Welcome to Gaia! ::

Tam silently follows him, wondering what it is he wants.

Tam sighs and sits down on the roof beside him, his legs dangling over the edge. "I'm warped beyond mending I fear. Must be for my master to have tossed me off so lightly. I trust you know who and what I am."

Tam bows his head with a sour laugh. "What else would ye call it when love has no sense of balance? I'm like a pendulum, going from one extreme to another.I cling and I shove... I try not to, but those I love... I love with all my being... those I find lacking I... I avoid at every opportunity. It... it wasn't always that way, when I had Bez around to keep me sane...."

Tam closes his eyes to avoid looking into that piercing gaze. "You who embodies love should know that no relationship is so straightforward. There's far more to it than that, I'm afraid. Do you understand the concept of swedhship... no? No, I suppose you wouldn't, though a strain of it has filtered down to the lower races. Swedhship is a form of soulbonding. Where two of my people are joined on a spiritual level. Bez was my soulmate. Love and Faith... for Faith cannot truly exist without Love... and one who has Faith, will most surely find Ao's love. It was the same with Truth and Knowledge... And the four of us supported the fifth, who flowed from us forming us into a whole."

Tam shrugs. Not much more to tell really... tales of what happened are told in every nation by every race, be they small or large... Of the five, Two rebelled... One died..., one was damaged almost beyond revival and the fifth went insane. Truth died. The two rebels were banished to live beyond our master's realm. I... I was sick for a very very long time. And he... he who flowed from us was reabsorbed by our master to keep him from doing lasting harm. Trouble was, I lived... but I no longer had a purpose. Others were beginning to take my place. Lesser angels and... and people who had the ability to worship and love the father freely should they chose to do so. You see... I... I never had a choice. And to make matters worse, the bond between my swedh and I was unusually strong. For in their rebellion, Bez and Veras used me... to attack our master straight on. At that time I was never very forceful... Bez did most of the decision making for the two of us..."

Tam shrugs again. "So what do you do with a broken tool? Ye toss it away. Up there I was but a shadow, wandering about aimlessly. And I wan't the only one. So many of us who had lived through that initial battle were damaged in that way... not just the five who sat over them all. We began to disappear. No one knew where we went. A few here... a few there... I... I was one of the last... In a way, I am grateful to have been sent away. And over the years I've learned that those of us who had not rebelled but were merely sent can go back, once we achieved our purpose. But as we are never told what that purpose is, it is sort of a hit or miss proposition. All I know is that one day I was up there and the next down here. Actually... it took centuries before I even remember anything of my prior life... and when I did, I kind of went mad all over again... said and did things that hae probably banished me for good... or would have had I not met Kerobian. But one thing is for certain, I'm no longer the spineless fool I once was... and Bez needs to realize that. I still need him... like a man dying of thirst in the desert needs water... and he needs me or so he says... but until he freely admits to the things he has done wrong, I will not, can not... do as he wishes... and even if we do finally come together... it will be as equals... and as equals only."

Tam blushes furiously and studies his fingertips with a jaundice gaze. "Who told you about that?" he asks quietly.

Tam sighs. "They are rather slow at healing." Then he looks up at the sky. "Back there, there was no need for such acts. The father made us all the same and as we were made not born... we had no sex to speak of. Oh some of us were stronger, more assertive... that sort of thing... but we merged on the mental level. The physical never came into it. I... I think that is why Bez and Veras rebelled. They saw this new creation of the father's... heck he hadn't even made it to the sentient form before they felt threatened. But already it was obvious that the new creations were self propagating. And it made them angry. Why should we have been any less than they? Oh I remember the arguments well having heard them for so long.

Imagine my surprise when I woke up down here as a male. Well, I really wasn't surprised then... but once Bez found me and I began to understand who and what I had been... and to see that both he and I were the same..."

Tam smiles ruefully and shakes his head. "Bez nearly went through the proverbial roof. Then he decided it didn't matter. I suppose it doesn't... but to me.. in a way... it does. Recetly though I... I took on a form I had trouble slipping out of and well..." he falls silent wondering just how much the gem child truly knows.