Corrupt-A-Wish

[nedozuki_88]

granted, but i am now the hulk... and squash you in my rage

i wish i saw a shooting star surprised  

[emmmahy]

You did...it was shooting right at you and killed you.

I wish I had a road roller.  

[nedozuki_88]

granted... but it rolls over you even before you get a chance to ride it...

I wish i didnt get squashed by your road roller -_-;  

[Hadaka Kyoujin]

Granted, instead, you are hunted down by the military trying to make your Hulk mutation into a weapon. In the end, you wind up overdosing on crayons because the Hulk's primitive mind takes full control over your body. Death by wax.

I wish I had the power to call forth meteors from Nowehere at not be flattened by them.  

[emmmahy]

Granted, but you flatten the bridge you were on and drown.

I wish I was a pirate! pirate  

[Hadaka Kyoujin]

Granted, but, due to there still being an NP(NinjaPirate) war going on, a Ninja stabs you in the back while you are flipping hamburgers on your grill.

I wish I had the ability to compress things other than myself to the size of a lugnut with telepathic abilities.  

[X_X - Hemlock - X_X]

~Granted. But when you tried to compress you computer, you accidentally compressed you house, therefore squishing you to death. Your gory demise caused several rookie cops to barf on your remains.~

~I wish I could summon demons and have them obey my every command without them being able to kill me~  

[Hadaka Kyoujin]

Granted, but, you accidentally left the wornhole in which you summoned the demons open, allowing multiple other demons to traverse into this World. Their first victim was, in fact, you.

I wish I was a purple people eater.  

[nedozuki_88]

granted... but now all of the purple people hate you... and poisen you while trying to eat their young

I wish I could know "who likes short, shorts?"  

[Hadaka Kyoujin]

Granted, but, your head explodes from the information because the person who likes short shorts was MJ.

I wish I knew what to do next summer.  

[Lobo-chan]

Granted, but by the end of next summer you'll be pregnant and in jail. Please don't ask what happened... sweatdrop

What happened?  

[HowlsAtFullMoons]

How to corrupt what happened? Nothing happened, now what happened is corrupted.

I wish that Autumn would get here faster.  

[infinite_personalities101]

Granted but the sudden shift in seasons caused the alignment of the Earth to go screwy and no longer move, causing us to forever be stuck in Autumn. The people of the Earth became furious and trapped you under a giant pile of leaves and you suffocate.

I wish I could teleport biggrin  

[Saverio C.]

Teleporting is really hard to do. The first time you teleport you forgot to factor in the Earth's movement and teleport into a wall. The good news is that your part of something bigger.

I wish I could shoot lazers out of my eyes.  

[Hadaka Kyoujin]

I am the shadow on the moon at night...

Due to the slight impossibility of this ever happening, your eyes melt into puddles of goop the first time you shoot the lasers.

I wish I had a potato. Don't ask why.

...filling your dreams to the brim with fright.