Welcome to Gaia! ::

I am the way I am because I like being the way I am. ^-^

dressing the way i do makes me feel normal.......when those damn prepies dress skankily, they think its cool, but i dress darkly for the normality that i feel within meself.

3nodding

Why: It's simple, because if I didn't dress any other way, I wouldn't feel comfortable.
I wear black not as a fashion statement, to stick out, or to rebel against modernistic socities. No, I wear it for the color brings me comfort, it reminds me of space and the stars, and the moon ^_^. Plus, my whole family wears it, so we never noticed it was a "popular thing" til someone pointed it out to us.

I'm part of the culture and the music. I can't really see one "choosing" the music part and as for the culture part...I don't see why one would want to be something they aren't. Maybe they change a little from when they were young and decide that's not for them and to move on to something that suits them better.

...I am who I am and thats who I am.....unless I say otherwise.... xp


....don't ask....little hyper....

so basically, why am I the way I am?

WELL...I have always been a child that was a candidate for gothiness: I was an opinionated, creative child who loved to delve into all forms of art, visual, writen, musical etc. I often found I had different opinions than everyone, I spent a lot of time alone, just thinking. I always wondered why everyone's opinions were the same. I often found beauty where others couldn't, and disgust for things that didn't bother them.

But alas, social pressure was too much for my weak child's mind. Athough I knew I was different, I also wanted to be liked. And so I conformed.

I remember one outfit I had in middle school that was quite dark and I loved it. And one of my friends said to me:
"that makes you look like a goth!"
"Maybe I am one!....Just joking!" I said, and then we laughed about it. I wasn't sure why I was laughing. I had no idea what a goth was. I had never come across one before.

Because of my L33T conforming skills, I was liked well enough. But I still felt like I was the odd one out. I knew that deep down I never was like the other girls my age. And I was completely miserable. Then I met my first goth.

I met thomas at a christian camp the summer before last. I saw him around the camp ground, didn't pay any attention to him. And then he introduced himself to me and we talked, and I realised: He was the first person I really truely liked, whose company I enjoyed, whose views I appreciated, and whom I respected completely. I recognized a lot of myself in him. And That was the beginning of my transformation.

I believe the biggest transformation was in the way I express my views and Show my personality. I gained a lot of self confidence because I could show who I really was and be proud of it. The physical/stylistic transformation in my eyes is less significant, and more a product of my own developing creativity than an imitation of thomas. Because I do not try to dress the same as other goths. My outfits are like artwork and I'm proud of them. But if my style of dress was taken from me, I would still be the same goth inside.

So in conclusion, I have always been a goth, I only recently realised it.