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 Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2011 10:42 pm
Ah yes. I remember her. I don't know why she's so passionate about this. She actually seems to be antagonizing you as well as others that have this lifestyle. Like her opinion is going to change our lives.
"Oh yes, stranger on the internet, I now see the error of my sinful ways. Oh, thank you for showing me the light!" confused
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Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 8:17 am
Fizzlesticks Indeed. As I've learnt already from being a queer, a poet, having a shaved head--etc!--when you are different, you put up with the way people react. She's annoying. And I think a bit slow in the head. BUT I imagine that rage or banning is what she wants; I think it probably annoys her to politely and reasonably reply each time. biggrin Yeah, it can still be difficult sometimes, but you do what you can and keep a cool head. Things go a lot smoother that way. That's true too. I guess that was sort of obvious when she started to go on about "if you didn't want my opinion, why did you ask for it?" just because you were taking what she said into consideration but refuting it none the less in a polite manner and spamming your thread with those pictures. I just don't understand how that sort of behaviour is supposed to prove a point. But oh well sad You're a pretty level-headed person it seems Fizz and I think you're handling this whole thing wonderfully biggrin
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Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 9:06 am
Mameoyashi Yeah, it can still be difficult sometimes, but you do what you can and keep a cool head. Things go a lot smoother that way. That's true too. I guess that was sort of obvious when she started to go on about "if you didn't want my opinion, why did you ask for it?" just because you were taking what she said into consideration but refuting it none the less in a polite manner and spamming your thread with those pictures. I just don't understand how that sort of behaviour is supposed to prove a point. But oh well sad You're a pretty level-headed person it seems Fizz and I think you're handling this whole thing wonderfully biggrin Pigheadedness. Sigh. But fortunately, when I reported her spammy-picture posts, they were deleted. A mod actually doing something?! Yay. Thank you. I feel encouraged because the peers I have talked to about it so far have, at worst, been non-judgemental, and at best been understanding and even curious. Diabolical Eevee Ah yes. I remember her. I don't know why she's so passionate about this. She actually seems to be antagonizing you as well as others that have this lifestyle. Like her opinion is going to change our lives.
"Oh yes, stranger on the internet, I now see the error of my sinful ways. Oh, thank you for showing me the light!" confused The light!!! biggrin
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Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 9:10 am
Fizzlesticks Mameoyashi Yeah, it can still be difficult sometimes, but you do what you can and keep a cool head. Things go a lot smoother that way. That's true too. I guess that was sort of obvious when she started to go on about "if you didn't want my opinion, why did you ask for it?" just because you were taking what she said into consideration but refuting it none the less in a polite manner and spamming your thread with those pictures. I just don't understand how that sort of behaviour is supposed to prove a point. But oh well sad You're a pretty level-headed person it seems Fizz and I think you're handling this whole thing wonderfully biggrin Pigheadedness. Sigh. But fortunately, when I reported her spammy-picture posts, they were deleted. A mod actually doing something?! Yay. Thank you. I feel encouraged because the peers I have talked to about it so far have, at worst, been non-judgemental, and at best been understanding and even curious. Hey, I used to mod the LD and LI. We did stuff. emo (Though I can certainly understand that it doesn't seem like much gets done, it's mostly an understaffing/underreporting issue than actual mod laziness). >.< But yay for getting it handled. I'm actually pretty surprised because I've been stalking checking up on your thread frequently and I didn't even see her actual spammy picture post proper, just you quoting it. So that was pretty fast action for spam in the LI. heart Peers are good like that.
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Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 9:13 am
Mameoyashi Hey, I used to mod the LD and LI. We did stuff. emo (Though I can certainly understand that it doesn't seem like much gets done, it's mostly an understaffing/underreporting issue than actual mod laziness). >.< But yay for getting it handled. I'm actually pretty surprised because I've been stalking checking up on your thread frequently and I didn't even see her actual spammy picture post proper, just you quoting it. So that was pretty fast action for spam in the LI. heart Peers are good like that. I exaggerate. wink LI mods are usually pretty quick; I imagine they know it's a dangerous and popular place. No updates on my thread in ages though!
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Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 9:16 am
Fizzlesticks I exaggerate. wink LI mods are usually pretty quick; I imagine they know it's a dangerous and popular place. No updates on my thread in ages though! Haha, I figured hence the emo face. Have the LI mods gotten quicker then? I've always found them to be quite slow (even when I was modding, but that was because back then there was a ginormous LI queue.) Yay for getting quicker biggrin Boo for no thread updates sad But on the other hand... Yay for no more harassing type updates to the thread...? So it balances out...maybe?
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Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2011 9:20 am
Mameoyashi Fizzlesticks I exaggerate. wink LI mods are usually pretty quick; I imagine they know it's a dangerous and popular place. No updates on my thread in ages though! Haha, I figured hence the emo face. Have the LI mods gotten quicker then? I've always found them to be quite slow (even when I was modding, but that was because back then there was a ginormous LI queue.) Yay for getting quicker biggrin Boo for no thread updates sad But on the other hand... Yay for no more harassing type updates to the thread...? So it balances out...maybe? I think I probably got what I needed from the thread, so it's okay. Ordering some more books. F says, of his own accord, he's "really coming around to these ideas." ;D
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Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 6:43 pm
Yay! Compersion! On Thursday I took F to a cafe where I have a (reciprocated) crush on a waitress, and we had a great time sharing my giggles and coy smiles. It was rad! How about that!
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Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 8:07 pm
That is so rad!! Excitement! Sounds like fun smile
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Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2011 1:27 am
And last night had a very, very long talk with W, which was more difficult than talks with F. Getting there, though--moving towards understanding one another. Eeee.
Also I have the green light to ask That Cute Waitress out for a drink. razz
I'm gonna post my notes on my conversation with W so I have them stored somewhere/don't forget the things we went over.
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Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2011 4:31 pm
Boring-Notes-for-Fizz's-Reference
- We talked about what I want or might want/expect. I said I was happy for our friendship to remain at the level of intimacy it is. I’d also be interested in pursuing something more definitely romantic/sexual in the future, if everyone were happy with that and if it were mutually beneficial.
- We agreed that now is not the right time to make any changes, and in fact you felt you’d be more comfortable if we take a step back and ensure intimacy is non-sexual. In many ways we’re already behaving like we’re in a relationship that’s more intimate/romantic than your average friendship; you’ve said you’re concerned about me filling the girlfriend-space in your head and that you’ve had involuntary thoughts/anxieties regarding that feeling that give you pause. How do we need to discuss/name/change the way we behave to make you feel more comfortable?
- We agreed that there’s no inevitability/certainty regarding us pursuing things in the future. (For reference, it’s definitely not off the cards for Francis, but he agrees it’d be a way off.) In the meantime, I know you have no obligation to me romantically—I’m not expecting you to wait around till we get the green light.
- You asked how I’d feel if you became involved with someone else now/in the near future—and I said I’d have to think about it. I can’t deny I’d be upset if we weren’t able to maintain the kind of relationship we have at the moment, but I don’t think it would be the end of the friendship by any means. I’d just need time to adjust.
- I asked about the sleepovers and that led to us discussing whether we were formalising an arrangement. I think you felt a bit uncomfortable about that, is that right? My intention had only been to ask whether it was okay that I showed up at so often, but I want to check whether that was clear. I don’t think we need any particular structure at this stage.
- You asked whether I’ve felt neglected (because that voice in your head had been telling you off for not calling me). I answered that I don’t feel neglected/do feel taken care of. I’m happy with how much contact we have.
- We agreed that—as a baseline—our friendship is worth protecting.
- So by this morning, as far as I can see, we’d talked everything over but agreed not to change or upscale anything. You were feeling a bit weird while we were out rummaging and broggling, so I figured I’d give you some space/time to process and check in after a day or so. If the weirds are still there, we can talk about them.
- I feel much more comfortable after talking, and I think I’ll feel less awkward next time we continue that dialogue.
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 12:05 am
I lurked your thread, and am happy that there are good things for you.
Does this post end my lurkerness?
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 7:07 am
Kitty Konspirator I lurked your thread, and am happy that there are good things for you. Does this post end my lurkerness? Hello! smile
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 7:11 am
So, tonight is probably the first hard night since I brought this all up with F. Called W to see how he was feeling after yesterday's Weirds, and our chat was fine and productive, but made me feel anxious. Not anyone's fault--just realising s**t's getting real. I'm peering over the edge of the poly cliff and nearly jumping. Eep.
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Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 7:45 am
Fizzlesticks So, tonight is probably the first hard night since I brought this all up with F. Called W to see how he was feeling after yesterday's Weirds, and our chat was fine and productive, but made me feel anxious. Not anyone's fault--just realising s**t's getting real. I'm peering over the edge of the poly cliff and nearly jumping. Eep. Breathe, Fizz! *hugs*
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