeling so down....
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Posted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 9:23 am
That had to have been hard. I cannot fathom what you must have gone through. It saddens me that racial tensions still exist, and that they so often harm the bonds of love (romantic, friendship, family) etc. It's a shame people have to get hurt because of fear and ignorance.
There is something to be said when people dedicate their avatars to a worthy cause, you and Bakura Amane have both impressed me with your dedications past and present.
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Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 11:15 am
This is my 1 year old guild special. Since my guild is now 1 year old today, I got the balloon out to celebrate. I use that item to mark dates like that.
Look in my sig for the guild. That's mine. (Well the one I founded, that is)
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Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 5:39 pm
Tillisnut This is my 1 year old guild special. Since my guild is now 1 year old today, I got the balloon out to celebrate. I use that item to mark dates like that. Look in my sig for the guild. That's mine. (Well the one I founded, that is) Congratulations!
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Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 10:54 pm
Well its not a huge change i guess.. wearing the new pants i won in MP and my new cane.. Over all I "think" the out fit looks good..
Edit: and yet when I post its still showing the avi i just changed out of... Yes.. fear the light half mask of Wolfie...
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Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 10:58 am
Doressa Tillisnut This is my 1 year old guild special. Since my guild is now 1 year old today, I got the balloon out to celebrate. I use that item to mark dates like that. Look in my sig for the guild. That's mine. (Well the one I founded, that is) Congratulations! Thanks! smile I like it over here quite a bit as well. 21+ has a pretty friendly group. I always like checking out the new avatars in here. Yours is nice as well. (no change today, but maybe later)
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Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 1:07 pm
Super Buick Doressa Thank you for sharing that with us, that must have been a truly awful thing to go through. I know you must have heard it before, but it really wasn't your fault... deep down, i know i can't really blame myself for her actions. but there's a part of me that asks "what if?" what if i didn't end things the way i did? those things are what bothers me more than anything else. you shouldnt look at what ifs but what was and what will be you know what was and you will have those memories to cherish thats what you should remeber and the what will be's are what you do and how you grow from what has happened we should never dwell on what ifs what ifs have never happened the memories yuo have the what was they are real the what nows what will be's they will be real
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Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 8:19 pm
Not entirely sure what to call this one, but I always wanted to a dark elf and the inspiration for this one sort of came from nowhere. This is probably one of my favorites of recent memory.
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Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 9:02 pm
Super Buick well, i was going though tektek and came up with this. it's simple, yet it means a lot to me. this is exactly how i looked 10 years ago on january 9th, 1998. black suit, red tie, sunglasses, and a single red rose. it was probably the saddest day of my life. let me take you back a short time before that. my girlfriend at the time and i had an arguement on december 19,1997. i caused the arguement, trying to make myself out to be an a*****e. i had to break up with her. her brother didn't want a white guy dating his sister. yes, she was black. anyway, he threatened to kill me if i didn't end things with her. so i did what i felt i had to do. i knew i was going away for a week to visit my family here. so, hours before i left, i started an arguement with her.it ended horribly. i said many things i'll admittedly regret the rest of my life. as i left her, unknowingly, for the last time i told her that i never really loved her. then i came home for the holiday season. while i was away, she wrote me a letter saying "this isn't your fault" and mailed it to the house i was staying at while i was going to school. on december 20, 1997, she took a bottle of sleeping pills, and followed it with half a bottle of vodka. while i was home on christmas break, i decided that i was willing to face whatever her brother would throw at me. i decided that i would rather die having her than live without her.when i came back on january 9th, 1998, i went to her mom's house in my black suit and a single red rose to apologize for my stupidity. her mom cried when she saw me and told me the news. my heart sank as the words "she's gone" came out of her mouth. she took me to the burial spot, where i laid the single red rose on her headstone and said that i was sorry. and now, nearing on the 10th year anniversary, i still hold a good deal of the blame on my shoulders. i don't think that's something i will ever truly forgive myself for. i'm not looking for sympathy, nor am i gonna rain on anyone's parade of holiday joy. i just thought i'd explain why this avi is very sentimental. when the 10th year anniversary of my goodbye to her is over, i'll change it again. sorry about the wall of text. I'm not very good at speaking on things like this, but I can't imagine what that must have been like for you. That's a great thing of you to do, dedicating your avatar like that.
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Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 10:41 pm
So what cha think?
Honestly, I'm a little afraid. gonk
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Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 11:02 pm
Noirkaze So what cha think? Honestly, I'm a little afraid. gonk it downright looks like x-mas puked all over you! blaugh
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Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 8:05 am
Changed a few days ago into what I've been wearing in real life, but I may change again with some of the new items that have hit the stores. 3nodding (not real soon though mind you since I'm majorly busy preparing for my final project AND just don't feel like chatting much lately) heart
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Posted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 2:10 pm
Okay, so I changed to a festive looking avatar and decided this would work as a dedication, too. 3nodding So, I dedicate this avatar to my parents because my mom helped me make this look cute and my dad because he always seemed to love me in red (even though I despised it). heart
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