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 Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 5:17 pm
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Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 2:33 pm
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Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 12:32 am
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Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 7:57 pm
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Posted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 10:00 pm
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Posted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 4:24 pm
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Posted: Mon Jan 12, 2009 6:27 pm
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Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2009 1:17 pm
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Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2009 1:58 pm
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Posted: Wed Jan 21, 2009 3:03 pm
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Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 7:43 pm
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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 9:24 pm
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Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups, he pushes the Earth down.
The realk reason they anned cloning was because if Chuck Norris was ever cloned, and two Cuck Norris round house kicks ever came in contact with each other, the universe would end.
To Chuck Norris, 'Broke Back Mountain' isn't a movie it's the name of the pile of ninja corpses on his front lawn.
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself… The only thing fear has to fear is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
Little kids enjoy lighting ants on fire with magnifying glasses. Chuck Norris enjoys lighting little kids on fire with ants. Scientists have yet to find out how this feat is achieved.
The most effective form of suicide known to man is to type “Chuck Norris” into Google and hit “I’m Feeling Lucky!”.
When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't have a chin under that beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
Chuck Norris was sending an email one day, when he realized that it would be faster to run.
I'd post more, but I think this is enough for now. lol
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Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 9:27 pm
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Posted: Fri Jan 23, 2009 12:28 pm
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Science Infinity Vice Captain
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Posted: Fri Jan 23, 2009 7:24 pm
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