Welcome to Gaia! ::

Opening her eyes, Ai stares at him glumly. "Care to share? I'm fresh out of ideas, Kero... really I am. All I wanted was a little bit of happiness... to be with you, really with you, for a short time. For I knew that no matter how alluring or deceptive the dream was of having you with me when all this was over, it simply wasn't going to happen. I... I know Tes, I honestly look up to her and respect her. She's done so much for you... far more than me, that is for sure. I... I'm envious to a fault, but I respect what the two of you share.

"Truth is, dulcha. I never should have done this. I never wanted to cause trouble... never wanted to mess up your life. But I crossed the invisible line and have probably gotten myself exiled permanently because of it. Bez warned me I was teetering on the fence, told me I was playing with fire. He... he said that no matter how mature you sounded, you still had far too much growing up to do to get serious... too many issues of your own that you really did not yet grasp... and... and that I was, more or less, much the same. It was foolish... it was stupid... and I honestly don't know why I did it... except that I love you, really love you. God of all, I can't begin to describe how I feel for you inside. But the more I think about it, if that was indeed the case, I should have done everything I could not to mess up your life. I was being rather selfish, I'm afraid. And look what it's gotten me..."

"Your cheery out look amazes me to no end." comes a familiar rough voice from the door way.

"Kids..." snorts Lyssan following her mate through the door to the balcony. "Eternally positive, never looking beyond the present. Or eternally negative, never realizing that all clouds have silver linings and no storm lasts forever. We need to talk, you two." She perches on the rail of the balcony and wraps her tails about her, all nine of them, looking more like a fur covered puff ball than a fox.

Amestru finds a chairs and snags it close, before dropping down into it. "She has a point... " He looks at Kero and frowns. "You, my fine young friend, may have a small grasp on the enormity of the situation but you are not seeing the whole picture."

Then he stares at Ai and sighs. "And you, my child, forget that it takes two to do the things you two have done. Aye, you probably should not have done them... aye there will be hell to pay somewhere along the line... and aye, Tes won't like it... but even she knows that she will have to re-win his heart. Don't brew storms where none exist... yet... ere they erupt prematurely."

"Da..." moans Ai doing her best to melt into the floor.

"Da nothing... Amestru is right." announces Lyssan with a toothy grin. "None of this absolves you from the fact you crossed a line, true... but you didn't cross it alone. You had help... lots of help I suspect. And not all of it from Kero. Tell me, truly... how long have you been walking around as a cat?"

"On and off since he's been five." says Ai in confusion.

Amestru nods. "For long periods of time or short?"

Ai looks confused, so Kero answers for her. "Some long, some short. Mostly long to begin with. She kind of got stuck that way once by accident, couldn't shift, couldn't change forms... nothing for a very long time, more than year... Why?"

Amestru nods slowly. "And do you have any idea why that might have happened?"

Ai sighs heavily. "I've been doing a lot of thinking on this over the years, but can only assume... I did something once that attracted the attention of the Lord of all and he granted me the ability to assume a true shape... or how did he put it... I could assume whatever shape I wanted and it would be true." She looks at Kero and smiles thinly. "Kero's niece kind of popped in on us when she was young once... really young... sort of ran away from home she did... wanted to live with us. Only my ability to speak Desert Miner was limited and it was the only tongue she knew at the time. I needed to converse with her, to explain a few things, so I shifted into a desert miner... but somehow got it twisted... I became a lion alright, but not a true desert miner, more like I am now... only a bit more balanced in the male/female thing... but the form locked in place and it took a major shock to get me out of it... not sure if it was my fault or if it was the hand of the other playing with me. His blessings are often double sided."

Lyssan snorts softly through her nose. "Doubled sided my foot. His blessings are two sided blades. It's what you do with them that counts. He but gives you a gift... you are then supposed to figure out how to use it. He is all about choice you know.

"So you've been locked in true forms, feline forms, on and off now for several years? All the stages, cub on up?"

"It doesn't have to be in order. Tam... have you hit all the stages of maturity?" prompts Amestru kindly.

"Well, I've not hit the toothless decrepit stage, but yeah, I think I have..." sighs Ai with feeling. "I don't remember the cub bit, but Kero says I was once one... he said I was cute but a bit too curious for my own good... I think I ran him ragged."

Kero rolls his eyes and nods. "Thank heavens it was only for one night. It was right around that time Lathander decided to take you into his keeping... after the blasted book incident. You were such a mess. So he did something, didn't really tell me what it was, but he said you were out of balanced or something, so he returned things to the way they should have been."

"Lathander? Sheesh, kids, you people keep some high faluting company..." Laughs Lyssan in amusement. "I'm beginning to see a pattern here... how long ago was that?"

"Not too long..." sighs Ai dropping her head back down to her feet. "That is when I lost the ability to maintain the male form... or even the female for that matter. He shoved me right back into my true sexuality and I stayed there... Now no matter what form I take, I'm both... haven't been able to go true male or female since then. "

Lyssan sighs heavily. "Tam, answer me truly... is he telling the truth?"

Ai sighs and rests her head on Kero's back. "Yes and no... " she whispers softly in a heavy voice. "I will admit we haven't done anything until recently... I made sure of it... but I... I won't lie. I've always liked Kero.... in a rather serious way. And not a puppy like sort of way, I'm ashamed to say. But he had someone he cared for deeply... Someone who cares for him just as much, so I kept my hands and mouth... and... and anything else that would come between them at a distance."

Amestru nods slowly. "So what changed things?"

Ai shrugged slowly. "I... I don't really know. As things inside of me changed, something changed in my feelings as well. I came to realize he... he isn't the Kero we once knew... he's different somehow... better, more compassionate, less of a head case amd more real somehow... seriously. And I came to love him even more. Something inside of me woke up, I suppose, a part of me I never knew existed... then when I learned he would always be this person he is now... at least until the next time he undergoes the process... I began to wonder how he truly felt about me. And why he had to go back to a life he had no idea who what when or where about... if he was such a new person, couldn't he have a fresh start? Still I had made a vow and promise... and I know the why and the wherefore of the original Kerobian's request, so I kept my distance until all this shapeshifting got out of hand. Kero here wouldn't be the first individual to grow up with a hefty pre-destiny. It happens all the time. It isn't always fair, nor is it right in many instances, but it's a fact of life we can't get away from. Nevertheless, I had to know. Trust me, Da, I... I know I shouldn't have gone that route... but part of me had to know."

"By keeping your distance, do you mean physically keeping your distance or mentally?" Asks Lyssan quietly. Ai's deep rosy blush was all she needed to jump to an unwonted conclusion.

"You didn't?" she snarls angrily.

"No..." cried Ai in alarm. "I would have died ere I did something like that. But we did tend to sleep together, especially when he was upset by anything, my door was always open to him... and well he seemed to need hands on affection... a lot. So I gave it freely, but never did I go that route, Ma... please... you must believe me. I... I was doing my best to raise him properly... by your standards. And mine..." she added in a soft sad voice. "I wanted him to grow up being the best he could grow up to be... and I wanted him to know how to be happy... how to love..." She nuzzled the dark fur beneath her head fondly. "And I think I might have succeeded... at least a little. Even Hope says he's quite different than he used to be... a good different, I pray."

Relieved Lyssan nods sadly. "Kero always did have this deep instinctive need to be touched and to touch back. I think it reminded him of what it was to be alive. No offense, my dark furred friend, I know it seems we are talking about you over your head and not letting you get a piece in on your own... but you had some major issues in your other life... not bad issures mind you, but serious ones all the same."

Ai sighed and leaned against Kero. "later then..." she whispers mind to mind, then curls up against him once again.

Amestru nods thoughtfull. "Kero, we've heard Tam's side of things. How do you feel about all this? It seems the two of you have taken this to another level in a rather short time. I'm not being critical, mind you... I know my child... and if he... damn it, if she thought you were only under the influence of a puppy love, she would not have allowed it to go this far. You do realize what she was talking about, don't you... that you do have others in your life, who might object to all this?"

Lyssan groans, turning to Ai. "And you, my child, were that desperate for affection you were willing to take the leavings of another?"

Ai bristles openly at this assumption. "No Ma, I was not. Kero is not the only love in my life, I have many loves, individuals who love me and whom I love very much... just none I wish to partner with."

Amestru sighs. "Lyssie, please... let the two work this out, together. Stop throwing accusations."

Lyssan drops her head with a gusty groan. "Sorry... it's just Kero was a friend... a good friend. And Tes is my friend as well. I... I know he's changed. I've have direct experience with that. And I..." she falls silent shaking her head slowly. "I don't want to see either of them hurt... and I don't want Tam to hurt or suffer, either."

"It has never been my inclination to come between them." whispers Ai sadly. "I... I don't know what I was going to do... honestly... I seem to have been running on gut instinct for some time now... but I never intended that. It's just... he completes me somehow. A part of him fills the emptiness inside... I can't explain it. He just does. And whenever I'm with him lately, one thing just seems to lead to another." She looks up at Kero's face and smiles weakly. "I love you so much, dulcha... truly I do... I don't know how... I don't know why... but you've awakened inside me an ability to feel things for myself, not just go through life separate and apart, feeling only those things others feel. It's a rather heady wine, I'm afraid, for an empath of my stature."

Amestru nods, silencing his mate with a hard look. "Certainly. You could stay here, of course, but if you truly want privacy... there is always Gilligan's Island."

"Gilligan's Island?" echoes Kero in confusion.

Ai smiles thinly. "A family getaway... It's in the far garden/orchard... an islet in the middle of a small lake we have there. There is a treehouse there. "Is that thing really still standing?"

Lyssan nods with a twisted troubled grin. "Aye, but if you go there you will need to fend for yourselves. No furnishings I fear. The brownies have put it all into storagew early this year since no one has been using it. I'm sure Champhy would pack you up some supplies, but it will be rough going."

Ai chuckles sourly. "We've been living rough for quite a few days now... a couple more won't hurt. But I'll leave it up to Kero."

Lyssan chuckles knowingly at Ai's open and heartfelt groan. "Fine by me. I'll have it known to the staff that you two are to be given some privacy. Can't say it will help much with the twins, they never seem to listen to orders, but if I word it properly they shouldn't find a loophole. Will you be taking meals with the family or in your rooms... and whose apartment will you be using?"

Kero gives her a funny look, which sends Ai laughing. "Mine, Ma. He'd get lost trying to find his."

Lyssan and Amestru nod simultaneously and start to rise, while Kero shakes his head hard and pesters the white lioness. "Apartments... like in two... I have an apartment here... where... where is it?"

Amestru smiles fondly at the young lion, then spoils it by winking at Ai. "Actually Tam is probably right... you should use his. I have no idea what your elder self left in his. And without his memories that could get a bit dicy."