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Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2005 3:00 pm
(before you read this understand its meant as a song and not just a poem, so i cleaned it up a little to be fit more as a poem althought it still feels more like a song. to see the whole thing as it originally was view my journal) RAGE (V2.0)You make me feel like I'm trapped in a cage You prove my every violent fantasy involving death This hate is only building up with age I hate you and your every breath You are the one that makes my life pale and beige Now ******** die and be laid to rest!
Hope you can't see what I'm planning Just bleed
You were never afraid of me, you turned my life into living sodemy I feel like sodemy inside of me You better fear me now, now you have one determined enemy You've made an enemy out of me Now I won't let you be free, you took a piece away from me This epidemy pit of me ...taken away from me Now you never again will be seen, you killed my good now evil's all thats left You were the effigy after me
Hope you can't see what I'm planning Just bleed Dope you can't see what I'm planning You'll bleed
I never wanted to be near you, I never wanted to fear you I ******** hate you and your big mouth's only making it worse Just shut the hell up, ******** yourself up, 'cause I've had enough If you don't ******** close your mouth... If you don't close your goddamn mouth... I ******** staple it shut, rip off your face, and shove it inside you You Better hope you can't see what I'm planning Just bleed Dumbshit dope you can't see what I'm planning Just bleed I hope you can't see what I'm planning Just bleed!
You were never afraid of me, you turned my life into living sodemy You rendered then I surrendered You better fear me now, now you have one determined enemy You built this makeshift hate rift Now I won't let you be free, you took a piece away from me Hate is my fever ...my reaper Now you never again will be seen, you killed my good now evil's all thats left I will severre forever!
Shoved my face through broken glass Stuck a razor up my a** Chained my face shut with a mask Leaked my blood out till I ran out of mass Locking me air-tight in a room full of CO gas Sealing my soul shut in a flask Making sure 'help' I'd never be able to ask My body's twenty-five feet underneath the grass And you don't stop dishing out more Constantly throwing me to the floor Closing me off to life and closing the door You truly expect me to take some more You have no clue what is in store!
Hope you can't see what I'm planning Just ******** just bleed! Bleed until you concede! Your soul can no longer be freed! Just bleed! Lust supersede!
I will severre forever, severre forever! Severre this forever! Severre you forever! Severre forever!
Hope you can't see what I'm planning Just bleed! Must bleed!
Pull the trigger, make my day, I won't be afraid ...TRY ME! Pull the trigger, end my days, are you that afraid?
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Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 3:42 pm
Not one of my best, but it did get published. The one after it is scheduled to be published but I don't really feel for either of them. ______________________________
What Keeps Me Here
What keeps me here Has always been nothing more than the unborn tear Which would touch your face forevermore.
Thus, is my sentence to remain in lonely solitude here. For the sadness you'd obtain Would make me shed many a tear.
It may seem forever crazy since I only seem to care for you. For without a single thought or wince, You'd slash my heart in two.
I feel the sadness closing quickly in. It may seem like madness, But I'm deeply hurting within.
What keeps me here is nothing more than the unshed tear Which would touch your face forevermore. ______________________________
Depression Her sorrow hidden by careful discretion, Her heart mourns, her face bares suppression When troubled, she acts with simple aggression Nothing’s right in her life’s progression Drowned by the blank misimpression She is headed in the wrong direction, All due to this emptiness called Depression _______________________________
Classification of the Scarred
You note the pallid lines along my arms, The long pants, And instantly you know.
I am a cutter. Skilled with a razor. Dangerous.
Quiet, thinking you know My past My pain.
You scoot away from me, And I try not to care As you discreetly
Scan me Head to Toe.
And once again I suffer The Classification of The Scarred. __________________________
Flaunting your ‘natural’ Good Looks. Your fake eyelashes Upturned outrageously. Your eyes, perfectly colored To match your hair and skin, You look over My simplistic eyeliner, My uncombed hair, The chipped black polish, The circles under my eyes, The fresh red lines Imprinted on my wrists. The wrinkled black shirt. The ripped jeans The useless b***h Whose brown eyes Forgive and accuse. Only a Freak Would look like Me. _______________________________________ Hope you like.
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Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 3:46 pm
This next one just combines a lot of short poems I wrote. _________________________________________________
One Last Warning
Do you really care? Cause you never even been there. But it doesn’t matter now.
And I’m not gonna cry. So don’t even try To put me down.
I don’t even care now. Cause it doesn’t matter how. Just let me live my own life.
You made me live a lie. I still wonder why. But at least I can handle the past.
I’m in for a rough time, And as it is, I have no reason to deal with your slime. So, keep your distance from me.
And if you try to make me see How good the world can be, Just give up while you still can.
Tell me I’m cold That I’m way too bold. But I do have my reasons.
I have survived. Yeah, I’m still alive. But why should you give a damn?
You say you can’t understand me. But do you think I can’t see How much pain you want me to feel?
Yeah, no one can tame my wrath. I will walk my own path. No one can withstand my empty rage.
Nothing can stand in my way. Those who persecute will pay. Pay attention, 'cause this is your only warning.
Here I go again Never will I pretend That I don’t feel the rage.
And if this be my last breath, If I am an inch from death, I’ll still hold to my anger.
I feel like I’m losing my mind, I need to break loose from my bind, I’m gonna go crazy someday.
I’ve fallen from grace, These are tears on my face, I ain’t askin’ for your sympathy.
No need for sympathy, Just notice me, Just acknowledge my existence.
I’m a sickness to your soul, And your heart is just not whole When this plague comes to call.
“The body is a fragile thing“, The razors that rip through me sing. Yes, I admit, I’m a plague unto myself.
And while I’m feeling all this rage, Just lock me in a heartless cage. Come on, you know you want to.
If you fear, just turn the page, Or close the book, lock the cage, It’s not your sanity that’s lost.
You say you think you’re sane, I just say you’re vain, You can’t admit that you’re exactly like me.
I have lost my mind, There’s nothing left to find, But at least I can admit the truth.
As the unconventional, I’m a sinner, As the loner, I’m no winner. I have no reason left.
One last warning to those I pray Who will know enough to stay away. I can’t take it anymore.
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Posted: Sun Dec 25, 2005 11:18 am
EYEBALL Look me in the eye and when you say it The game just started but you want to quit You know who you killed but just won't admit Laid to rest at last, you can't say this is the best that's fast Disregarded but retarded it has come to this Bite me once more and through your face you'll piss You were the one who grabbed my eyeball and pulled You gave me this s**t hand and to respond I fold
Rip it apart! There was never a start! Rip it apart! You can't be that smart! Rip it apart! I'll stick my hand through your heart! Tear it apart! You taste somewhat tart
You put all your eggs in one basket and I'll slap it away In need of a casket, you'll be glad you decay Still choking on corpse, you still feel your mind warps But now it doesn't matter cause you like when you shatter Your life is a hole, but you say its one that you stole Just take your eyeball and squeeze until out it will fall
Rip it apart! There was never a start! Rip it apart! You can't be that smart! Rip it apart! I'll stick my hand through your heart! Tear it apart! You taste somewhat tart Rip it apart! Rip it apart! Rip it apart! Tear it apart!
What time is it now? You nailed me to my vow I still wonder how I will not allow Why not endow C'mon let's plow!
Rip it apart! There was never a start! Rip it apart! You can't be that smart! Rip it apart! I'll stick my hand through your heart! Tear it apart! You taste somewhat tart
Take your eyeball and throw it over the wall! Take your eyeball and throw it over the wall! Take your eyeball and throw it over the wall! Take your eyeball and throw it over the wall! Take your eyeball and throw it over the wall! Take your eyeball and throw it over the wall!
Rip it apart! There was never a start! Rip it apart! You can't be that smart! Rip it apart! I'll stick my hand through your heart! Tear it apart! You taste somewhat tart Rip it apart! Rip it apart! Rip it apart! Rip it apart!
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Posted: Mon Dec 26, 2005 12:47 am
Sins of the Broken Ones:Everyone Has They're Own Story Some of us smile Not because we want to but because we're hurt Some laugh because it's the only way they can seem to be happy We're all cut up Deep down inside No one's higher then anyone else That's just the way it is But we're all different And we have our own story's to say Our own secrets to keep And our own way of living day by day Everybody's flawed And that's just the way it works Nobody's perfect And that's the way it's suppose to be But some of us try to find it You know? That light? To make sure somethings waiting for us Or not But even those people, no matter who they may be Sometimes never reach their goal Because it's sometimes to far to reach Other's become stars And sadly look down And frown at the things they once knew The past they wish to forget And the people who hurt them too And then there are those From the Bums To the Drinkers To the people who've lost their way And those who try to drown themselves in alchohol And drink the past away A gulp for each sin A bottle for every memory Some I have come to know Hang bottles from their trees To show the world they've sinned And bow and pray to 'God' on their knees But it just leads more and more to the saying Everybody makes mistakes Everyone sins Lust Gluttony Greed Sloth Wrath Envy And Pride This only proves nobody really wins Perfection is a fantasy It is rashinally impossible Why? Because if we were all perfect we'd all be the same If we were not flawed Then being human would have no point Our imperfections are what makes us Us And our mistakes make us stronger And help us try to see what's coming next But the mistakes We have made Can be life changing At a young age I learned that I knew But some minds Souls Take no heeds to their mistakes From the cold slap with a belt A lie A tear A Broken Heart A Rape A mistake No body says anything anymore They just let things happen But There are those who try to stand up But end up falling Or getting pushed down in the process And sometimes Most of the time No one helps them back up It is those kind of people who help themselves up And learn not only from the mistakes they've made but the mistakes of others I Once Heard A Tormented Person Makes A Mistake and Doesn't Learn From It And Keeps On Making that Mistake While A Smart Person Learns and Never Makes that Mistake Again But As For a Wise Soul, Person, they not only Learn From their Mistakes, but from the Mistakes of Others I guess those who make mistakes And fight perfection And help themselves thrive Are the ones who should be the stars On Hollywood sidewalks And their faces on the big screen Who should be cheered on at concerts And it's true Some are But then again some aren't Some pain is so Painful Those who try to survive End up dying Maybe not physically But Mentally And the person's mistake who caused that Tragedy May have regrets But In the mean time I'll stop jabbering So you don't have to keep reading. But just incase you're thinking about it Think nice and hard Because I know I've atleast sinned over more then the Gods themself would let me... __________________________________________________________
Through the Hour Glass: She's Crying But She's Safe I see her and shes crying Stainless grains of sand Her body has no clothing And her tears shine yet noone understands Shes figured out the formula To life's cruel hard race She's figured how to forget the smiles And lower down the pace She's wandering alone In her own little world That's not hers anymore She's learned her lesson yet noone else has learned theirs Her eyes are closed and yet she wakes, she stirs None is to blame And yet she twists the sands of time Her life is apart of a grain in a hour glass just like yours and mine Her friends are past and buried yet she still finds their memomries Her tears of sand like the ocean floor Lost among the endless seas Her mind is gone and yet she lives on Day by day a peice of her just fades away But she doesn't mind she doesn't care It's not like her soul is actually there She's happy in the world thats not hers She's happy in the state shes in And how the ocean current of her life stirs But yet shes stuck in an hour glass Fighting for her life And yet we watch her and see her Every day and night She's the glass that drops a grain of sand For every Minute Second Hour And Chance We get And also just another example On how humanity looks at the hour glass ___________________________________________________________
*Pulls Trigger*: Bang Bang Tear blood stains Anger through veins People with razors Cops with tazors Insanity all around Running so fast my feet don't touch the ground Innocence had been taken The devils of the streets awaken Run was all that went through the mind Trying to get to hiding spots impossible to find Caught Barrel loaded Trigger Ready Time stopped I stopped Bang Bang Said the gun Bang Bang Said the cop Bang Bang Said I
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 10:04 am
this is actually more of a song than a poem, but pretty much the same thing BARBED-WIRE BLINDFOLD I don't know why I am still talking I don't know why I am still stalking All I can see is what's in front of me This green mile I am now walking I don't know why I am still talking I don't know why I am still stalking All I can see is what's in front of me This green mile I am now walking
Looking through these eyes Booking all my lies Dying to get by Flying off the side Another victum tonight Another wrong's now right Make me see the light But it looks too bright I can't control myself I'm falling off the shelf Looking like a lepered elf I don't know why I like this And you just break in my mind and take everything away!
I don't know why I am still talking I don't know why I am still stalking All I can see is what's in front of me This green mile I am now walking
If you think I'm a threat If I make you upset My direction's been preset The carcass feels very wet You think you know what I am Debating why I slam Blowing up the dam When I hear the speach of the ram My mental abortion Blown out of proportion Seeing only ugly exteriors I'm still feeling so inferior!
I don't know why I am still talking I don't know why I am still stalking All I can see is what's in front of me This green mile I am now walking I don't know why I am still talking I don't know why I am still stalking All I can see is what's in front of me This green mile I am now walking
I'm the effigy to be The effigy can't see The effigy erased Effigy disgraced The deity's disfaced The deity displaced Deity replaced Deity with no trace Apathy for my face Apathy of this race Just shut up and die You need to learn how to die Then teach me how to die Mentality is fine Just sit down and dine Scars and wine are the perfect combine Yet your slowly chipping away and taking your time!
Take it all back I'll stab you in the back I don't want it to last But it's been a blast Me and my obscenity You steal my life away from me Now I make your world look at me So full of conformity I break free to set free Making be inside of me Your dishing out some sodemy Feeling obtuse but now armed with a noose Maybe I'll bruise Maybe I'll lose Will it bleed? If it does I can make it concede I refuse to accept this enormity Feeling life without gravity Accusations, propositions, prosecutars are my executors What are you doing with my eyeball?!
I don't know why I am still talking I don't know why I am still stalking All I can see is what's in front of me This green mile I am now walking I don't know why I am still talking I don't know why I am still stalking All I can see is what's in front of me This green mile I am now walking I don't know why I am still talking I don't know why I am still stalking All I can see is what's in front of me This green mile I am now walking
You force me to take this I want to break this Now we forsake this Donate to make this Bleeding out of every pour In my mind I'm only four My whole body's feeling sore My whole life is just a violent metaphor Yet you're still breaking my mind to take everything that's mine!
Now I'm waiting for you! I'm waiting for you!
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Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 4:58 pm
Plastered Smiles
Smile through your pain Laugh through your tears Never let them see What you realy feal
Never let them know That you'll never heal
Grin at their jokes Smile at their insults Never let them notice That your dying inside
Never let them know You are running out of time
Empty inside, hide your pain Don't let them see It will never be right again
Never let them know How you realy feal
Who you realy are And how you realy deal with the Pain Insults Numbness Hurt lies
So continue to smile Continue to laugh Keep a grin on your face Stay in denile
If they don't know If no one seams concerned You can pretend Oh sweet pretend That everything is fine
That everything is perfect That your not crossing the line Where you can't turn back
So keep that smile Plastered onto your face Never let them see The tears behind the grin The pain in your eyes The hurt behind the laugh The truth behind the lies
Keep pretending, you love it so Not having to face the truth Never letting it show
laugh through your pain smile through your tears never let them see What you realy fear
The truth, your pain
So I'll hide behind my lies and Plaster on the Smiles.
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 12:35 am
what should i do??...now you said you do not want me... my pain in my heart grows deeper and deeper into my soul... i cry all day and i cry all night thinking of what to do... i think to myself should i do suicide or not... should i kill you with a curse from my book or let you live forever... you broke my heart you know... it hurts to be put aside... should i kill you or my self what should i do?...
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 12:37 am
you...i love you thats all i could say when i first saw you... i always go to the same place you were and look at you from afar... when you looked at me i turn a light red... when are eyes meet my heart stops my body freezes and i thought i died and came back alive and when i tried to talk to you i could not say a word to you because all i could think about of was you...
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Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 4:40 am
Black-Winged Angel I By: Agnes Ortiz (ayashi_satu)
I One night I was staring at The black night sky And I couldn’t believe what I saw A black angel fell from the sky… and died
II I approached the dead seraph, and I was afraid As it had six black wings, and a white gold halo And then I knew that it was that moment When my love was torn, the time to lament
III I woke up in bed, gasping for breath Looking beyond the full blue moon Remembering my one The black-winged angel
IV Midnight, the time of his death When he razed my love from my beating heart Before he went to his eternal slumber Alas, my sanity was ripped asunder
V Day by day, night by night I thought of the six black wings on his back These resembled the fatal infidelities That stabbed me on my frail back
VI But I’m a fool; I still hunger for your black wings I still desire your love, yet false and alluring Fly to me, black-winged infidel Caress me, my black-winged angel
VII Make me cry one more time, come Strip me from my sanity; you’ve always made me insane The night when you died out in my heart, wasn’t true I know, because I’m a seraph too
VIII Come on, black-winged infidel, let’s kiss in the sky Don’t worry, we could fly I want you to fill my blazing desire Set my white wings on fire
IX The night you fell from the sky and died was my fault I let you go, and I deeply regret it But the time of resolving is near Will you forgive me, my dear?
X Let’s go home, you infidel Let’s hold hand and walk to the shores Let me wipe the tears that flow in your face Oh black-winged angel, cry no more
XI One night, we will walk in the radiance of the moon And then, I will slowly spread my wings And embrace you with my six wings And I will give you a wedding ring
“Marry me, black winged angel”
Je veux vous tenir dans des mes bras jusqu'au jour du jour I que je meurs. Vous savez pourquoi ? Puisque je t'aime. M'aimerez-vous en arrière ? Veuillez être ma petite amie.
Je vous promets, vous ne le déplorerai pas.
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Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 4:42 am
The Black Winged Angel II WINGS OF SOLITUDE By Agnes Ortiz (ayashi_satu)
I You braced me with your burning wings Unable to unchain the grief within Breathing deeply into my ears The sorrow of your darkest fears
II Wings of darkness, ties that bind Tears that won’t leave the past behind Haunting memories of your passionate stare Such obsession which I cannot bear
III How long must I endure such torment? Your Black Wings are the reason of my lament For all six of them spawned your infidelity Thus you fell into obscurity
IV I reached for your hand, as a lover would And as you graced it, I grew wings of my own Lush and white as a sweet etude You gave me the wings of solitude
V Dawn, the time of our rebirth As we fly above the highest clouds The celestial view of our forbidden destiny Lies before our eyes; beyond my own sanity
VI We cannot be attuned as one Yet I’ll struggle, for you’re the only one The only one within me An enchantment , my eyes could see
VII My death would mean nothing For I will rather die a thousand deaths Than to let our love be divided I will love thee, as I breathe my final breaths
VIII Shed the black feathers which clothe you As I will sacrifice the man who clothes me Oppressed by sorrow, a moonlit night Our burning passion won’t cease to ignite
IX We have fallen, deep into the snow The Black Wings have incinerated As a time to lament, tears will rain With our solitude, no deaths will be vain
X Once a Black Winged Angel Full of the agony which possessed her A Black Winged Angel no more Silenced by time, at last, darkness tore
XI Let me spread my wings of solitude I shall embrace you, as you did before me Its time to go home, my love Let me caress you, as we dive into the sea
XII Dear sweet tears of rain Let the Second Advent rain Immortal beloved cries of night Bestow upon us second sight
XIII Frigid breath as sorrow’s guise Bring my memories to its demise Silent night of a heartless sky Let the lies inside us die
J mpwf zpv
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Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 4:57 am
A Tear of Mourning By Agnes Ortiz (ayashi_satu)
Inside a heart full of sorrows I cry to let be morrow What more can I ask? Death is nearing me, at last!
A broken promise My tainted memories Our witty repartees Your false stories
A rose from red to black This feeling I always lack Happiness representing a knife The only thing I can offer is my life
Sorrowful sunset River of tears Shores of agony Blinded by fears
Washed away by the sin of the sea Marks weren't kept, don't you see? On the palm of tragedy You left so unsturdy
Never again will I feel tormented This melancholy consumes me The heavens have struck what I have left For they know you’re the only one I have kept
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Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 4:58 am
Love Untold By Agnes Ortiz (ayashi_satu)
Am I the one, the one who’s made for thee? Born of the passion, passion marked on me The soul of thy flesh, and blood which caused the pain A noble grief inside me, the purpose which will reign
I A passion that will always live Beyond the limits of sorrow’s sight Never ending cries conceive A secret love that was never told
A Secret Love Deafening silence, once foretold A secret that will never cease And if once exposed, darkness may hold The chalice of undying memories
II A great emotion that will hypnotize Three words that may paralyze A lover ought not to agonize The heart, made to sympathize
Agonize From the tears which caused my sanity Grew a single blood rose And from the depths of my insanity The agony will deteriorate; love arose
III A chronicle of a love to abide A sacrifice which I must confide Words of false sorrow Words of an infinite tomorrow
Love to Abide It must be spoken To the world filled with grief Words of which are never broken From the dawn of time; a fallen leaf
IV A deep longing for a romance to come Speak the words, and the songs do I hum An obsession which cradles my thoughts A love, which time itself had fought
Cradle of Thoughts Pleasant thoughts of a lover Filled with joy, and wounds of honor We seek a divided word, by love begun But never shall it be done
V No death shall rip us asunder Nor shall guilt make us hinder It is well with our hearts, a trembling obsession Such emotions, of the true passion
Trembling Obsession An inerasable sensation Of the greatest love untold, a sanctity Until we can see; divine segregation We shall be bound for all eternity
VI We speak the secret love behind The paragon of our liberty The hope which will bind Our love’s divinity
Love’s Divinity Arousing such passion, love divine I must speak the words: he is mine Forever and a day, until the dusk of judgment No longer shall there be great lament…
Am I the one, the one who’s made for thee? Born of the truth, truth marked on me No longer shall death reign With a love untold, freedom will reign
(Let me love you, till the end of time)
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Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 4:59 am
The Hell With Your Death Mass by Agnes Ortiz (ayashi_satu)
The hell with your death mass Where hearts are ripped apart I'll mark your grave with the blood of my hands And smear it with the tears you've brought me
The hell with your death dress Which I patiently stitched for you I used the hair on your head Just to make it look good
The hell with your black coffin Which holds your body inside Keeping you in silent solitude And gently fading away with you, under your grave
The hell with your death choir Where the voices of purgatory condemn May the songs of Darkness Soothe your burning heart
The hell with your death hearse Which delivers you to your grave And as we walk you to the cemetery I'm the only one who gives a damn
The hell with your tombstone In which your name is carved And as I read the name of the rose I've realized what I've done
The hell with your memories Which haunt me day by day As you accuse me for your death Yet love me evermore..
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