Corrupt-A-Wish

[X_X - Hemlock - X_X]

~Granted. But after your first kill, you find that you enjoy it and become the worst serial killer known to history. You end up dying at the hands of your mother who wished to stop before it went further. She ended up a national hero before dying cancer.~
~I wish I had a magic necklace~  

[Hadaka Kyoujin]

Granted, but, not only to it come from the refined bellies of goats and swines, it winds up absorbing your life energy to power itself.

I wish I had a three-headed, four-toungued, yellow and blue polka-dotted cow that goes "Ribbit, I'm a moose.".  

[blue0212]

Granted, but the complications and confusions that the cow makes causes time itself to 'splode

I wish that I knew somebody who had a dream about a invisible, flying, talking, magical sea lion that tickled His/her red onion (no joke intended).  

[X_X - Hemlock - X_X]

~Granted. But the person gained short term memory loss shortly before telling you making them forget it completely. What a shame.~
~I wish I knew how to tap-dance~  

[Hadaka Kyoujin]

Granted, now you're the best tap dancer in the world. While practicing, however, you tap dance too fast and wind up causing your feet to fall off.

I wish I could breathe in outer space.  

[blue0212]

Granted, but the wish forbids you from breathing on earth

I wish that ninjas and pirates would hug  

[Hadaka Kyoujin]

Granted, but, one of the ninjas had a kunai hidden in his left sleeve and he stabbed the pirate he hugged, sparking the war between them two again.

I wish mold was good for you.  

[X_X - Hemlock - X_X]

~Granted. But once people start eating mold, everything else becomes deadly to us and we eventually become giant living molds that die from lack of rotting food as we don't wish to be cannibals and eat mold.~
~I wish I could talk to fish.~  

[blue0212]

Granted, but it turns out that fish hate you and curse every five seconds.

I wish that pudding was included in the declaration of independence  

[Hadaka Kyoujin]

Granted. Now the British hate pudding as well and they throw great boiling batches of the stuff down our pants.

I wish cannibalism was legal.  

[blue0212]

Granted, but the world's population decreases by 74%

I wish that I had a better memory  

[emmmahy]

*granted but you lose your eyesight to do so*

I wish I wouldnt be as bored.  

[blue0212]

Granted, you get entertained by everything, even the apocalypse. "The world's exploding? I wanna see!"

I wish for a private butler that is also a ninja.  

[nedozuki_88]

granted, but he slays you in his sleep and gets away with it un-noticed ninja

I wish that the world was indeed~ flat  

[emmmahy]

@blues: I'd tottaly say that mrgreen

Granted, a large hammer hits it until it flattens, killing everyone.

I wish you were green, Nedozuki XD