Welcome to Gaia! ::

Got your passport? I think it's time for a change. Finish school, and go to the states. I can tell you all of the places where LGBTQQ2 live freely. The "P" is in there somewhere, I think I am forgetting a few letters. (Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Trans, Queer and Questioning, and 2 Spirit).

Or go to a different country across "the pond". Go to France, Italy, somewhere else. Go to New Zealand, Australia. Go elsewhere. Japan or Canada. Just get out of Britain.

I don't know what the 6th form is, but I can say, a lot of things that were drilled into our heads as kids, and made to think were important--in hindsight, weren't. Had I known as a kid, that had I not listened to my father, and stayed put, I could have gotten has a** arrested. But instead, I believed in keeping quiet, because my Christian school taught me so. So in all of those years my father left me by myself for hours on end, so he could go and live his life, I could have prevented it. ********, hindsight is incredible. My father is a ***** by the way. So the fact that the courts decided my case wasn't worth their time, and gave me back to him, I could have ruined his life, had I gotten up, and left the room I was in. It's probably conditioning of some sort.

I just stayed put. Eh.


I find it interesting that you talk about doing what you need to do go to college (which is long term goal), and yet you feel that you must die (which is short sighted). That's a good thing. That means you are truly conflicted.

Conflict is good. That means you are struggling to survive. You want to survive. Somewhere in you, it's not over. Don't let go of that.

I hate to say this, but your whole "I look vulnerable, someone's going to attack me" is a bunch of s**t. It's a personal road block that you, yourself are making up. I am a skinny b***h. And, I've been raped before. In broad daylght. By a stranger. But you know what? s**t happens. I learned to move on. If I ever want to go anywhere in life, I have to move on.

I have scars all over the place. I have ravished my body from anorexia/bulimia. I have issues. But, hell, I am not going to let my looks get in my way. I'm not going to be meek and quiet as a lamb. No, this time around, if a guy ever tries to take advantage of me, I plan to kill him. I will bite his d**k off. I will claw his eyes out. It will be Nadira's last stand.

I am going to go nuts, and make a scene. You got to just get out and go. Just go do it. You have the internet, search for ways to get out. Hostels are ALL over Europe.

Call Trevor--http://www.thetrevorproject.org/ Or check them out. Maybe they'd know of safe haven's for pan youth...

Just don't give up on yourself. Your 17 for crying out loud.

Well I'm not dead yet.

don't know if I'm old enough to register for donorship, but I was going to do that anyway. My insides are in perfect condition, apart from my brain, I don't drink or do drugs that regularly and I eat a variety of foods.
I try to help people now as it is.

I decided the other day that I don't want to die necessarily, because I've been feeling better. I was kind of annoyed though because last night I very suddenly felt terrible, and I'd been feeling good.
Mostly right now it's just stress because one of my friends is very very very bad and has been hinting he might attempt.

I'm not abandoning Simeon. He needs me. The stress of helping him now is far less than the stress I would feel if he killed himself because I wasn't there for him.