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Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi! blaugh
Here's another one my dad told me years ago:
A blonde got really sick of being made fun of for her hair color, so she dyed her hair brown. Then, a couple of weeks later, she went on a trip to England. While touring the English countryside, she met a shepherd who was tending a huge flock of sheep. Well, the blonde decided that she really, really wanted a sheep so she decided to see if she could make a deal with the shepherd. She said, "I have an idea. If I can tell you how many sheep are in your flock here, will you let me have one of your sheep?" The shepherd thought for a moment, and, thinking that there was no way the woman could possibly guess exactly how many sheep there were, finally said, "All right. What's your guess?" Our heroine looked at the flock for a minute and said, "You have 578 sheep." "How did you know that?" the shepherd asked. The blonde-in-disguise said, "'Cause I'm a super-smart brunette!" And with that she selected an animal and started walking away with it. The shepherd called back after her, "If I can tell you your natural hair color, will you give me back my dog?"

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.


Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.



Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.
Q: Why does it work?
A: "Does 3 come before E or does it go between M and W?"

On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.

The blonde asked, "How am I supposed to know when I'm at 300 feet?"

"That's a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground."

After pondering his answer, she asked, "What happens if there's no one there I know?"
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A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!"

Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet."

So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"
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Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.

The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks."
The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks."
The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks."
The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a beer. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, ‘Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?’

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, ‘Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

‘Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?’

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, ‘No…not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.’