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So... wonderful weekend.

Cottaging with great friends and two adorable mutts. I felt a little under the weather the entire time, but I'll be damned if that gets me in the way of having a great weekend. It did mean I wasn't drinking sad But I didn't need to drink to have fun. Clue with everyone pseudo-role playing their characters was HILARIOUS! It was so much fun.

I got Isolde into the lake, under duress. She decided that me leaving and her being alone on shore was worse than getting wet. She's a very strong swimmer and if there is a ladder she can climb up onto the dock on her own. Though finding the ladder sometimes takes a bit of doing. She's a trooper though.

Widget on the other hand, while terrified of the water at first now seems to not be able to get enough of it. Since me and Graverg left apparently Widget loves swimming so much she kept sneaking away from their lot and going to the docks and swimming by herself D: Five times in the afternoon she did it yesterday. The sneaky bugger XD

We played board games, had fires, even got in a little NES. We had a Super Mario 3 competition but messed things up and all had to quit XD ...shortly after the NES died D: But B+K will clean it and maybe it'll work again for them once it's cleaned properly.

Today on the other hand... had been ridiculously stressful. Argument with my mother, I finally told her that I'm not going to my sister's wedding. Which should not have been a surprise considering we're not in communication at all and haven't been for over a year. But it goes beyond that to a lot of emotional manipulation, threats, insults and tons breaches of boundaries left and right without respect. I don't want to lose my family, but they refuse to work with healthy boundaries and are so quick to resort to insults, threats and invalidating communication techniques. I'm not sure what to do anymore.

On top of that as soon as I get off the phone with my mother I decide to take a shower to try to calm down and *just* as I'm stepping in... the fire alarm goes off. Bob runs and hides under the bed, Isolde is barking like crazy and Xixi is running around like a chicken with her head cut off. My back is pretty toast today so there is no way I could get the cats into crates and out of the building while handling Isolde on my own. Just..breakdown time. Thankfully, once I got dressed and had Isolde on a leash the alarm stopped and when I checked outside it looks like there are working vans outside and no one standing outfront, one lady was casually taking her garbage out and another guy was just walking to the car with his kids, so it was probably a test to the system and I just haven't been out in the areas they normally post signs.

Still, scared the crap out of me when I was already stressed to my eyeballs and now my stomach is completely in knots.

Oh well. Sushi date tonight. Actually on a date-date with Andrew, which we haven't done in such a long time. This is a much needed re-connect between us (we're not having problems, but it's just been so long since we've done something just the two of us). Hopefully I can get my head in the game for that.

So I guess good-news bad-news.

I'll just leave this here.

Does this mean you'll share it with us?

Also: I have been very annoyed and disappointed with my doctor's office for the last two years. They've been pretty terrible as far as service goes. I go and they never really do anything about anything.

The best doctor there (which isn't saying much) retired recently (and they didn't even inform anyone he was retiring) and I thought it was all over. But I found out I was seeing a new doctor this time around and you know what? She is amazing. She listens, she explains things, she seems like she cares and works with me to find solutions instead of just pitying me or brushing me off. When I said physio didn't work, she gave possible reasons why and suggested a different approach (such as, don't try to push through and rush-rush-rush like the physio people always try to).

Overall I have gained a new-found sense of trust in my doctor's office that I haven't had in years. I will say though, if this new doctor ever leaves the office I don't care where she goes, if it is in Ontario, I am following her.

With her and my new therapist who is equally amazing... maybe s**t will start to get accomplished.

My emotions are currently all over the place. It's really hard drudging up all the memories of pain all at once, especially twice in three days, so while I'm hopeful I'm feeling pretty much like s**t as well. But with compassionate professionals by my side who are working with me AND Graverg to help sort things out... at least things look like they will get better.

Here is hoping <3 Already I feel so much better. It's amazing what hope can give you and this is the first time I've felt actual hope in years.


On an entirely different note: what the hell dog? Why would you eat cat poop? What's more, why would you eat cat poop and drag it into the living room when you *know* you're not supposed to be in the cat box at all. Just have to be more careful with the gate.

Don't I know it!

<3 Thanks Riri.

Time can be a tricky thing. sweatdrop



If you need someone to talk to, you know how to reach me, I think.