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 Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 9:41 pm
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Mameoyashi Esiris *Hugs* I've been in that position before and it's no fun. Hypocrisy sucks. Thanks for listening Riri. You are an awesome individual and I'm glad you were around to give me feedback on this. I was searching my MSN list and found no one online at this hour. *hugs* You make me smile and that is so appreciated smile |
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Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 9:46 pm
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Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 10:04 pm
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Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 10:25 pm
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So here is my rant.
The "Don't Say Gay" bill was initially poorly worded and raised a lot of issues including if teaching that bullying people who were gay was wrong in a classroom setting. Part of what fuels this is that a lot of people haven't actually read what the bill says.
In essence- the bill says "Schools grade k-8 will not provide unauthorized information on reproductive science at school." Reproductive science is a function of heterosexual sex and is taught in 5th and 8th grade because these are the ages that most people begin to experience major biological shifts.
This is not an "anti gay" bill any more. These classes do not teach about sexual relationships- they teach biology. Biology that is not magiced away when you get your official LGBT Club card. I think that a lot of the fervor by which people rant actually attacks LGBT couples who have- shock, had sex with members of the opposite sex. Did you know it's possible for gays and lesbians to have heterosexual sex with people and still be gay? I know there are some members of the LGBT community who want to revoke their Gay Card for that, but it's time to be realistic.
Now- what should be taught at what age is a question, one that people who have degrees in developmental psychology should address.
*** Edit: Erikson's Stages suggest that on average age 14-24 is the best range for this lesson to be taught in a responsible way. Part of the problem is that just because we might want to teach something to someone- that doesn't mean we're doing it for their benefit and we shouldn't be engaging in any kind of sexual education against a person's consent- or when a child's education isn't in their place to consent about, the parent or guardian's consent.***
I think, based on my vague memories of my psych classes- that a "sexual relationships" class should be offered in high school and be offered to students who are above the age of consent- because lets face it, before they can consent to sex- teaching them how to engage in pleasurable sexual relationships shouldn't take priority over other aspects of education. All things in due time- and remember, age of consent laws were put in place after studies were done on human sexuality and are there to keep people from taking advantage of others sexually.
The education system isn't perfect- but teaching how people have sex, as opposed to human biology- isn't something that should be done without consent of the parents any more than teaching creationism should be done in a science classroom.
And this is what sparked the problem.
Which ended in criticisms about how I responded to the argument- and I will say it was heated and it was heated on both sides.
It ended with personal attacks about my behavior. I paused and asked those to be explained. The response was "I don't want to talk about it." Ok. We agreed that "time outs" could be requested- we also agreed that when a time out is taken- a time to readdress the issue would be set. The thing about compromise is that it goes both ways. I give a little and so do you. The person I had the argument had said "I will lie, cheat and steal to get what I want". So when we made these agreements and compromises- I hadn't even dreamed that me giving my word to respect your boundaries would be met with an "I don't feel like holding up my end now- you're SOL even though I made promises to you."
My trust is something that only gets stepped on twice- and you've already shown that all your talk about working on our relationship was just that- talk. The promises of putting more effort in, in doing things with me and honoring my requests have yielded a big goose egg- nothing. I hate being used. I hate being lied to. I hate having my trust betrayed- and saying "Oh, if I don't get what I want- I'll bail" and "I'll take my benefits from our agreement but screw whatever I promised to do for you" is no way to keep a friendship- let alone a BDSM dynamic that is built on trust.
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Posted: Fri May 27, 2011 12:21 pm
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Posted: Sat May 28, 2011 12:33 pm
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Esiris So here is my rant. The "Don't Say Gay" bill was initially poorly worded and raised a lot of issues including if teaching that bullying people who were gay was wrong in a classroom setting. Part of what fuels this is that a lot of people haven't actually read what the bill says. In essence- the bill says "Schools grade k-8 will not provide unauthorized information on reproductive science at school." Reproductive science is a function of heterosexual sex and is taught in 5th and 8th grade because these are the ages that most people begin to experience major biological shifts. This is not an "anti gay" bill any more. These classes do not teach about sexual relationships- they teach biology. Biology that is not magiced away when you get your official LGBT Club card. I think that a lot of the fervor by which people rant actually attacks LGBT couples who have- shock, had sex with members of the opposite sex. Did you know it's possible for gays and lesbians to have heterosexual sex with people and still be gay? I know there are some members of the LGBT community who want to revoke their Gay Card for that, but it's time to be realistic. Now- what should be taught at what age is a question, one that people who have degrees in developmental psychology should address. *** Edit: Erikson's Stages suggest that on average age 14-24 is the best range for this lesson to be taught in a responsible way. Part of the problem is that just because we might want to teach something to someone- that doesn't mean we're doing it for their benefit and we shouldn't be engaging in any kind of sexual education against a person's consent- or when a child's education isn't in their place to consent about, the parent or guardian's consent.*** I think, based on my vague memories of my psych classes- that a "sexual relationships" class should be offered in high school and be offered to students who are above the age of consent- because lets face it, before they can consent to sex- teaching them how to engage in pleasurable sexual relationships shouldn't take priority over other aspects of education. All things in due time- and remember, age of consent laws were put in place after studies were done on human sexuality and are there to keep people from taking advantage of others sexually. The education system isn't perfect- but teaching how people have sex, as opposed to human biology- isn't something that should be done without consent of the parents any more than teaching creationism should be done in a science classroom. And this is what sparked the problem. Which ended in criticisms about how I responded to the argument- and I will say it was heated and it was heated on both sides. It ended with personal attacks about my behavior. I paused and asked those to be explained. The response was "I don't want to talk about it." Ok. We agreed that "time outs" could be requested- we also agreed that when a time out is taken- a time to readdress the issue would be set. The thing about compromise is that it goes both ways. I give a little and so do you. The person I had the argument had said "I will lie, cheat and steal to get what I want". So when we made these agreements and compromises- I hadn't even dreamed that me giving my word to respect your boundaries would be met with an "I don't feel like holding up my end now- you're SOL even though I made promises to you." My trust is something that only gets stepped on twice- and you've already shown that all your talk about working on our relationship was just that- talk. The promises of putting more effort in, in doing things with me and honoring my requests have yielded a big goose egg- nothing. I hate being used. I hate being lied to. I hate having my trust betrayed- and saying "Oh, if I don't get what I want- I'll bail" and "I'll take my benefits from our agreement but screw whatever I promised to do for you" is no way to keep a friendship- let alone a BDSM dynamic that is built on trust.
As for the not keeping promises and being attacked for it thing... that does really suck sad I wish I could help you with that because it's a tough thing to go through *hugs*
The day someone agrees with every bit of advice I give is the day the world implodes XD But that's the beauty of places like the LI, you get a variety of different opinions and stances to look at. I try my best, but my best isn't always the best for the situation or for everyone. I'm just happy that most regulars there tend to at least try to give well thought out advice and are often (if not always) not trying to be offensive as well. It's a nice little forum.
But eh. People will be rude and they will contest other people opinions occasionally. That guy went about it the wrong way, mind you, but it's not worth dwelling over in the long run. |
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Posted: Sat May 28, 2011 12:42 pm
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Posted: Mon May 30, 2011 12:09 am
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Mameoyashi I didn't really know that about that particular bill. It's hard to find proper information when the media takes off with something.
When people start talking about laws and stuff- I don't leave my perspective up to the media, I read the actual bills because people can say anything they want to about a bill. 3nodding
Quote: Though sex ed was a little different where I'm from, it was more than just talking about biological changes and reproduction, it did talk a lot about relationships (only talked about heterosexual relationships, mind you) and such as well. So that also helps colour my perception of the bill along with media and activist representations. You make a good argument though and I don't see what exactly is wrong with it all.
I think that mentioning that there are hormones that stimulate pair bonding between sexual partners is in line- but that's about all that matters at that stage because let's face it- kids are selfish. And that's ok because when you're young your survival is the key focus and as people mature they begin to think outside of themselves more. 3nodding
Quote: As for the not keeping promises and being attacked for it thing... that does really suck sad I wish I could help you with that because it's a tough thing to go through *hugs*
Things aren't awkward- I don't feign affection so it isn't like I'm "faking" it. Basically we hit a rough spot a while back and we did a little bit of work to fix it- but not enough. I have a real problem when I feel like I'm the only one invested in a relationship and I tend to put in my effort and if it isn't returned, I back off. |
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Posted: Sat Jun 11, 2011 7:57 pm
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I like helping out and answering questions. I really do. That's pretty much why I used to be a regular in the Q&A, it's why I am a regular in the LI and it's why I used to be a mod. This tendency extends to pretty much all aspects of my life, even outside Gaia. I love being a resource of information, I love helping people.
But university is really starting to bother me.
I understand that it's not always easy to find certain information. I get that. But sometimes... why can't university students read?
For every online course there is a News section, it's right there when you enter into the course home page. You have to see it pretty much every time you log in and go to your course. It's not used in all courses. My one prof doesn't touch it, another posts News but also puts it in a bulletin board so it's in two place, but my sociology prof uses the News section religiously. He posts *everything* there. Weekly schedule, when things are due, interesting things he found in the news, extensions to assignments (which there has been an extension posted for *every* assignment so far because of issues on his end) and most important so far information about our upcoming midterm.
Now... we've had to read 9 chapters from out textbook so far. Week 6 we read chapters 1-9, Week 7 we write our midterm. Common sense dictates, unless otherwise stated, everything up until a midterm would be covered by the midterm.
Someone asks if we have to read chapter 9. You know what, sure, maybe originally we were only to read up to chapter 8 and the person saved the old 'notes&activities' section instead of keeping up on that section because the information has changed as the professor has had to extend and delay certain things. So yeah, maybe that wasn't there before.
So I answer to the best of my ability, midterms usually cover everything up until the midterm, the notes&activities says this is what should be read up until the week before the midterm, out midterm will be choosing 3 questions out of a variety of questions (so we'll probably have a good degree of choice) and we have 10 days to complete it and hand it in. Okay, done. Mission Accomplished.
Someone else decides to post that I'm wrong and we don't have until the 22nd, we only have until the 19th. No where on the site does it say we have until the 19th anymore. Yeah, before all the restructuring of Notes&Activities and extensions we've gotten so far somewhere it said it was due on the 19th. So again, sure, maybe this person has saved a copy of the old Notes&activities, it happens. But...but...but...
How do you miss the News section? It's on the front page of the course, it had a big "MIDTERM EXAM" title, all nice and bold and popping out. It gives us structure and instructions for the midterm, including the due date. How... does one fail to notice this? A professor posts something, right on the front page, concerning your examination and you... what? Ignore it? Important information below, I assure you.
This wouldn't really be a big deal except it's been happening in every single course and very frequently. A lot of the questions being asked can easily be found in many places, people just need to read. It's either in the Content page for the course or it's right on the front page. There are always announcements answering the questions that are asked. But no one seems to be reading them.
Even in our assignments, everything is clearly laid out, they've obviously read a part of it because they're posting about it. But.. why are you not reading key instructions, like where to post, where to submit, when it's due. And this information is 99% of the time in bold print for quick reference. It's all there in the instructions. You've seen these things, you've read at least part of these things. Just...read it again.
You're in university now. Why aren't you reading?
Urg. I've been in school way too long...
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Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 6:53 pm
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Just because my parents were divorced four days after I was born, does not mean I come from an unstable broken home.
I never saw my parents fight or cuss each other out. I always knew that they loved me and they provided me with food, clothing, medicine, dentist appointments, and an education.
My father took me and my mother and my younger brother who wasn't even his on a road trip to see the Ford Museum. He paid for most of it. He also took my older brother, me, my mother, and my younger brother to see Cats and Beauty & the Beast live. When my father was still able to get me presents for Christmas and birthdays, he always got my younger brother something too.
As I am writing this, my mother is over at his house sleeping over just to see if he's okay and see how he's doing. There was a lot of soreness between each other, but they got over it and became friends because they knew I deserved parents.
So, hearing that I've never known stability because I come from a broken home from someone who I view made a broken home for her children even if she is still married to the same man for 22 years really makes me rage even more than I am already raging.
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Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2011 11:55 pm
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People watching is a perfectly enjoyable and valid way to spend a Saturday night. Yes, I am at a club, no, I don't like to dance. Yes, I love to watch the people dancing. No, I don't want to dance with you. I'm flattered you find me attractive, trust me, I've not been hit on in.... pretty much ever.... but the point is, I don't want you sideways rocking your hip into mine and pushily trying to get me to dance. I don't want to dance, I like watching others dance. I am having fun, I am letting loose, or I wouldn't have gone to Ab. Now, stop bumping my hip and let me watch my peoples in peace > : (
[Funny thing, I kept shaking my head and saying 'no' and stuff and security came over and talked to the person, eventually ,it seems, the person was kicked out of the club for some reason or another. I didn't hang around for the conversation with security though.]
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Posted: Sun Aug 21, 2011 12:05 am
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Posted: Sun Aug 21, 2011 7:21 am
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Mameoyashi People watching is a perfectly enjoyable and valid way to spend a Saturday night. Yes, I am at a club, no, I don't like to dance. Yes, I love to watch the people dancing. No, I don't want to dance with you. I'm flattered you find me attractive, trust me, I've not been hit on in.... pretty much ever.... but the point is, I don't want you sideways rocking your hip into mine and pushily trying to get me to dance. I don't want to dance, I like watching others dance. I am having fun, I am letting loose, or I wouldn't have gone to Ab. Now, stop bumping my hip and let me watch my peoples in peace > : ( [Funny thing, I kept shaking my head and saying 'no' and stuff and security came over and talked to the person, eventually ,it seems, the person was kicked out of the club for some reason or another. I didn't hang around for the conversation with security though.]
I'm glad they had good security. |
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