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 Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2013 4:21 pm
xChibi Cannibalx I dont believe it could be by a streight male. But a gay male, afraid to admit. It is better to rape and keep streight, than have consentual sex and be gay (not really, im just saying what they might be thinking). If the rapist was a streight male raping another male, it could also be because he wanted to try it, but didnt want to ask and be called gay for experimenting. Which leads me to: why is being gay such a horrible thing to some people? Be who you are, it is beautiful. I think that's a valid point, but again, there's so many different reasons why people do it. I think a lot of it can come down to power. Being gay steps out of what's seen as normal and ok by a lot of people, and that can make people panic so much because things aren't happening in the set way they've been taught that things happen, so they immediately do the most violent thing they can to try and put a stop to it and scare everything back to being the way they want it to be. As for people's problems with homosexuality - people are still stuck in the Dark Ages and believing that love comes after money and power and producing heirs, and the only sex a person should be having is purely for creating children. Sex purely because of love, and a different kind of love, seems so alien to some people. Plus, and I am in no way saying that all religious people are homophobic, because I know plenty who aren't, but there are a lot of people who are all too willing to follow to the letter writings that were created thousands of years ago. People say that marriage is traditionally between a man and a woman, but it was once also tradition to poo in a bucket and then throw it out of the window onto the street and passersby.
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Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 8:24 am
xChibi Cannibalx 1. Why do people rape people? Is there a common factor among all rapists? Rape happens for various different reasons and from my opinion, none of them can be justified. I found the most common to be predatorial, it's are instincts to seak power and be in control of others - this probably due to us evolving from apes and other animals. Rapists crave the feeling of knowing they have power over someone weaker, vulnerabler then themselves. The common excuse is, 'they were asking for it.' But some people don't even realise its rape. It's still classed as rape if the victim is high or intoxicated or even unconscious. But no there is no common factor among rapists, as like Lorien said, all rapes are different. xChibi Cannibalx 2. Why dont people understand how horrible rape is? Rape is a hard thing to comprehend for people that have never had it happen to them or someone close to them. And even when it's happened to someone close to them some people don't understand, so they bully them and call them 'easy' 'gay' or 'slut'. It's an instinct for us to do this when were scared or confused and don't really understand something. Like, voldeturtle said, some people don't want to. They don't like the thought of how easily a person could violate someone else. And the don't want to acknowledge how badly it can affect someone. So they resort to name calling and blaming. xChibi Cannibalx 3. Why do rapist only searve 6 or less years in prison? Just because the victim didnt didnt physicaly die, chances are their mental state is shot - atleast for a while. Rape is one of the hardest crimes to actually get evidence for. You can only take the victims/witness' word for it. That is why the sentence isn't always as long as other crime sentences, but as Lorien said, they can be longer. xChibi Cannibalx 4. Why are most victims afread to speak up? Even when asked in anonymous questionares? Personally, I think it's fear of what people might say, or do. I've told a few friends off mine, two let me down. One of them - a girl I used to call my bestfriend - used it against me by making do things 'else she'd tell. Another 'friend' (called Lauren) found out every detail I was willing to tell and the next day told people she was raped whilst walking home. Rape victims are normally labeled, depending on the manor of their rape - the usual 'easy' 'slut' or 'she diserved it'. This is why some rape victims are scared of coming forward for fear of being blamed, even online as IP address can be traced back to them. It's also the fear or not being accepted, some even believing it was their fault when it blatantly isn't. And lastly, it's horrible when others look down on your or even offer you their sympathy, it's not always wanted but is a garuntee you'll get it. xChibi Cannibalx 5. Why do people, mostly kids, joke about rape? I see tons of usernames on websites like: "iWantToRapeYou". As well as kids saying theyre going to rape their friends, and then they all laugh Like Lorien said, the term is used in game play. Another is, if you joke about it, it can start to seem like a myth, like it can't happen to your or someone close to you. Another reason I've noticed is, like my 'friend' Lauren, some people just want the attention it can give.
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Posted: Wed Feb 13, 2013 6:25 pm
eaterjolly Forgive me if i misconstrue anything, my knowledge of rape is limited to very specific instances. Also an interesting note is I know the stories of 3 guys who were raped (by a women) and 1 girl. 1. Why do people rape people? -Because the rapist thinks it's ok. He generally programs it in his mind that he or she is playing hard to get, or that that they don't want it only because they are afraid and that they will learn to like it. In all 4 stories the latter became true. I don't know anyone who was tramautized by sex or rape. But i know a few people who had it young and can't stop thinking about haveing it at times, because of it now. 2. Why dont people understand how horrible rape is? -Because they don't believe it is. Because kids, teens, are hard-headed and don't believe that the things they do affect other people. Because whenever a kid tries to change a person for the better, it generally fails. 3. Why do rapist only serve 6 or less years in prison? -Because they generally didn't realize it was wrong. Would you punish a man for murder, after he reconciles and attempted to give his life save 6 orphans from a burning building, but miraculously survives 3rd degree burns in the process? It's counter productive. The purpose of the law isn't to punish the wicked.. Its to justify the good by REFORMING the wicked. Don't get blind sighted by revenge. 4. Why are most victims afread to speak up? -Simply, if you pretend it never happened, you can live as though it never happened. 5. Why do people, mostly kids, joke about rape? -Don't try and rob people of this. You may think joking may encourage this behavior, but it doesn't. When you actively talk about rape it makes, it may make those affected by it unconfortable, but that how you know. If people didn't make fun of her by calling her cheeze roll, because the guy who took her virginity bought her a cheeze roll to make up for it. If I never saw how much it hurt her, I would have never had the sense to sake her, and I would have never known. Just like joking about sexuality is away people can be open about it. We as a people dont need to stop joking about things, we need to learn how to stop being cruel about it. I hope this topic isn't dead and someone still reads this, because I believe my voice on this topic is still important. I do still read all of the replies, even if i dont reply to them I dont have much time at the moment, so replies to this will be short 1. Ive developed post traumatic stress disorder from being raped. It doesnt help i have aspergers. I reply the scene in my head over and over, the pain comes along with it, mentaly and physicaly. I do pass out and go into panic attacks from even hearing the word. 2. Changing people doesnt always fail, it depends how and what you are tyring to change. 3. Justice is to make peace with both sides; to make one whole. Murdering someone then saving a bunch of kids did not make the other party whole; they are still missing a family memeber. Chargers should still be in effect, no matter what the person does after their crime. Or wed have a lot of murderers getting off scott-free because they saved a kid after their murder. 4. I pretended it never happened to me, and look where i am. It made it so much worse than if i spoke up. Why? I was his first victim, but not his only. And i blame myself for not helping the other girls. 5. This is where you really piss me off. If i knew you in real life, your face would meet my steel-toed boots. Im sure you know why.
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Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2013 10:41 am
eaterjolly xChibi Cannibalx I do still read all of the replies, even if i dont reply to them I dont have much time at the moment, so replies to this will be short 1. Ive developed post traumatic stress disorder from being raped. It doesnt help i have aspergers. I reply the scene in my head over and over, the pain comes along with it, mentaly and physicaly. I do pass out and go into panic attacks from even hearing the word. 2. Changing people doesnt always fail, it depends how and what you are tyring to change. 3. Justice is to make peace with both sides; to make one whole. Murdering someone then saving a bunch of kids did not make the other party whole; they are still missing a family memeber. Chargers should still be in effect, no matter what the person does after their crime. Or wed have a lot of murderers getting off scott-free because they saved a kid after their murder. 4. I pretended it never happened to me, and look where i am. It made it so much worse than if i spoke up. Why? I was his first victim, but not his only. And i blame myself for not helping the other girls. 5. This is where you really piss me off. If i knew you in real life, your face would meet my steel-toed boots. Im sure you know why. 1. I'm deeply sorry 2. Time has taught me that, but there was a time I gave up on society. 3. Justice does not mean to make peace, but rather it means to rid the world of evil. I did not say that the man simply save 6 orphan, i said he reconcile and commited his life to saving those orphans. This means that the man recognized what he did was foul and evil, decided he'd never do it again and that he would attempt to redeem himself by sacrificing himself for those 6 orphans. There would be no use behind putting a man like that behind bars if he would never kill again. A man going to prison for 6 years on rape charges, is because in those 6 years he will get enough beatings and butt rape, or he might get enough therapy or counciling (not to excuse what he did but statistics do show the majority of rapists were raped at one point) he might reform himself. 6 years is a long time when your looking at it, and everyone is redeemable. 4. I didn't mean to imply that was the correct coarse of acction.. (again im deeply sorry) I digress to my girlfriend, I would have never known the truth if it wasn't for a simple joke. Even though the person saying it didn't know why calling her that hurt her so much. 5. Ironically i use to work at taco bell at one point while we were together and i got her a free cheeze roll one day and if i remember correctly she had a smile on her face and she called me a jackass lol I know it probably still hurts and I probably have no idea what I'm talking about, but my belief is until you can laugh about what happened you'll never feel better. Though if the guy is still at large I recommend finding him and beating his a**. 2. Ive given up on society because no ones willing to help. Everyone, including you, seem to just put it off as if its not really bad. If you believe in the bible, it says all crimes are equaly as evil. 3. Whether he saved them once, or many times, he still should be in jail for what he did. The other persons family would be still broken. And yes, justice is about making both parties whole, balanced. If party A steals money from party B, doesnt party A deserve their money back if party B buys something for charitfy? Yes, because it wasnt party Bs money to begin with. A rapist, no matter how good he/she became after their crime, deserves all of the beatings and rape they get in jail. Most, even after jail however, continue their crimes. 4. It seems most keep quiet due to fear of people calling her/him names (slut, whore, easy, ect). My best friend did this to me. I told her because i was scared and she ditched me. She then told the whole school i was easy. No one would talk to me; many people thought i had desises because they believed her. When i stuck up for myself saying it was rape, they didnt believe me because of all the rumors shes already spread. I lost all my friends and quickly became the most hated person in my grade. 5. Personaly, i dont think its funny, and never will. Stealing people innocence, happiness, virginity is no laughing matter. It hurts people. My boyfriends mother was raped, and even mentioning the word freaks her out. Shell laugh to mask her fear, but go and hide somewhere either crying or shaking. Shes nearly 50 and it happened when she was 13. For the sake of others, stop joking about it. You dont relise who your hurting. I nearly bled to death from a friend joking about it. I went home and cut. I woke up in the hospital. Ill never see him again, although he said he wants to find me when im older. If he will, i dont know. He lives several states away now, but still stalks me over the internet. My username can be changed to anything, i wont post anything about myself at all - heck, i could leave the whole account blank, and hed find out that its mine some how.
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Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2013 3:39 pm
Making jokes about rape, in the context of laughing at the victims, does not actually help make things more open. It's often used as a method of intimidation - for instance, I saw somewhere a photo of this woman at a feminist rally (it's quite a widely circulated picture, I believe) wearing just pants and plasters over her nipples, with the words 'still not asking for it' either on her stomach or a sign or something. Anyway, the first comment I saw on there was someone saying 'I would rape her so hard, that'd shut her up'. Doesn't sound like an attempt to open up the topic of rape for discussion.
The fact of the matter is, with all jokes based on other people, the joke is only funny if the people it's about agree that it is. If you say something about rape and a rape victim finds it offensive, then you've offended them and it's your job to apologise, never their job to just get over it - they've been traumatised enough as it is, without being told to laugh it off.
Rape jokes - like the Wanda Sykes one about jogging in the park - that make fun of rape culture and point out this warped view that rapists have of people are good, because they help show how stupid rape is and aren't making fun of the victims, but they should still tread carefully.
Rape is not always just because they think no means yes. Some do it because they know no means no but they've decided that their consent is enough. Some do it as a punishment - so-called 'corrective' rapes, for example.
Justice isn't about doing any good deed to clear away your past sins. It doesn't work like that. You can cure malaria and you're still a rapist and you still need to make up for that. You can't go (and I don't mean to attack Catholicism, but it's the general idea of 'just do this and you will be absolved', and confession is the most common example of that I can think of) "well yeah I did force myself on that poor person, but I said ten 'Hail Mary's so why are you so bothered?"
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Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 6:44 am
eaterjolly Voldeturtle I saw somewhere a photo of this woman at a feminist rally (it's quite a widely circulated picture, I believe) wearing just pants and plasters over her nipples, with the words 'still not asking for it' either on her stomach or a sign or something. Anyway, the first comment I saw on there was someone saying 'I would rape her so hard, that'd shut her up'. I never mean't that.. As I said it's not the joking that needs to stop, it's the cruelty, that sometimes motivates the joking, that needs to stop. Telling a 12 year old not to use his new favorite word while playing call of duty, won't accomplish anything. Though I see your point, aswell. Telling the 12 year old that his new favourite word can cause people to have panic attacks and is trivialising a very serious issue is still what needs to happen though. The jokes about rape wouldn't be there anywhere near as much if the cruelty motivating them wasn't.
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Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 11:35 am
Voldeturtle Making jokes about rape, in the context of laughing at the victims, does not actually help make things more open. It's often used as a method of intimidation - for instance, I saw somewhere a photo of this woman at a feminist rally (it's quite a widely circulated picture, I believe) wearing just pants and plasters over her nipples, with the words 'still not asking for it' either on her stomach or a sign or something. Anyway, the first comment I saw on there was someone saying 'I would rape her so hard, that'd shut her up'. Doesn't sound like an attempt to open up the topic of rape for discussion. The fact of the matter is, with all jokes based on other people, the joke is only funny if the people it's about agree that it is. If you say something about rape and a rape victim finds it offensive, then you've offended them and it's your job to apologise, never their job to just get over it - they've been traumatised enough as it is, without being told to laugh it off. Rape jokes - like the Wanda Sykes one about jogging in the park - that make fun of rape culture and point out this warped view that rapists have of people are good, because they help show how stupid rape is and aren't making fun of the victims, but they should still tread carefully. Rape is not always just because they think no means yes. Some do it because they know no means no but they've decided that their consent is enough. Some do it as a punishment - so-called 'corrective' rapes, for example. Justice isn't about doing any good deed to clear away your past sins. It doesn't work like that. You can cure malaria and you're still a rapist and you still need to make up for that. You can't go (and I don't mean to attack Catholicism, but it's the general idea of 'just do this and you will be absolved', and confession is the most common example of that I can think of) "well yeah I did force myself on that poor person, but I said ten 'Hail Mary's so why are you so bothered?" Thank you for your input, i dont have time to reply fully, but i really appreiciate yer oppinion on this topic :3 I wish more people would appologize for horrible jokes, but sadly none ive met have every appologized for putting me into a panic attack
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Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2013 11:42 am
eaterjolly God, forgive me, I had no idea something so serious existed, I thought that was all law-and-order make belief. I wish I could help. But as for using the word jokingly, it's like saying "a cannibal strung me up, cut off my leg, cooked it, and ate it infront of me.. So how dare you name your profile after a cannibal" Just like one person would bite some one's shoulder and say "nom nom nom im eating your shoulder" jokingly, a people who are in love might touch each other and joking about raping each other. You can't taboo something to the world that 99% of the time is meant in the best of intentions, whether it be 2 lovers or 2 competitors, the word "rape" unfortunately bring everybody just a little bit closer together. No matter how disgusting or horrible or terrifying it is, it isn't unreasonable to ask a few people to stop the use of those simple words arround you, but it's an injustice to ban the whole world. You know what if I were you, and I know thats a bold statement because I still can't imagine how hard it is for you... I would live free... I would live free of the fear of that man... I would do everything in my power to ready myself, so if I ever saw him again I would kill him or die trying before I'd ever let him get the satisfaction of seeing me affraid. Otherwise until that day came I'd live readily and happily without the concerns of what others are doing. But thats just me. I'm sorry. I truly am. Youre blocked, how can you still reply to this? Do me a favor, and just stop replying. I dont want your opinion any longer. I didnt read all of this, because i couldnt. Talking to you scares me. What you say scares me. Its people like you, that make people think rape is ok. The word makes people closer? I hear it as a joke, and i leave that person. Whether it be my lover of 3 years or my best friend for 12. As soon as a disgusting joke about it is mad, they ar no friend of mine. My trust for all has been broken. I have no love towards the human race. I feel ashambed to be the same species as people like you. Let me make my past a bit more known, i met my rapist here on gaia. I still remember his username, and he still logs on although he said he quit. He used to say all of the time that he wanted to rape me, and i took it as a joke. Hed always make rape jokes, JOKES. Turns out, they werent jokes. How was i suposed to know before it happened. Saying cannibal jokes is not the same as rape. Its not even close to rape. I wish i could tell you whats on my mind right now, but saying it would get me banned from gaia. Stop replying to me, and stop replying to this topic.
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