Welcome to Gaia! ::

Tam lays back onto the roof and smiles. "Thanks, good to know... I'd hate to have Kero screw it into place each day when I get up. Though he'd probably get a laugh out of doing so."

"You must be Zerenatian, I'm Ai, though I unormally go by the name Talesian, Tam for short. We've not met before, I don't think." says Tam in a quiet greeting.

Tam laughs heartily. "Ye know... I'm beginning to think I should just write the damn thing down... or sit ye all down in one place and then tell ye..." he sighs and shakes his head. "What part of me story do ye want to hear anyway? The good... the bad... the ugly... or the indifferent?" He is actually teasing the gem child and it shows in his voice. But at the same time he is also getting a tiny bit tired of repeating himself, telling something he has kept hidden close to his chest for eons. Secrets such as his are hard to share.

"Frustration... anger... worry... " I'm no one special, Zerenatian. my problems are pretty much the same as everyone's... just entrenched a bit deeper, I suppose." Tam sighs and returns to his study of the sky. "Some I've been hauling about with me since the Fall... no magic wand to set us all aright... and no one to talk to. Up to then there had been no need for someone of that talent. The all father's solution was to just send up all down here to work them out for ourselves... or so it seems. I'm just a stubborn case."

"Anger, I suppose... and loneliness... if ye truly want to know. Anger at Bez... anger at the all-father... anger at myself for allowing myself to be used like that... sometimes I"m like a caldera... seething with it... Had I said something... had I done something... Have... have ye ever been used? Tricked into doing something ye had no intention of doing... and the whole time yer doing it, ye know deep inside something terrible is going to come from it... and also knowing that the one ye are being used against knows it is going to happen and hasn't doen a thing to prevent it? Why? Why didn't he intervene?"

Tam snorts softly through his nose. "A little knowledge would have gone a long way, ye know." he sighs and closes his eyes. "Ye know... it's funny really... I love him still... Bez, too... we all do... It's kind of embedded in our genes. We can't help but want to be with him... It's the way we were made. And yet we can think about it, gripe about it, even fight it.... though the latter is kind of useless. But all you later forms have the ability to deny him fully or embrace him completely. You have a free will. We never did. I think.... no, I know that is what drove Bez to do what he did. In a way, to Bez we were a failed prototype, though I know for a fact we also had no need to prove ourselves to him either... and as such we are... or were... with him always...

"Anger is a disease that feeds on the soul, Zerenatian. Don't ever let it take root in your own."

Tam cracks an eyelid and flashes him a tiny glare. "Because he set it all in motion and yet to this day refuses to acknowledge the fact that he was the one who triggered the deaths of our friends and instated the Fall. He won't even admit to the fact that he would have allowed me to be killed, to further his cause." Suddenly he sighs heavily and shakes his head. "He goes through life like a blind fledgling, refusing to see that the things he does affect the world around him. He lies, he steals, he creates havoc wherever he goes. He's not evil... he's just... oh... I don't know what he is anymore... I do know that although I still love him, I don't trust him out of my sight. He's a law unto himself. And it scares the living daylights out of me that Kerobian has made contact with him behind my back."

"Sheer stubbornness I suppose." says Tam sadly. "If I saw him trying to make something of himself... maybe I wouldn't be so upset with him, but he lives wild... all alone... going out into the world only when he feels the need to bug the hell out of me... or when he grows bored and wants to create some sort of catastrophe. He despises the free races so much he won't even associate with them to understand them better."