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For instance, St John's Wort? I have considered that in the past and would at present if this continued. Usually using the tactics I've learnt in psychotherapy help a lot.

There's so much going on this week. I ran into W's cheating ex who hated me. W has a shiny crush on a girl, and I've been navigating jealousy there (keeping him updated, but nervous about scaring him off). F's sister is quite sick in hospital, so we're taking care of that too. Time to slow down a bit!

I've tried homeopathic remedies for various things in the past (and spent a lot of money!) without much luck. I also worked for shoddy herbalists in a natural health college for a couple of years. I know there are good ones out there who *can* help, but you can imagine I'm quite cautious. I don't have a lot of money to spend on things that might not work, especially when it's a problem that comes and goes, and I know what most of the root causes are.

Hi guys,

Dropping by to ask for some advice regarding a mistake I've made and how best to solve it.

My partner and I had a really successful venture recently. An old flame of mine was in town so the three of us negotiated how I might interact with him when we met up. He and I went on a date, had a lovely time making out, and we followed all protocol. I contacted my partner with a reassuring message every couple of hours and went home for dinner with him in the evening. So that went flawlessly and all three of us were happy about it.

Then last night I went round, as I do once or twice a week, to visit with W, the close friend/lover-type-thing I've mentioned several times in this thread. The three of us--F (my partner), W and I--have pretty clear lines drawn about what's okay. Unfortunately W and I stepped over a boundary last night--not heinously far, but far enough that I needed to come home and talk to F about it. We're all feeling a bit mixed up and not sure what to do next (take a step back, forward, or otherwise). But I was honest about it right away.

What do growing poly-beginners do when someone--in this case, ******** up?

Explaining and apologising was the very first thing I did. smile

Beyond that, F is feeling mixed up about where to go next. He is so understanding it freaks me out--he'd prefer if what happened last night were something on the okay list, because it thinks it's unfair for me to have to restrain myself. But he's not comfortable with that yet, so doing so would be unfair on him. He doesn't want us to take a step backwards because he thinks that would be unfair on me too.

But I'm the one that ******** up. I don't think the consequences need to be fair for me right now.

I think you're right. Time is probably what we all need. Yep, W and I have chemistry. Hot, fiery, years'-worth of chemistry. This had been building for a long while.


Yeah, that's kind of what we've been going for--slowly moving the marker as we all adjust. Working pretty well up to this interlude.

It's all well and good to be reasonable and rational outside of bed. We'd been sleeping over, giving one another massages--even talking dirty was okay. Unfortunately we rather pushed ourselves over the edge. Wishful thinking! Every other time we've stopped in, well, time. This time the making out led to me having an orgasm. Sorry--TMI, I'm sure. I didn't expect it to happen--it wasn't especially deliberate. It just happened. No one's hands were involved.




Patience! I guess as a very, very impulsive person I must give myself credit for managing 8 months of patience. And after this, a return to patience. Gladly. I hate the way this shame feels and the position this puts each of my lovers in.

Yay! I wish you luck!