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 Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 4:01 pm
"There’s nothing left but corruption in the world"
This is the only line that seemed iffy to me. The rest flowed nicely, but it's hard to judge without the tune that goes with it. 3nodding
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 4:04 pm
^__^
As soon as I write a tune, I'll post it!
Also, What about changing that line for
"We're all heading down
a long and lonely road..."
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 4:10 pm
bass20xx ^__^
As soon as I write a tune, I'll post it!
Also, What about changing that line for
"We're all heading down
a long and lonely road..." Chee! I look forward to it. whee heart That sounds much better. Methinks you should keep it.
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 4:11 pm
Puck and her boy poked their heads in through the door. He looked left, she looked right, they each looked up and down, then at each other.
"All clear," they whispered in agreement.
They snuck across the white tile floor, Puck's toenails clicking softly as she went. The house was dark, but for the blue glow of the computer at one end of the room. They moved into the kitchen.
"Boost me up," Puck comanded. Her boy did so and she climbed onto the counter. She passed a box of knives and a cookie jar, trying to decide with which one she could have more fun.
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 4:13 pm
O_O Indy are you writing little snippets of a story?
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 4:22 pm
Sanzoskitsune O_O Indy are you writing little snippets of a story? Yeah, when I feel like it.
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 4:25 pm
gonk now you got me curious! darn you!
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 4:27 pm
This will really kill you: I only post one snippit per page. wink
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 4:30 pm
....I hate you, at least I wrote a short, if very short, story
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 4:36 pm
So am I! I'm just breaking it up and posting as I go along.
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 4:39 pm
I beat you with bat *beats with bat*
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 4:39 pm
Sanzoskitsune I beat you with bat *beats with bat* I can't write when you do that!
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 4:42 pm
...we can work around that
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 4:44 pm
You know, you could just keep replying to me until the next page starts. Then I'll have to write the next part.
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Posted: Sun Dec 03, 2006 4:45 pm
stop figuring out my plan! scream
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