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rofl rofl

Hey... mine wasn't that bad... Those kids have the worst ones!! xd

(sorry, had to translate that joke from my native language into english)

A man walks into a bar on top of a huge skyscraper. The only other guests, obviously drunk, starts talking to him, pointing to a window:
"You know, if you jump from this window, you can survive the fall."

The man doesn't believe him, they're on the 30th floor, but he agrees to make a bet for 50 dollars.

The drunken man walks to the window, opens it, and jumps. Just a few meters above the ground he suddenly stops falling, and lands gently on the sidewalk. After he returns to the bar, the man gives him his 50 dollars.
He is drunken by now too, and decides to give it a try himself. He opens the window again, and jumps down. He falls and falls and falls... and hits the ground without stopping.

Then the barkeeper looks to the drunken man, and says:
"You're REALLY mean when you are drunken, Superman."

Seems God was just about done creating the universe, but he had two extra things left in his bag of creations, so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up while urinating. "It's a very handy thing", God told the couple, "I was wondering if either one of you wanted that very ability."

Adam jumped up and blurted, "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems a sort of thing a man should do. Oh please, oh please, oh please, let me have that ability, It'd be so great! "

Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted that so badly, that he should have it. It seemed to be the sort of thing that would make him happy and she really wouldn't mind if Adam were the one given this ability. And so Adam was given the ability to urinate while in a vertical position. He was happy and did celebrate by wetting down the bark on the tree nearest him, laughing with delight all the while.

"Fine," God said looking back into his bag of leftovers. "What's left here? Oh yes, multiple orgasms..."

rofl Bubbles.... rofl I like that rofl

Another Joke YAY!


Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do

Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"

His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the butt and say, 'You as horny as I am?' . . . and, she always acts like she's sound asleep!"

Ok, not real sure if this is pg-13 or not, i'll take it down if someone thinks i ought to...
A woman and her boyfriend are out having a few drinks.While they're sitting there having a good time together she starts talking about this
really great new drink. The more she talks about it,the more excited
she gets,and starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one.
After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink for him.
The bartender brings the drink and puts the following on the bar A saltshaker, a shot of Baileys, and a shot of lime juice. The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman explains.

"First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue, next you drink the shot of Baileys and hold it in your mouth, and finally you drink the lime juice."

So, the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her, goes for it. He puts the salt on his tongue -- salty but OK. He drinks the shot of Baileys - smooth, rich, cool, very pleasant.

He thinks - this is OK.

Finally he picks up the lime juice and drinks it.

.... In one second the sharp lime taste hits... .... At two seconds the Baileys curdles .... At three seconds the salty curdled bitter taste hits.

This triggers his gag reflex but being manly, and not wanting to disappoint his girlfriend, he swallows the now nasty drink.

When he finally chokes it down he turns to his girlfriend, and says, "Jesus, what do you call that drink?" She smiles widely at him and says............


"Blow Job Revenge!"