3:16 - Carnage Amongst the Stars - Game Thread (Mission #1)

[Rain Yupa]

Mission Record # 323268A
Date: Confidential
Time: 1230
Location: Office of Lt. Sanders
Beginning playback...
...
...
...

Lieutenant Sanders was a toad of a man. Five feet tall on a good day, this rotund pile of excrement sat confidently in his leather chair, his sausage fingers gripping a short stack of papers which he tapped against the surface of his chrome-topped desk.

"'Sabout time, worms," he said with disdain, as he sat there glowering. Always glowering.

"I know you princesses are still sleepy from waking up from cryo. Well, too freakin' bad. You've had enough ugly sleep, now it's time to earn your keep. The Carnage has arrived at its first destination since The Event, and we're ready to drop in 30. The planet's name is Caravaggio, a Type 2 planet approx. 110% the size of Terra. It's surface is 90% water, so I hope you've brought your two-pieces. This ain't no vacation, though."

Clearing his throat of flem, Sanders would continue. "There has been a series of communications that have been broadcasted from the planet's surface. They ceased as soon as we entered orbit, though, so whatever is down there is either expecting us, or trying to escape notice. Scans, however, reveal no life forms on the surface. They were probably done by imbeciles like you, so the higher-ups have decided the scans are inconclusive. On the off chance that the inhabitants are violent, we are sending you lot down there. Hopefully, one of you will get a radio communication out before you've been splattered across some god-forsaken reef."

Handing Sergeant Kovack a datapad from across his desk, Sanders made a shooing motion with his hands. "You are dismissed. I'd say it was an honor knowing you, but I'm a terrible liar, so with any luck, I won't be seeing your ugly mugs ever again."

Upon the datapad, Kovack would have a list of names and basic profiles of soldiers that would be under his command for this mission:

Lambs to the Slaughter

Corporal Tantalus
Trooper Griswold
Trooper Soto
Trooper Ramon
Trooper Mccarthy
Trooper Zeke
Trooper Castro
Trooper Roberts
Trooper Smith
Trooper Cassidy
Trooper Drauss
Trooper Holloway
Trooper Arnold
Trooper Wolfe
Trooper Lopez

Everyone, you have about 24 hours real time to post your reactions and any preparations you want to make before drop time!  

[Mongooseh]

Trevor would take the datapad, salute then march out of the room to the barracks where he would kick the door open. Grabbing the metal bin and a stick he banged loudly and clearly while shouting in a very muffled tone since he never removed his gas mask (yet he could be understood easily),

"Rise and shine! Drop your cocks and grab your socks! We have a mission today and it feels like a good day to die!"

Dropping the bin and stick Trevor pulled out the datapad and continued shouting, "Corporal Tantalus you'll be my second, now find me these special people chosen to do the great work of Terra! Griswold, Soto, Ramon, Mccarthy, Zeke, Castro, Roberts, Smith, Cassidy, Drauss, Holloway, Arnold, Wolfe and Lopez! All of you should be ready in no less than 10 minutes!"  

[Rain Yupa]

It would not be long before the lot of you were shuffled off onto a drop ship, armored up and loaded for bear with ammo and grenades. Some of you were probably still drowsy from waking from cryo, and you were being rushed around by crew and staff into a fairly cramped chamber with a bunch of people you probably didn't recognize.

Though, your wake-up call came soon enough. The pilot would communicate through his comm-set about the status of the drop, flicking switches and pressing buttons as the blackness of space could be seen through each window. That was quickly replaced with a bright, searing light as the drop ship broke through the atmosphere, and the vehicle began to rattle like crazy!

Everyone, give me Non-Fighting Ability rolls to avoid emptying the contents of your stomachs!

The ship would thunder louder than any storm as poorly secured gear fell about the cabin, and a screw in the metal plating of the ceiling began to free itself through the vibrations - hopefully it was not securing anything important.

"Uhhh... brace yourselves, ladies and gentlemen, we're down a thruster and our rate of descent is a bit*WHHAAAMMMM!!*

Okay, that sucked. Thankfully, and hopefully, some of you were properly strapped in on time. The dropship was no longer quaking like downtown Los Angeles on a bad day, and was finally stationary - albeit, at a 30 degree incline towards the cockpit.

"Ah! Sorry about that, folks!" the pilot would call out, giving a brief wave of his hand through the cockpit door without actually revealing his face.

You are now faced with an important task: Kill the pilot, or take in the sights now visible through the drop ship's windows. Outside was an endless view of white coastline, dotted with palm-like fern trees and occasional bouts of grass. The water that contrasted the beaches was crystal clear and the most beautiful shade of blue, and it kissed the sandbars gently with each peaceful wave. The view was breathtaking and went on for miles, the only obstructions being large abstract interwoven matrices of coral reefs that protruded from both sand and ocean alike, each one a different shade than the next.

Not a single life form could be seen, nor sign of civilization.  

[SporkMaster5000]

((Non-vomiting ability: 4))

"Grizzled" Griswold as he was sometimes known had no trouble waking up from cryo, but getting his bearings in the crazed environment of the ship was a different matter, and he spent the whole loading process being shuffled around by smaller, more well adjusted crew. Whatever downtime he had between being ordered around, he spent double- and triple-checking his weapon. Full clip, extra mags, clean barrel. Every time.

Then they were plummeting through the air and oh god he would never get used to this. Once they were on the ground and the contents of several stomachs were shared with the class (his own among them), he looks out the window the get an idea of their surroundings. "Secure the area, sir?" he addresses neither specific superior officer, and doesn't take the initiative just in case there are lifeforms out there they just can't see, and which might maul the first one of them out the door horribly.  

[Meditatus Sanctum Mien]

(( Digestive Constitution: 4 ))

Trooper Drauss sat there oiling up her weapon with the tender caress of a well seasoned lover and chewed the butt end of a lighted cancer stick. She didn't care if her meat head brethren looked at her funny, but the mixed chemicals in the deadly oncological disaster soothed her. The tobacco was rancid and it tasted like s**t, but it was cud, and chewing cancer cud was good in the middle of this crammed up sausage fest on a high protein and testosterone ingested diet. She inhaled and smoke filtered through her nose when the ship started shaking rather violently as they approached atmospheric tension. She chewed what was left of the cancer stick and swallowed it. It burned and seethed in her mouth and down her throat, but she'd faster choose this pain than losing all of her electrolytes in one go.

"This metal ridden badonkadonk better have enough cushion to get us a smooth la–!!"

A ruthless shudder vibrated through her and she felt her world turn upside down, inside out, at the speed of a tumbling meteorite. She always, always, always, HATED this part. What the cancer stick really did, was keep her earlier ingested lunch from forming into projectile vomit. And instead, she lost whatever constitution her stomach withheld and wretched all over the filthy metal floor. When their descent halted, she ripped her restraints off, and grunted. She got on her feet, but lit another cancer stick and sighed when the nicotine coursed through her lungs. Once she got out and hefted her Slugger, she looked around and inhaled and puffed out a cloud of smoke.

"Oh, great heaving bosoms of the mother land, where the actual feth is this?! A fracking resort? Gimme some action for fethssakes!"  

[Raganui Minamoto]

Tom checked his weapons as he moved, muttering at the horrible breakfast he had consumed. Still, it was better than seeing if any xenolobo... xenologa... alien food was edible, or the aliens themselves. Barely. Sitting back, he held on tight in hopes that he wouldn't be seeing the disgusting stuff again before lunch.

[NF: 4]

He barely kept his stomach in line as the ship decided to shake, rattle, and roll.  

[NayrVentess]

As soon as Corporal Tantalus came out of Cryo, he lit up a cancer stick and began puffing away. And when he finished that one, he lit another. At the end of the briefing, he helped his superior, Kovack to get the sorry excuses for troopers ready. Soon enough, they were in the dropship and ready to descend to the planet. Tantalus knew what was coming, most of the soldiers, him included were going to empty their stomachs on the metal floor, the dropship still had a vague scent of sicked up TRM's anyway.

The gruff Tantalus, wearing aviators and sporting a goatee noticed Trooper Drauss across from him, smoking (good) and oiling up her weapon (very good) up and down, up and down. As the craft began to descend rapidly, Tantalus had just enough time to declare (whilst looking at Drauss) "Shiiiit, I haven't had a ******** in months, and you sit there..." Then his stomach interrupted him by ejecting all of its contents. He was relieved to see that Drauss had done the same.

As the craft pretty much crashed landed, Tantlaus got out of his seat, almost slipping on all the vomit, lit a cancer stick straight away, noticing that Drauss had done exactly the same (what a woman!) and shouted to the pilot. "What in the name of all that is holy...?! What the ******** hell were you doing when you were meant to be learning how to fly this ******** CRAFT?! I mean come on, you fly like a ******** woman!" He then added as an after thought to the hot Drauss across from him; "No offense Trooper."

As Griswold looked out of the window and asked what to do, Tantalus nodded, "You bet your sorry a** Griswald. Troopers! Get out and secure the landing zone. You see anything moving you shoot it, even a little fish swimming in the sea, it's most likely a vicious creature that wants nothing more than to clasp onto your d**k and chew until you ain't got nothing left, so you shoot that little ******** before he gives you the b*****b from hell; MOVE!"

Tantalus would wait until at least three or four troopers had left the dropship before following them out himself.

NFA: 3  

[Erisel]

Zeke steps out of cryo stretching glad he is still alive. Checking over his equipment he found something off. His mind couldn't place it. Las rifle: check, armor: check, dogfood: check. What was missing? Maybe it was just the foggy effects of being turned into a human popsicle.
[nfs:3]
Then he realized what he was missing." Who stole my cancer sti-" The compartment lurched and for once he was glad the additional chemicals in his system were only from the defreeze process. He laughed as the others painted the floor with their stomach contents. Eventually the pure stink forced him to turn and look out the view-port.  

[Mongooseh]

(Rawling place holder NFA: 7 (Betcha it'll still fail) I lose that bet apparently)

On the rapid descent that would shake the drop ship to pieces but while everyone emptied their stomachs Trevor sat stoutly although a weird noise was coming from him as he glanced around his gas mask almost growing a grin,

"HMMMMPH HMMMM HMMM HM HMMMMM!" Trevor would laugh making his mask steam up before shouting more clearly, "I LOVE THIS PART!"

The risky landing was making Trevor even more happy because he loved excitement during missions,

"Good work pilot I love landings like that!" Cheered Trevor as he dismounted, "Alright ladies! That means you especially Drauss set up a perimeter while I decide which direction to send our little trainwreck! Also before doing that anyone who decided Terra's grateful gift of food was more deserved on the floor shall now shovel it back up and bag it! This will be your pillow if you survive today! Let this be a reminder that you shall not waste Terra's delicious food!"  

[SporkMaster5000]

Griswold was just about to act on the foul-mouthed corporal's orders when the sergeant made his declaration about cleaning up the mess on the floor. He eyed the puddle warily, until the sergeant also mentioned Terra's delicious food. TRMs clearly weren't that, so feeling relieved that he hadn't contributed anything needing cleaning to the floor, he opted to be first to the hatch. After releasing the airlock, he kicks open the hatch with his gun at the ready. No such thing as too much caution. Or apparently, enough following proper door operating procedure, armored hatches are heavy.

((door kicking's still kicking ability: 6))  

[Arc Vembris]

((not puking ability: 6))

"The Lord giveth, and she taketh away." the good padre mutters as he wiped his mouth. He quickly lit up a cancer stick to cut the taste of bile in his mouth  

[Meditatus Sanctum Mien]

From the cleaning kit in the storage compartment to her left, she took out an insta-hot towel, wiped her face with it, and put in a small strip of disinfecting mouth cleaner. "Yes, sir!" Trooper Drauss bit back a barrage of vicious comments boiling on her tongue. She would sooner end up on the outer reaches of this cold galaxy without so much as an a** kicking and several desperate dry humps good bye. She stretched her neck muscles, an audible crack resounding throughout the crammed cabin. Her sepia colored eyes drifted to the muck ridden floor.

"Damn, this is a whole lotta' hog's piss to mop up..."

She chewed on the butt end of her cancer stick again. The rancid stench of this crammed up drop ship was starting to get to her. Immediately, she took out the rest of the cleaning kit, a jar from her suit, got on her knees in that god awful rancor and mopped it up and scrubbed vigorously like she was told. The mixed content of everyone's vomit in her own containment jar made her grimace. If there was any urge to fight off, it was to start a bloody brawl with the lot of 'em. Her blood boiled every time she was degraded like this. "This is some messed up frackshit..." she murmured, as she took a sturdy towel drenched in cleaning chemicals and cleaned the rest of her mess up. Wincing, she wiped "her" miniature jar of chucked up spew and tucked it into an available compartment. After cleaning off her armor's front and hand digits, she lit up yet another cancer stick.

"Rather smell my fethin' smoke than the insides of all of your stomachs combined..."

She eyed Trooper Zeke's laughing veneer. She gruffly tapped him on the shoulder. " 'Ere." She stuck another cancer stick in her mouth, puffed on it, licked her lips, and offered it to Trooper Zeke. "You owe me one."

Drauss lifted her weapon. She gave it another swift once over. Her half-lidded eyes scanned the lively verdant of the jungle, the cascading white sand dunes, and the foam crested ripples that gilded the shore through the viewing window. "Pretty picture–" Maybe it was due to the cryo effects, but she stared a little too long at the scenery painted before her. "Disappointing, is what." She heaved a smoke filled sigh and found nothing to compliment her bloodthirsty fancy. Somethin' didn't smell right. "s**t...the only thing that'll be able to cheer me the hell up right now better than a blood bath is a frackin' throwdown. Or a lay."  

[Arc Vembris]

Padre Ramon is down helping with the cleaning kit right away. A minute's work with the sick of the floor would be worth a trip to the beach. A fair share of it scooped up, Trooper Ramon would stride out onto the white sands.''

"iQue bonita!" And then he looked at the scenery, lowering his wayfarers onto his face and slicking back his hair. He strode close to Trooper Drauss and surveyed the scene with her. "Maybe we come here on leave, yeah? Wipe out the critters and then time for some sun and fun. The waves at your feet, the sand in your hair." He drags on his stick. "We reach objective quick, maybe you can have the last part of your request."  

[NayrVentess]

Tantalus was about to offer Drauss some 'alone time', when that Padre Ramon got in the way. "Trooper you have better things to be doing that trying to score here, get a move on! Take a leaf out of Griswalds book."

Corporal Tantalus would take another drag on his second cancer stick of the trip, and pick up his magnificent E-Cannon from his seat. He quietly whispered, "How you doing today sweety? You ready to slaughter some more aliens?"

He then flicked a few switches and turns a few dials, causing the huge weapon to make a zzzzzzzzrrrrrrrrrrrrruuuuuuuunnnnnk noise, as it powered up. "Right, if you wastes of space haven't followed your Sergeant's orders and set up a ******** perimeter in the next 10 seconds, I'm going to get tetchy and you may start dying! Me and Maggie here are wanting to slay something, and if you're not quick, it'll be you! Hurry up!"