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 Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2012 1:12 am
Granted, but now you get flamed by close to a 1000 losers a day. Gmail is saying your going to have to pay them for the level of spam filter and message sorting you need at this point in your "fame".
I wish i could feel a sense of accomplishment in this lifetime.
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Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2012 6:27 pm
Granted, however it's a terrific suicide note....
I wish I could get into concerts for free.
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Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2012 9:35 pm
Granted, you're 200 feet of electrical cable.
I wish I had no bone spurs.
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Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2012 8:32 pm
Granted. All of your bones have been replaced with silicone squeaky dog toys and you make absurd noises as you flail and flop bonelessly trying to get help
I wish I could ride the magnet train in Japan
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Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2012 11:16 am
Granted but you end up sitting next to two fat, smelly, guys
I wish for a burger
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Posted: Mon Jan 16, 2012 10:20 pm
Granted, it is a burgermeister who the taxes you into poverty.
I wish for a quiet day.
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Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2012 5:13 pm
Granted, but your soul-mate tried to call you that day.
I wish for a snow-less winter.
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Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2012 5:01 pm
Granted, the Earth is now too cold for it to ever snow again.
I wish for a chance to use the internet on my terms.
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Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2012 12:36 pm
Granted, however fairies ate your eyes while you slept. You are now blind and cannot see the computer at all.
I wish I had a prehensile tail
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Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2012 10:12 am
Granted, but it keeps taking bananas from store shelves and smearing them all over your body.
I wish mornings were simpler.
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 12:52 am
Granted, you are now catatonic.
I wish I had a mushroom log to grow shitake mushrooms at home
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2012 7:32 pm
granted but it worked too well now your whole house has been overtaken by mushrooms
I wish I had a dollar
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 8:01 am
Granted but its in pennies
I wish for a new bra
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 11:09 am
Granted, you get a bra made with the itchiest wool possible
I wish for a lightbulb
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 11:40 am
Granted. Now the flesh eating moth can find you with ease
I wish I had a box of tissues for my runny nose
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