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 Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2005 3:00 pm
(before you read this understand its meant as a song and not just a poem, so i cleaned it up a little to be fit more as a poem althought it still feels more like a song. to see the whole thing as it originally was view my journal) RAGE (V2.0)You make me feel like I'm trapped in a cage
You prove my every violent fantasy involving death
This hate is only building up with age
I hate you and your every breath
You are the one that makes my life pale and beige
Now ******** die and be laid to rest!
Hope you can't see what I'm planning
Just bleed
You were never afraid of me, you turned my life into living sodemy
I feel like sodemy inside of me
You better fear me now, now you have one determined enemy
You've made an enemy out of me
Now I won't let you be free, you took a piece away from me
This epidemy pit of me ...taken away from me
Now you never again will be seen, you killed my good now evil's all thats left
You were the effigy after me
Hope you can't see what I'm planning
Just bleed
Dope you can't see what I'm planning
You'll bleed
I never wanted to be near you, I never wanted to fear you
I ******** hate you and your big mouth's only making it worse
Just shut the hell up, ******** yourself up, 'cause I've had enough
If you don't ******** close your mouth...
If you don't close your goddamn mouth...
I ******** staple it shut, rip off your face, and shove it inside you
You Better hope you can't see what I'm planning
Just bleed
Dumbshit dope you can't see what I'm planning
Just bleed
I hope you can't see what I'm planning
Just bleed!
You were never afraid of me, you turned my life into living sodemy
You rendered then I surrendered
You better fear me now, now you have one determined enemy
You built this makeshift hate rift
Now I won't let you be free, you took a piece away from me
Hate is my fever ...my reaper
Now you never again will be seen, you killed my good now evil's all thats left
I will severre forever!
Shoved my face through broken glass
Stuck a razor up my a**
Chained my face shut with a mask
Leaked my blood out till I ran out of mass
Locking me air-tight in a room full of CO gas
Sealing my soul shut in a flask
Making sure 'help' I'd never be able to ask
My body's twenty-five feet underneath the grass
And you don't stop dishing out more
Constantly throwing me to the floor
Closing me off to life and closing the door
You truly expect me to take some more
You have no clue what is in store!
Hope you can't see what I'm planning
Just ******** just bleed!
Bleed until you concede!
Your soul can no longer be freed!
Just bleed!
Lust supersede!
I will severre forever, severre forever!
Severre this forever!
Severre you forever!
Severre forever!
Hope you can't see what I'm planning
Just bleed!
Must bleed!
Pull the trigger, make my day, I won't be afraid ...TRY ME!
Pull the trigger, end my days, are you that afraid?
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Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 3:42 pm
Not one of my best, but it did get published. The one after it is scheduled to be published but I don't really feel for either of them.
______________________________
What Keeps Me Here
What keeps me here
Has always been nothing more
than the unborn tear
Which would touch your face forevermore.
Thus, is my sentence to remain
in lonely solitude here.
For the sadness you'd obtain
Would make me shed many a tear.
It may seem forever crazy since
I only seem to care for you.
For without a single thought or wince,
You'd slash my heart in two.
I feel the sadness
closing quickly in.
It may seem like madness,
But I'm deeply hurting within.
What keeps me here
is nothing more
than the unshed tear
Which would touch your face forevermore.
______________________________
Depression
Her sorrow hidden by careful discretion,
Her heart mourns, her face bares suppression
When troubled, she acts with simple aggression
Nothing’s right in her life’s progression
Drowned by the blank misimpression
She is headed in the wrong direction,
All due to this emptiness called
Depression
_______________________________
Classification of the Scarred
You note the pallid lines along my arms,
The long pants,
And instantly you know.
I am a cutter.
Skilled with a razor.
Dangerous.
Quiet, thinking you know
My past
My pain.
You scoot away from me,
And I try not to care
As you discreetly
Scan me
Head to
Toe.
And once again I suffer
The Classification of
The Scarred.
__________________________
Flaunting your ‘natural’
Good Looks.
Your fake eyelashes
Upturned outrageously.
Your eyes, perfectly colored
To match your hair and skin,
You look over
My simplistic eyeliner,
My uncombed hair,
The chipped black polish,
The circles under my eyes,
The fresh red lines
Imprinted on my wrists.
The wrinkled black shirt.
The ripped jeans
The useless b***h
Whose brown eyes
Forgive and accuse.
Only a
Freak
Would look like
Me.
_______________________________________
Hope you like.
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Posted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 3:46 pm
This next one just combines a lot of short poems I wrote.
_________________________________________________
One Last Warning
Do you really care?
Cause you never even been there.
But it doesn’t matter now.
And I’m not gonna cry.
So don’t even try
To put me down.
I don’t even care now.
Cause it doesn’t matter how.
Just let me live my own life.
You made me live a lie.
I still wonder why.
But at least I can handle the past.
I’m in for a rough time,
And as it is, I have no reason to deal with your slime.
So, keep your distance from me.
And if you try to make me see
How good the world can be,
Just give up while you still can.
Tell me I’m cold
That I’m way too bold.
But I do have my reasons.
I have survived.
Yeah, I’m still alive.
But why should you give a damn?
You say you can’t understand me.
But do you think I can’t see
How much pain you want me to feel?
Yeah, no one can tame my wrath.
I will walk my own path.
No one can withstand my empty rage.
Nothing can stand in my way.
Those who persecute will pay.
Pay attention, 'cause this is your only warning.
Here I go again
Never will I pretend
That I don’t feel the rage.
And if this be my last breath,
If I am an inch from death,
I’ll still hold to my anger.
I feel like I’m losing my mind,
I need to break loose from my bind,
I’m gonna go crazy someday.
I’ve fallen from grace,
These are tears on my face,
I ain’t askin’ for your sympathy.
No need for sympathy,
Just notice me,
Just acknowledge my existence.
I’m a sickness to your soul,
And your heart is just not whole
When this plague comes to call.
“The body is a fragile thing“,
The razors that rip through me sing.
Yes, I admit, I’m a plague unto myself.
And while I’m feeling all this rage,
Just lock me in a heartless cage.
Come on, you know you want to.
If you fear, just turn the page,
Or close the book, lock the cage,
It’s not your sanity that’s lost.
You say you think you’re sane,
I just say you’re vain,
You can’t admit that you’re exactly like me.
I have lost my mind,
There’s nothing left to find,
But at least I can admit the truth.
As the unconventional, I’m a sinner,
As the loner, I’m no winner.
I have no reason left.
One last warning to those I pray
Who will know enough to stay away.
I can’t take it anymore.
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Posted: Sun Dec 25, 2005 11:18 am
EYEBALL
Look me in the eye and when you say it
The game just started but you want to quit
You know who you killed but just won't admit
Laid to rest at last, you can't say this is the best that's fast
Disregarded but retarded it has come to this
Bite me once more and through your face you'll piss
You were the one who grabbed my eyeball and pulled
You gave me this s**t hand and to respond I fold
Rip it apart!
There was never a start!
Rip it apart!
You can't be that smart!
Rip it apart!
I'll stick my hand through your heart!
Tear it apart!
You taste somewhat tart
You put all your eggs in one basket and I'll slap it away
In need of a casket, you'll be glad you decay
Still choking on corpse, you still feel your mind warps
But now it doesn't matter cause you like when you shatter
Your life is a hole, but you say its one that you stole
Just take your eyeball and squeeze until out it will fall
Rip it apart!
There was never a start!
Rip it apart!
You can't be that smart!
Rip it apart!
I'll stick my hand through your heart!
Tear it apart!
You taste somewhat tart
Rip it apart!
Rip it apart!
Rip it apart!
Tear it apart!
What time is it now?
You nailed me to my vow
I still wonder how
I will not allow
Why not endow
C'mon let's plow!
Rip it apart!
There was never a start!
Rip it apart!
You can't be that smart!
Rip it apart!
I'll stick my hand through your heart!
Tear it apart!
You taste somewhat tart
Take your eyeball and throw it over the wall!
Take your eyeball and throw it over the wall!
Take your eyeball and throw it over the wall!
Take your eyeball and throw it over the wall!
Take your eyeball and throw it over the wall!
Take your eyeball and throw it over the wall!
Rip it apart!
There was never a start!
Rip it apart!
You can't be that smart!
Rip it apart!
I'll stick my hand through your heart!
Tear it apart!
You taste somewhat tart
Rip it apart!
Rip it apart!
Rip it apart!
Rip it apart!
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Posted: Mon Dec 26, 2005 12:47 am
Sins of the Broken Ones:Everyone Has They're Own Story
Some of us smile
Not because we want to but because we're hurt
Some laugh because it's the only way they can seem to be happy
We're all cut up
Deep down inside
No one's higher then anyone else
That's just the way it is
But we're all different
And we have our own story's to say
Our own secrets to keep
And our own way of living day by day
Everybody's flawed
And that's just the way it works
Nobody's perfect
And that's the way it's suppose to be
But some of us try to find it
You know?
That light?
To make sure somethings waiting for us
Or not
But even those people, no matter who they may be
Sometimes never reach their goal
Because it's sometimes to far to reach
Other's become stars
And sadly look down
And frown at the things they once knew
The past they wish to forget
And the people who hurt them too
And then there are those
From the
Bums
To the
Drinkers
To the people who've lost their way
And those who try to drown themselves in alchohol
And drink the past away
A gulp for each sin
A bottle for every memory
Some I have come to know
Hang bottles from their trees
To show the world they've sinned
And bow and pray to 'God' on their knees
But it just leads more and more to the saying
Everybody makes mistakes
Everyone sins
Lust
Gluttony
Greed
Sloth
Wrath
Envy
And Pride
This only proves nobody really wins
Perfection is a fantasy
It is rashinally impossible
Why?
Because if we were all perfect we'd all be the same
If we were not flawed
Then being human would have no point
Our imperfections are what makes us
Us
And our mistakes make us stronger
And help us try to see what's coming next
But the mistakes
We have made
Can be life changing
At a young age I learned that
I knew
But some minds
Souls
Take no heeds to their mistakes
From the cold slap with a belt
A lie
A tear
A Broken Heart
A Rape
A mistake
No body says anything anymore
They just let things happen
But
There are those who try to stand up
But end up falling
Or getting pushed down in the process
And sometimes
Most of the time
No one helps them back up
It is those kind of people who help themselves up
And learn not only from the mistakes they've made but the mistakes of others
I Once Heard A Tormented Person Makes A Mistake and Doesn't Learn From It And Keeps On Making that Mistake
While A Smart Person Learns and Never Makes that Mistake Again
But As For a Wise Soul, Person, they not only Learn From their Mistakes, but from the Mistakes of Others
I guess those who make mistakes
And fight perfection
And help themselves thrive
Are the ones who should be the stars
On Hollywood sidewalks
And their faces on the big screen
Who should be cheered on at concerts
And it's true
Some are
But then again some aren't
Some pain is so
Painful
Those who try to survive
End up dying
Maybe not physically
But Mentally
And the person's mistake who caused that
Tragedy
May have regrets
But In the mean time
I'll stop jabbering
So you don't have to keep reading.
But just incase you're thinking about it
Think nice and hard
Because I know I've atleast sinned over more then the Gods themself would let me...
__________________________________________________________
Through the Hour Glass: She's Crying But She's Safe
I see her and shes crying
Stainless grains of sand
Her body has no clothing
And her tears shine yet noone understands
Shes figured out the formula
To life's cruel hard race
She's figured how to forget the smiles
And lower down the pace
She's wandering alone
In her own little world
That's not hers anymore
She's learned her lesson yet noone else has learned theirs
Her eyes are closed and yet she wakes, she stirs
None is to blame
And yet she twists the sands of time
Her life is apart of a grain in a hour glass just like yours and mine
Her friends are past and buried yet she still finds their memomries
Her tears of sand like the ocean floor
Lost among the endless seas
Her mind is gone and yet she lives on
Day by day a peice of her just fades away
But she doesn't mind she doesn't care
It's not like her soul is actually there
She's happy in the world thats not hers
She's happy in the state shes in
And how the ocean current of her life stirs
But yet shes stuck in an hour glass
Fighting for her life
And yet we watch her and see her
Every day and night
She's the glass that drops a grain of sand
For every
Minute
Second
Hour
And Chance
We get
And also just another example
On how humanity looks at the hour glass
___________________________________________________________
*Pulls Trigger*: Bang Bang
Tear blood stains
Anger through veins
People with razors
Cops with tazors
Insanity all around
Running so fast my feet don't touch the ground
Innocence had been taken
The devils of the streets awaken
Run was all that went through the mind
Trying to get to hiding spots impossible to find
Caught
Barrel loaded
Trigger Ready
Time stopped
I stopped
Bang Bang
Said the gun
Bang Bang
Said the cop
Bang Bang
Said I
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Posted: Sat Jan 07, 2006 10:04 am
this is actually more of a song than a poem, but pretty much the same thing BARBED-WIRE BLINDFOLD
I don't know why I am still talking
I don't know why I am still stalking
All I can see is what's in front of me
This green mile I am now walking
I don't know why I am still talking
I don't know why I am still stalking
All I can see is what's in front of me
This green mile I am now walking
Looking through these eyes
Booking all my lies
Dying to get by
Flying off the side
Another victum tonight
Another wrong's now right
Make me see the light
But it looks too bright
I can't control myself
I'm falling off the shelf
Looking like a lepered elf
I don't know why I like this
And you just break in my mind and take everything away!
I don't know why I am still talking
I don't know why I am still stalking
All I can see is what's in front of me
This green mile I am now walking
If you think I'm a threat
If I make you upset
My direction's been preset
The carcass feels very wet
You think you know what I am
Debating why I slam
Blowing up the dam
When I hear the speach of the ram
My mental abortion
Blown out of proportion
Seeing only ugly exteriors
I'm still feeling so inferior!
I don't know why I am still talking
I don't know why I am still stalking
All I can see is what's in front of me
This green mile I am now walking
I don't know why I am still talking
I don't know why I am still stalking
All I can see is what's in front of me
This green mile I am now walking
I'm the effigy to be
The effigy can't see
The effigy erased
Effigy disgraced
The deity's disfaced
The deity displaced
Deity replaced
Deity with no trace
Apathy for my face
Apathy of this race
Just shut up and die
You need to learn how to die
Then teach me how to die
Mentality is fine
Just sit down and dine
Scars and wine are the perfect combine
Yet your slowly chipping away and taking your time!
Take it all back
I'll stab you in the back
I don't want it to last
But it's been a blast
Me and my obscenity
You steal my life away from me
Now I make your world look at me
So full of conformity
I break free to set free
Making be inside of me
Your dishing out some sodemy
Feeling obtuse but now armed with a noose
Maybe I'll bruise
Maybe I'll lose
Will it bleed?
If it does I can make it concede
I refuse to accept this enormity
Feeling life without gravity
Accusations, propositions, prosecutars are my executors
What are you doing with my eyeball?!
I don't know why I am still talking
I don't know why I am still stalking
All I can see is what's in front of me
This green mile I am now walking
I don't know why I am still talking
I don't know why I am still stalking
All I can see is what's in front of me
This green mile I am now walking
I don't know why I am still talking
I don't know why I am still stalking
All I can see is what's in front of me
This green mile I am now walking
You force me to take this
I want to break this
Now we forsake this
Donate to make this
Bleeding out of every pour
In my mind I'm only four
My whole body's feeling sore
My whole life is just a violent metaphor
Yet you're still breaking my mind to take everything that's mine!
Now I'm waiting for you!
I'm waiting for you!
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Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2006 4:58 pm
Plastered Smiles
Smile through your pain
Laugh through your tears
Never let them see
What you realy feal
Never let them know
That you'll never heal
Grin at their jokes
Smile at their insults
Never let them notice
That your dying inside
Never let them know
You are running out of time
Empty inside, hide your pain
Don't let them see
It will never be right again
Never let them know
How you realy feal
Who you realy are
And how you realy deal
with the
Pain
Insults
Numbness
Hurt
lies
So continue to smile
Continue to laugh
Keep a grin on your face
Stay in denile
If they don't know
If no one seams concerned
You can pretend
Oh sweet pretend
That everything is fine
That everything is perfect
That your not crossing the line
Where you can't turn back
So keep that smile
Plastered onto your face
Never let them see
The tears behind the grin
The pain in your eyes
The hurt behind the laugh
The truth behind the lies
Keep pretending, you love it so
Not having to face the truth
Never letting it show
laugh through your pain
smile through your tears
never let them see
What you realy fear
The truth, your pain
So I'll hide behind my lies
and Plaster on the Smiles.
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 12:35 am
what should i do??...now you said you do not want me...
my pain in my heart grows deeper and deeper
into my soul...
i cry all day and i cry all night
thinking of what to do...
i think to myself
should i do suicide
or not...
should i kill you
with a curse from my book or let you live
forever...
you broke my heart you know...
it hurts
to be put aside...
should i kill you or my self
what should i do?...
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 12:37 am
you...i love you thats all i could say
when i first saw you...
i always go to the same place you
were
and look at you from afar...
when you looked at me i turn a light red...
when are eyes meet my heart stops
my body freezes and
i thought i died and came back alive
and when i tried to talk to you i could not
say a word to you because
all i could think about of was you...
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Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 4:40 am
Black-Winged Angel I
By: Agnes Ortiz
(ayashi_satu)
I
One night I was staring at
The black night sky
And I couldn’t believe what I saw
A black angel fell from the sky… and died
II
I approached the dead seraph, and I was afraid
As it had six black wings, and a white gold halo
And then I knew that it was that moment
When my love was torn, the time to lament
III
I woke up in bed, gasping for breath
Looking beyond the full blue moon
Remembering my one
The black-winged angel
IV
Midnight, the time of his death
When he razed my love from my beating heart
Before he went to his eternal slumber
Alas, my sanity was ripped asunder
V
Day by day, night by night
I thought of the six black wings on his back
These resembled the fatal infidelities
That stabbed me on my frail back
VI
But I’m a fool; I still hunger for your black wings
I still desire your love, yet false and alluring
Fly to me, black-winged infidel
Caress me, my black-winged angel
VII
Make me cry one more time, come
Strip me from my sanity; you’ve always made me insane
The night when you died out in my heart, wasn’t true
I know, because I’m a seraph too
VIII
Come on, black-winged infidel, let’s kiss in the sky
Don’t worry, we could fly
I want you to fill my blazing desire
Set my white wings on fire
IX
The night you fell from the sky and died was my fault
I let you go, and I deeply regret it
But the time of resolving is near
Will you forgive me, my dear?
X
Let’s go home, you infidel
Let’s hold hand and walk to the shores
Let me wipe the tears that flow in your face
Oh black-winged angel, cry no more
XI
One night, we will walk in the radiance of the moon
And then, I will slowly spread my wings
And embrace you with my six wings
And I will give you a wedding ring
“Marry me, black winged angel”
Je veux vous tenir dans des mes bras jusqu'au jour du jour I que je meurs. Vous savez pourquoi ? Puisque je t'aime. M'aimerez-vous en arrière ? Veuillez être ma petite amie.
Je vous promets, vous ne le déplorerai pas.
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Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 4:42 am
The Black Winged Angel II
WINGS OF SOLITUDE
By Agnes Ortiz
(ayashi_satu)
I
You braced me with your burning wings
Unable to unchain the grief within
Breathing deeply into my ears
The sorrow of your darkest fears
II
Wings of darkness, ties that bind
Tears that won’t leave the past behind
Haunting memories of your passionate stare
Such obsession which I cannot bear
III
How long must I endure such torment?
Your Black Wings are the reason of my lament
For all six of them spawned your infidelity
Thus you fell into obscurity
IV
I reached for your hand, as a lover would
And as you graced it, I grew wings of my own
Lush and white as a sweet etude
You gave me the wings of solitude
V
Dawn, the time of our rebirth
As we fly above the highest clouds
The celestial view of our forbidden destiny
Lies before our eyes; beyond my own sanity
VI
We cannot be attuned as one
Yet I’ll struggle, for you’re the only one
The only one within me
An enchantment , my eyes could see
VII
My death would mean nothing
For I will rather die a thousand deaths
Than to let our love be divided
I will love thee, as I breathe my final breaths
VIII
Shed the black feathers which clothe you
As I will sacrifice the man who clothes me
Oppressed by sorrow, a moonlit night
Our burning passion won’t cease to ignite
IX
We have fallen, deep into the snow
The Black Wings have incinerated
As a time to lament, tears will rain
With our solitude, no deaths will be vain
X
Once a Black Winged Angel
Full of the agony which possessed her
A Black Winged Angel no more
Silenced by time, at last, darkness tore
XI
Let me spread my wings of solitude
I shall embrace you, as you did before me
Its time to go home, my love
Let me caress you, as we dive into the sea
XII
Dear sweet tears of rain
Let the Second Advent rain
Immortal beloved cries of night
Bestow upon us second sight
XIII
Frigid breath as sorrow’s guise
Bring my memories to its demise
Silent night of a heartless sky
Let the lies inside us die
J mpwf zpv
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Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 4:57 am
A Tear of Mourning
By Agnes Ortiz
(ayashi_satu)
Inside a heart full of sorrows
I cry to let be morrow
What more can I ask?
Death is nearing me, at last!
A broken promise
My tainted memories
Our witty repartees
Your false stories
A rose from red to black
This feeling I always lack
Happiness representing a knife
The only thing I can offer is my life
Sorrowful sunset
River of tears
Shores of agony
Blinded by fears
Washed away by the sin of the sea
Marks weren't kept, don't you see?
On the palm of tragedy
You left so unsturdy
Never again will I feel tormented
This melancholy consumes me
The heavens have struck what I have left
For they know you’re the only one I have kept
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Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 4:58 am
Love Untold
By Agnes Ortiz
(ayashi_satu)
Am I the one, the one who’s made for thee?
Born of the passion, passion marked on me
The soul of thy flesh, and blood which caused the pain
A noble grief inside me, the purpose which will reign
I
A passion that will always live
Beyond the limits of sorrow’s sight
Never ending cries conceive
A secret love that was never told
A Secret Love
Deafening silence, once foretold
A secret that will never cease
And if once exposed, darkness may hold
The chalice of undying memories
II
A great emotion that will hypnotize
Three words that may paralyze
A lover ought not to agonize
The heart, made to sympathize
Agonize
From the tears which caused my sanity
Grew a single blood rose
And from the depths of my insanity
The agony will deteriorate; love arose
III
A chronicle of a love to abide
A sacrifice which I must confide
Words of false sorrow
Words of an infinite tomorrow
Love to Abide
It must be spoken
To the world filled with grief
Words of which are never broken
From the dawn of time; a fallen leaf
IV
A deep longing for a romance to come
Speak the words, and the songs do I hum
An obsession which cradles my thoughts
A love, which time itself had fought
Cradle of Thoughts
Pleasant thoughts of a lover
Filled with joy, and wounds of honor
We seek a divided word, by love begun
But never shall it be done
V
No death shall rip us asunder
Nor shall guilt make us hinder
It is well with our hearts, a trembling obsession
Such emotions, of the true passion
Trembling Obsession
An inerasable sensation
Of the greatest love untold, a sanctity
Until we can see; divine segregation
We shall be bound for all eternity
VI
We speak the secret love behind
The paragon of our liberty
The hope which will bind
Our love’s divinity
Love’s Divinity
Arousing such passion, love divine
I must speak the words: he is mine
Forever and a day, until the dusk of judgment
No longer shall there be great lament…
Am I the one, the one who’s made for thee?
Born of the truth, truth marked on me
No longer shall death reign
With a love untold, freedom will reign
(Let me love you, till the end of time)
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Posted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 4:59 am
The Hell With Your Death Mass
by Agnes Ortiz
(ayashi_satu)
The hell with your death mass
Where hearts are ripped apart
I'll mark your grave with the blood of my hands
And smear it with the tears you've brought me
The hell with your death dress
Which I patiently stitched for you
I used the hair on your head
Just to make it look good
The hell with your black coffin
Which holds your body inside
Keeping you in silent solitude
And gently fading away with you, under your grave
The hell with your death choir
Where the voices of purgatory condemn
May the songs of Darkness
Soothe your burning heart
The hell with your death hearse
Which delivers you to your grave
And as we walk you to the cemetery
I'm the only one who gives a damn
The hell with your tombstone
In which your name is carved
And as I read the name of the rose
I've realized what I've done
The hell with your memories
Which haunt me day by day
As you accuse me for your death
Yet love me evermore..
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