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I kind of see both sides.

Raping someone means having sex with them without their consent. That's pretty serious and horrific. It's not something to joke about. It's not something that should be "bringing people together" in my opinion. And unless a couple has a rape fantasy that they want to explore with a safe word, then one partner should not be telling the other that they are going to rape them.

Also, a lot of rape victims really don't want to hear the word "rape" casually and jokingly thrown around every day. And since rape is horrifyingly common, chances are that we have all met a rape victim, whether we knew it or not.

So I do think we need to be more mindful of what we say, and I don't think rape should be the subject of jokes.

But that doesn't mean that everyone who uses the word "rape" as a joke is a bad person either. Most of them are saying it to fit in, or because they've heard it so much that they started saying it without really thinking about it, or out of ignorance. So if a friend says it and it bothers you, I'd say talk to them about it before ending the friendship. Remind them what rape actually means. Tell them how common rape is. Explain that many people, including you, are uncomfortable with the word being thrown around like that. Ask them not to use it around you. If they keep saying it around you after that and don't even follow it up with a, "Oops, sorry, I forgot," or something, then decide whether or not you want to end it.

And I actually do think it's kind of like talking about cannibalism in a joking and casual way. I mean, cannibalism is not nearly as common as rape, so the chance that we've met someone who's life was impacted by cannibalism is pretty slim. But cannibalism is real. And this is the internet. We do come in contact with a lot of people. So it is possible. There was that plane crash in the 1970s where the survivors had to eat the dead to survive. I think that must have been extremely horrific and traumatic. And the 70s weren't that long ago, so those survivors certainly might be alive today and browsing the internet right now. And maybe it bothers them to hear/see cannibal jokes just like it might bother a rape victim to hear/see a rape joke.

Really, you never know what someone else has gone through or what might bother them. And it doesn't even have to be about a traumatic experience. A lot of people say, "That's so gay," or "That's retarded," when they don't like something, but other people might find that really hurtful. So we just have to try to be respectful, use our best judgement, do our best, and communicate as calmly as possible if something bothers us. I'm sure we've all offended someone at some point or another without meaning to. It doesn't necessarily mean that we're bad people.

That being said, this thread is kind of taking a turn away from the original questions. We're still somewhat on topic, pretty civil considering - I don't think anyone has meant to cause hurt feelings yet, and not violating any rules though, so I don't mind leaving it open for now. But I will not hesitate to lock it if the debate turns ugly or if the original poster wants it locked.

No, if the 12 year old is saying something that causes a person to have a panic attack, the 12 year old is causing the panic attack. The first time may be an accident, but if they repeatedly do it - and 12 years old is old enough for the vast majority of kids to have some form of distinction between right and wrong - then they're doing it to be mean.
There are people out there who use rape jokes to intimidate, and it has been shown that when rapists hear these jokes it confirms their belief that other people out there are also rapists. Apparently, quite a lot of convicted rapists think that all men (and I'm not denying the presence of female rapists, but there's not as much research done into that) also rape. Telling jokes confirms this belief for them and makes them more confident in attacking people.

You didnt have to delete them, it just wouldve been nice if we both dropped the topic is all, which is why i asked you to stop replying to our arguement